lilymae

i dont feel good im shaking and have a head ache my chest hurts my body is dragging i feel like crap the pains in my chest are the worst though i think i really messed myself up crap grrrrrr

lilymae

i looked in the mirror this morning and didnt like what i saw pale and dark circles under my eyes and bloodshot eyes not that being fat helps either but thats not my biggest concertn at the moment

Madalaina

Hi Lilymae!

Are you detoxing from something?

I hope that you start to feel better!!


Hugs,
Alissa

aasharon90

Hi lily. Sharon and Alcoholic here. I dont know ur story and this is the first time to read one of ur shares. Are you detoxing from alcohol or drugs?

Have you been sober or clean for awhile and u r scared?

Write me a little here so i can get a feel as to where u r or what u r feeling right now. Ok? Ill be standing by.

lilymae

no i havent actually quit yet i havent made up my mind to

aasharon90

Hi alissa, im from Baton Rouge, La. but have been here in Houston 10 yrs. I miss home very much. Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic. Been sober by the grace of my HP and people like u here in SR since 8-11-90. For that im truely grateful. I just wanted to introduce myself to u.

aasharon90

Do you want to quit drinking or using?

lilymae

about a year ago i went into rehab and was clean for like there months but after that it all fell apart again ive been back on various painkillers and muscle relaxs and rxs and alcohol since then but no one here know not my threapist oor psychatrist or anyone but thing have gotten worse lately i have been wanting to cut again and been feeling like killing myself also im fighting more with my family which doesnt help at all i also have an ed and have been fighting that temptation lately

lilymae

im not sure sometimes it feels like thats the only thing that gets me through my day

Madalaina

Are you in school, Lilymae?

Madalaina

Hi Sharon!

Nice to meet you, my friend!

Alissa

lilymae

no i dropped out

aasharon90

You are in high school still? Close to graduating? How long did u stay in rehab? Was it an in patiant outpatiant? You are still so young....a full life ahead of you. Why r u on painkillers? muscles relaxers? did u have an accident?

aasharon90

Hi Alissa. Nice to meet u too....Good ol Louisiana. LOVE IT...! : )

lilymae

i dropped out in 9th grade i would be in 11th grade this year if i was still going the last rehab i was in was in patient for a month and 1/2 i started taking painkillers for my back and then i found my moms vicodin and some old musle relaxer and some ridilin and some sleep aid and figured what the hell why not no i didnt have an accident i just have horrible back and shoulder pains

Madalaina

Lilymae,

Sharon is right! You have a full life ahead of you! There is a different way to live, my friend! All you have to do is want it! Do you want to stop doing drugs and drinking?

Hugs,
Alissa

lilymae

im not sure like i said it is time s the only thing that gets me through the day\

Madalaina

But sweetie,

There are lots of other things that you could be doing, that will help you get through the day. Lots of things that are alot more healthy for you! Please tell me what I can do to help you!

Alissa

lilymae

im not sure what if anything you can do but thanks for wanting to helpall i know is i cant tell anyone here but i needed someone to talk to besides myself and my dog

aasharon90

Would you like to share what it is like at home with us? Well first why did u drop out of school so early? Why did u go to rehab to begin with...a month and a half is a long time...im sure you must have heard something in there to give u some encouragement even if u did relapse. There is hope for u if u really want it and u dont have to go thru this alone. Keeping all of this from ur family...i would think they have some idea that u r in trouble. Did they get u in rehab to begin with? If so they must have cared an aweful lot about u to want to help u. What do u think?