Not even a week
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: The land of the stars
Posts: 2
Not even a week
Hello everyone. My title saids it all. I can't even make it a week! How ashamed am I? I am trying. This all came to light for me when I was pulled in on a 5150 and I am sure you all know what that means.
It all started(or when I finally recognized it started)when my boyfriend (for lack of a better name) convinced me to move back to CA for AZ because he loved me soooooo much and couldn't live without me. Mind you I moved to AZ (with our infant daughter) to get away from him and his narcistoc ways! After all he had another baby with another women (a stripper and speed addict) not even a year later!
Well I ignored him for the most part during my time in AZ. I was drinking a lot in and never thought is was problem. Then for some reason I slowly let him back into my life. So much so that he convinced me to move back to CA even tough things were going somewhat well in AZ.
He promised all the things I wanted to hear. "I love you", I wil take care of you", You are the only one for me". Well a month of being here showed me something way different!. He wasn't coming home at night and no one questioned it. His family couldn't understand it but no one questioned it.
Meanwhile drinking continued for me, even more so to escape the unwinning situation I had put myself in. Because of my drinking I made really bad choices. I sit here on a Friday nite after a week of sobriety waiting for the jerk to show up even tough I know he won't.
Now I am not blaming my alcoholism on him. As a matter of fact I am thanking him in a way. He made it even more clear to me why I make the choices that I do.
So I guess I have given you enough insight and vented enough for one nite. I would appreciate any insight and words of support I can get.
Thanx in advance and god bless.
It all started(or when I finally recognized it started)when my boyfriend (for lack of a better name) convinced me to move back to CA for AZ because he loved me soooooo much and couldn't live without me. Mind you I moved to AZ (with our infant daughter) to get away from him and his narcistoc ways! After all he had another baby with another women (a stripper and speed addict) not even a year later!
Well I ignored him for the most part during my time in AZ. I was drinking a lot in and never thought is was problem. Then for some reason I slowly let him back into my life. So much so that he convinced me to move back to CA even tough things were going somewhat well in AZ.
He promised all the things I wanted to hear. "I love you", I wil take care of you", You are the only one for me". Well a month of being here showed me something way different!. He wasn't coming home at night and no one questioned it. His family couldn't understand it but no one questioned it.
Meanwhile drinking continued for me, even more so to escape the unwinning situation I had put myself in. Because of my drinking I made really bad choices. I sit here on a Friday nite after a week of sobriety waiting for the jerk to show up even tough I know he won't.
Now I am not blaming my alcoholism on him. As a matter of fact I am thanking him in a way. He made it even more clear to me why I make the choices that I do.
So I guess I have given you enough insight and vented enough for one nite. I would appreciate any insight and words of support I can get.
Thanx in advance and god bless.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Hi and Welcome,
Stopping drinking is hard, but you can do it.
What worked for me was changing my routines. Plan to do something different at the times when you would have been drinking. Go home a different way so you don't pass the liquor store. Make a specific plan so you keep your mind off drinking, even for just a little while.
There is lots of support here at SR, so keep visiting.
Stopping drinking is hard, but you can do it.
What worked for me was changing my routines. Plan to do something different at the times when you would have been drinking. Go home a different way so you don't pass the liquor store. Make a specific plan so you keep your mind off drinking, even for just a little while.
There is lots of support here at SR, so keep visiting.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 859
Welcome to SR!!!!
Agreed, change your habits......
be responsible for YOU but focus on YOU and NOT him...... do what ever you can to make it "right" for YOU!!!!
Stay Strong!!!!!
read a lot around here and post often, the support ROCKS!!!!!
Liss
Agreed, change your habits......
be responsible for YOU but focus on YOU and NOT him...... do what ever you can to make it "right" for YOU!!!!
Stay Strong!!!!!
read a lot around here and post often, the support ROCKS!!!!!
Liss
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: El Cerrito, California
Posts: 580
We make some bad choices when we're desperate. But sometimes we can make good ones. I had to go to a lot of friggin meetings just because my life was haywire and I couldn't think of anything else to do. Wanting to drink is part of the disease, it's not because we're weak. But we have to take the disease seriously and do whatever it takes to get the support to make it one day at a time.
It's a little like the Seinfeld episode where George discovers that all his natural instincts are wrong, but if he goes against them, things turn out right. We can try new things even if they seem screwey.
That's how I got started anyway.
It's a little like the Seinfeld episode where George discovers that all his natural instincts are wrong, but if he goes against them, things turn out right. We can try new things even if they seem screwey.
That's how I got started anyway.
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