Just an Update/rent...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 62
Just an Update/rent...
Well, My mom left. She left saturday night. She never even said Happy Birthday to me. Gosh seriously i wish..i just wish she cared. I know she was drunk on my birthday, but still a happy birthday isnt hard to say. Well anyways.. now im stuck doing chores around the house (not like she ever did them in the first place) and taking care of my sisters ( which isnt bad cause i love them) but its gonna be hard. My dad looked into alanon/alateen and hes waiting for a phonecall from someone for them (idk wat he said exactly).
Maybe this is a good thing, even if i love my mom with all my heart. Its nice to have a break from the guilt i feel. Even if i do feel it its not as worse. She never got help, i dont even think she wants it. seriously i know this is extremely low to say, but i give up on her. Im normally the strong one and the one who never gives up but i cant help her if she doesnt want the help.
Well just wanted to update everyone!
Take Care
Ashley
Maybe this is a good thing, even if i love my mom with all my heart. Its nice to have a break from the guilt i feel. Even if i do feel it its not as worse. She never got help, i dont even think she wants it. seriously i know this is extremely low to say, but i give up on her. Im normally the strong one and the one who never gives up but i cant help her if she doesnt want the help.
Well just wanted to update everyone!
Take Care
Ashley
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: anywhere but here
Posts: 25
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday, sweetie! I hope you'll consider therapy as your disappointment is more than anyone should have to deal with. It's not natural. I am so sorry for this. My mother wasn't there for anything either. She was bi-polar and hospitalized most of my childhood. I missed so much and developed many holes as a result. That is why I urge you to find a good counselor to help you get over the hump.
XO and try to be happy!
XO and try to be happy!
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
I remember one birthday that my mother refused to allow me any party at all.
"You little %&^%, you get nothing"
I was angry and hurt. My dad handed me some money and had me sneak out the back door. He sent me to the candy store and said I was to buy things so that we (he and I) could have our own party. My mother had finished her beer and went to sleep. My dad and I sat at the kitchen table and shared what I had bought. What was a day I didn't want to remember became a day I will always remember. My dad understood that he couldn't change her but he could make time for us and make it the best time that we could make it under the circumstances.
In the moment, I may have given up on mom but later on, I held to hope of knowing that if she would seek help, she could stop.
She did stop at a later date and did live sober for many years.
Hope will return...Keep praying for her and hold on to the hope when it returns.
"You little %&^%, you get nothing"
I was angry and hurt. My dad handed me some money and had me sneak out the back door. He sent me to the candy store and said I was to buy things so that we (he and I) could have our own party. My mother had finished her beer and went to sleep. My dad and I sat at the kitchen table and shared what I had bought. What was a day I didn't want to remember became a day I will always remember. My dad understood that he couldn't change her but he could make time for us and make it the best time that we could make it under the circumstances.
In the moment, I may have given up on mom but later on, I held to hope of knowing that if she would seek help, she could stop.
She did stop at a later date and did live sober for many years.
Hope will return...Keep praying for her and hold on to the hope when it returns.
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Happy birthday from me, too. (((withlovinghugs)))
Believe it or not... this might be the first step in YOUR recovery. And one of the most difficult.
It is hard for those of us who are VERY GOOD at fixing things to NOT fix someone who is broken by addiction.
There is a saying around here... "Hands off the addict" - and it applies to alcoholics, too. As long as my addicted loved ones can pass of control of life to everyone around them... they have no need to control it themselves.
As long as someone provides a soft landing... food, shelter, bed, clean clothes AND allows them to drink and drug, there is no motivation to quit.
Loving without rescuing is something I need to work on EVERY SINGLE DAY. It is sooo hard to learn and I've been trying to learn it for a long time.
You are important, loved and special. I am sorry your mom is not in a place where she can tell you that today... but there may come a day when she can. I pray that day can be soon.... but until then, feel free to reach out to those in Alateen... Alanon and here at SR for some of the pieces you don't get directly from your RL family.
(((((Ashley))))))
She never got help, i dont even think she wants it. seriously i know this is extremely low to say, but i give up on her.
It is hard for those of us who are VERY GOOD at fixing things to NOT fix someone who is broken by addiction.
There is a saying around here... "Hands off the addict" - and it applies to alcoholics, too. As long as my addicted loved ones can pass of control of life to everyone around them... they have no need to control it themselves.
As long as someone provides a soft landing... food, shelter, bed, clean clothes AND allows them to drink and drug, there is no motivation to quit.
Loving without rescuing is something I need to work on EVERY SINGLE DAY. It is sooo hard to learn and I've been trying to learn it for a long time.
You are important, loved and special. I am sorry your mom is not in a place where she can tell you that today... but there may come a day when she can. I pray that day can be soon.... but until then, feel free to reach out to those in Alateen... Alanon and here at SR for some of the pieces you don't get directly from your RL family.
(((((Ashley))))))
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Lost in NC
Posts: 416
Happy Birthday from North Carolina Ashely
Your Mom loves you too! She is just trapped in the illness of alcohol. You did not give up, you are just ready to make life better for you and siblings. Hang in there!
Your Mom loves you too! She is just trapped in the illness of alcohol. You did not give up, you are just ready to make life better for you and siblings. Hang in there!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
hey ashley - what the others say above is true. you are a great person and it's so wonderful that you are reaching out and trying to deal with your feelings in a healthy manner. you are breaking the cycle!!! (((big hugs))) to you! my mom finally got sober for the last 10 years of her life and we had a good relationship.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 62
Question..
Me and my dad started talking like 15 mins ago and he just got off the phone with my moms mom. And she was telling him that my moms brother(my uncle) has been drinking more and more too. they just recently adopted a baby. well what my point is..is that obviously its running in our family..but is there anyway i can dodge this disease? For some reason every morning when i wake up i say to myslef, Never pick up a bottle to solve your problems. I know im only 16 and i really shouldnt even be worrying about drinking. but its one of my worst fears and one of my biggest.
Thanx for replying guys!!!
I dont think i could get through this without you guys.
Ash
Thanx for replying guys!!!
I dont think i could get through this without you guys.Ash
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