Well, I did it...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 782
Well, I did it...
...moved into my apartment that is. I rented my own U-Haul truck, loaded everything out of storage, and lugged it up to the third floor apartment! Well, except the couch, bed, and TV. I was dragging my box springs down the sidewalk and trying to shove it up the stairs when some poor neighbor took pity on me and finished off my big furniture.
He keeps calling me, leaving voicemails swearing he's changed, but I guess the proof is in the pudding. I feel a little twinge of guilt, but not enough to turn around. I can tell he's really not drinking for now, but how many times did I post that he said he was quitting, and I was wondering if he was serious??? You must remember all of those!!!
He keeps saying, "But I never thought you would actually leave me! I thought I was doing enough financially that I didn't have to do anything else, but now I know different. I'm going to treat you so good!!"
*sigh* It's still pretty sad.....but I'm doing good...
He keeps calling me, leaving voicemails swearing he's changed, but I guess the proof is in the pudding. I feel a little twinge of guilt, but not enough to turn around. I can tell he's really not drinking for now, but how many times did I post that he said he was quitting, and I was wondering if he was serious??? You must remember all of those!!!
He keeps saying, "But I never thought you would actually leave me! I thought I was doing enough financially that I didn't have to do anything else, but now I know different. I'm going to treat you so good!!"*sigh* It's still pretty sad.....but I'm doing good...
Last edited by TexasGirl; 09-10-2006 at 03:40 PM.
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: chelsea, ma
Posts: 3
You will be o.k. I have moved on myself and it's hard sometimes but sometimes there is only so much you can do for a person and then you need to do for yourself. (at least that is what I am learning now) I received a note on my car one week ago saying "please help me, i love you so much" but only himself, God and professional help can actually help. But it hurts so much. Stay strong ( i will if you will)
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
If memory serves me correctly, you were always afraid of being independant. Well, now is your chance to prove to YOURSELF that you have been truly underestimating yourself.
This is your chance to make YOUR life! And give him a chance to find his own. And if someday, they come back together - you will both be healthier and happier.
Believe in yourself TG!
((Lots of hugs your way))
This is your chance to make YOUR life! And give him a chance to find his own. And if someday, they come back together - you will both be healthier and happier.
Believe in yourself TG!
((Lots of hugs your way))
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: sadtown, OR
Posts: 89
Texasgirl, way to go. In time you will enjoy your independence. Every once in awhile, you will need a little help (like your neighbor) but that normal. Concentrate on yourself and things will start to get better.
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: nowheresville
Posts: 872
Hi TexasGirl,
Anyways, good luck in your new place. Maybe it's time to work on dependency issues. I know for me I've reache dthat point in my life to deal with my dependency issues.
Ngaire
Originally Posted by TexasGirl
...moved into my apartment that is. I rented my own U-Haul truck, loaded everything out of storage, and lugged it up to the third floor apartment! Well, except the couch, bed, and TV. I was dragging my box springs down the sidewalk and trying to shove it up the stairs when some poor neighbor took pity on me and finished off my big furniture.
I could be wrong but this paragraph here seems to be loaded with a lot of manipulation. How can he say he's changed, maybe in his mind he has but has he been in meetings,is he working steps? We change when we are in a program and working it.
Also if he had truly changed and wasn't trying to manipulate you it seems to me he would leave you one calm message with something intelligent to say respect your space and give you time to get yourself together to call him back.
By calling and calling he's hoping that he can win you over through words not actions.
He keeps calling me, leaving voicemails swearing he's changed, but I guess the proof is in the pudding. I feel a little twinge of guilt, but not enough to turn around. I can tell he's really not drinking for now, but how many times did I post that he said he was quitting, and I was wondering if he was serious??? You must remember all of those!!! He keeps saying, "But I never thought you would actually leave me! I thought I was doing enough financially that I didn't have to do anything else, but now I know different. I'm going to treat you so good!!"
*sigh* It's still pretty sad.....but I'm doing good...
