Courage to Change Sept 10 - DENIAL
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
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Courage to Change Sept 10 - DENIAL
Courage to Change ODAT in Al-Anon II 9/10
My denial was so thick when I came to Al-Anon that I didn’t even know there were alcoholics in my life. Al-Anon helped me feel safe enough to look at the truth. As my denial began to lift, I was horrified at the lies I had told myself and others.
But I went from one extreme to the other and became a compulsive truth teller. It became my mission to inform anyone who would listen about what was really happening. I labeled this “honesty,” but I was actually expressing my anger and scorn for the alcoholic—and crying out for help.
Al-Anon has shown me that my view of a situation is only the “truth” as seen from my tiny corner of the universe. I can’t undo past denial by blaming the alcoholic for having a disease that has affected both our lives, or by bitterly insisting that I now know the real truth. But I can forgive my extreme responses to extreme situations, knowing that I did the best I could at the time. Today I can be honest and still be gentle with myself.
Today’s Reminder
When I stop worrying about how others see things and focus on myself, I gain more serenity than I have ever known. I cannot control the disease of alcoholism, but I can step away from its grip by honestly examining my motives and feelings.
“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster.”
Friedrich Nietzsche
My denial was so thick when I came to Al-Anon that I didn’t even know there were alcoholics in my life. Al-Anon helped me feel safe enough to look at the truth. As my denial began to lift, I was horrified at the lies I had told myself and others.
But I went from one extreme to the other and became a compulsive truth teller. It became my mission to inform anyone who would listen about what was really happening. I labeled this “honesty,” but I was actually expressing my anger and scorn for the alcoholic—and crying out for help.
Al-Anon has shown me that my view of a situation is only the “truth” as seen from my tiny corner of the universe. I can’t undo past denial by blaming the alcoholic for having a disease that has affected both our lives, or by bitterly insisting that I now know the real truth. But I can forgive my extreme responses to extreme situations, knowing that I did the best I could at the time. Today I can be honest and still be gentle with myself.
Today’s Reminder
When I stop worrying about how others see things and focus on myself, I gain more serenity than I have ever known. I cannot control the disease of alcoholism, but I can step away from its grip by honestly examining my motives and feelings.
“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster.”
Friedrich Nietzsche
Forum Leader
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
When I stop worrying about how others see things and focus on myself, I gain more serenity than I have ever known. I
WhenI got out of the mind reading business, I found I had all sorts of free time to think about what I was thinking and feeling. What a blessing!
(please note. This was NOT as easy as I make it sound.
)
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