I could be wrong but this paragraph here seems to be loaded with a lot of manipulation. How can he say he's changed, maybe in his mind he has but has he been in meetings,is he working steps? We change when we are in a program and working it.
Also if he had truly changed and wasn't trying to manipulate you it seems to me he would leave you one calm message with something intelligent to say respect your space and give you time to get yourself together to call him back.
By calling and calling he's hoping that he can win you over through words not actions.
He keeps calling me, leaving voicemails swearing he's changed, but I guess the proof is in the pudding. I feel a little twinge of guilt, but not enough to turn around. I can tell he's really not drinking for now, but how many times did I post that he said he was quitting, and I was wondering if he was serious??? You must remember all of those!!!
He keeps saying, "But I never thought you would actually leave me! I thought I was doing enough financially that I didn't have to do anything else, but now I know different. I'm going to treat you so good!!"*sigh* It's still pretty sad.....but I'm doing good...
Anyways, good luck in your new place. Maybe it's time to work on dependency issues. I know for me I've reache dthat point in my life to deal with my dependency issues.
Ngaire
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 782
It's weird just how good I'm doing!!! Once I started to get over the guilty, terrible feelings of, well, for lack of better words, breaking up with someone, I'm doing pretty good!!! I'm happy, I like my apartment, I am doing what I want to do, I ordered a computer last night (been trying to convice AH we needed a new one for 2 years), I'm walking my dog after work, I worked out. I'm just happy. Thought I'd share.
Thought I'd share.
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: TN
Posts: 21
[QUOTE=TexasGirl]He keeps calling me, leaving voicemails swearing he's changed, but I guess the proof is in the pudding. I feel a little twinge of guilt, but not enough to turn around. I can tell he's really not drinking for now, but how many times did I post that he said he was quitting, and I was wondering if he was serious??? You must remember all of those!!! He keeps saying, "But I never thought you would actually leave me!
Hi TexasGirl....
Thanks for your posts. I'm new and in a similar place. Reading your posts is really helping me.
Moving out and standing on my own two feet has been the hardest thing I've ever done. It's so hard for me right now not to give in to his phone calls and emails. It breaks my heart every time he calls and I hear the hurt and despair in his voice. My first instinct is put him back together and make everything better. I mean that has been my primary function (which I have resented) for so many years. Then I remind myself how hurt I was every time he didn't fullfill his end of the bargain, how many times my giving in left me feeling robbed, and how many times he has left me crying and in pain.
All I know to do right now is to keep the focus where it belongs.... on me getting better!!! I'm taking care of myself for a change. I'm just getting started and it sure feels strange, but I know it's what I need.
He keeps saying, "But I never thought you would actually leave me! Hi TexasGirl....
Thanks for your posts. I'm new and in a similar place. Reading your posts is really helping me.
Moving out and standing on my own two feet has been the hardest thing I've ever done. It's so hard for me right now not to give in to his phone calls and emails. It breaks my heart every time he calls and I hear the hurt and despair in his voice. My first instinct is put him back together and make everything better. I mean that has been my primary function (which I have resented) for so many years. Then I remind myself how hurt I was every time he didn't fullfill his end of the bargain, how many times my giving in left me feeling robbed, and how many times he has left me crying and in pain.
All I know to do right now is to keep the focus where it belongs.... on me getting better!!! I'm taking care of myself for a change. I'm just getting started and it sure feels strange, but I know it's what I need.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
TG, I have found for me that the more busy I keep myself and have people in my life - it helps. It helps me to have friends to go do stuff with and/or hang out with. It's been when I'm feeling lonely or had a bad day that I tend to really miss AH so very much.
I hope that you are making new friends.
I'm happy to hear that you are loving being on your own. It's a whole new world out there for you and I'm really proud of you for standing on your own. You're doing great!
I hope that you are making new friends.
I'm happy to hear that you are loving being on your own. It's a whole new world out there for you and I'm really proud of you for standing on your own. You're doing great!
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