try2quit

Last Tuesday, I sat in front of my computer screen crying while reading through these forums. My wife had finally had enough of me the night before. I have been drinking and smoking weed since I was 12 years old. In college, I was an athlete, so, my drinking and smoking was not that bad since we always had practice. Since then, I have drank almost every single day, for 11 years. There has been a day or two here and there that I did not when we would be visiting her parents or something like that. However, most days consisted of me grabbing a 6 pack for my ride home, then having a few more beers at home. Since I have a flexible job, there are some days that I can leave early. Those days were "great." I could grab a case of beer and start drinking at 10am and drink all day long. I have to travel for work, which meant it was a party the whole time. Sometimes, I would go to city and all I would do was drink for three or four days. I would start at 11am in restaurants but by about 6pm I would be getting pretty wasted, so I would buy a case and drink the rest, by myself, in a hotel room. When I woke up last Tuesday, I was pretty hung over. My wife had yelled at me for a while the night before. She hated me, she wanted me out, she loathed my existence. She said the thought of us having children was a joke. She was tired of finding empties in the garage, the house, in my car. She hated kissing me because I reaked of beer. Last Tuesday, I woke up, she yelled at me and left for work. So, I cracked a beer. While searching the net and drinking, I stumbled across this site.

This Tuesday, I woke up at 6am and fixed my wife and I coffee and breakfast. I went to a 9am meeting actually prepared with reports, rather than, "I will get those done right away." I have not had anything to drink for seven days. I realize that I have a long way to go but I wanted to say THANK YOU to this forum. Those first few days were hard. I felt like I could not eat, could not sleep, had headaches, was sweating like crazy. Let me tell people who are thinking about quitting what I have loved about this past week.

My wife has told me she loves me more in the past three days than she has in the past three years. I look people in the eye when I speak to them. I go for a run or bike ride without having to reward myself with a six pack "for a job well done." I don't wake up thinking "what the hell did I do last night?" I have lost 10 lbs. I am excited about life and that is a feeling that I have not felt in a long time. I need to get back to work however I wanted to share this with this forum since I feel that you guys are responsible for the beginning of change in my life. When I get a craving or I drive by a liquor store and think, just one, I think of the stories that people courageously shared on here and I keep driving. I hope I keep driving for the rest of my life because I already feel like I have missed my 20's and early 30's and I don't want to miss anymore.

Thank you.

Phinneas

Welcome to SR, try2quit.

7 days is FANTASTIC. Congrats on starting your journey to a whole new, sober way of life. Keep going to those meetings and posting and reading here at SR. We're glad you found us and will support you all the way!

PaperDolls

Welcome to SR try2quit.

Sounds like you're doing a great job. 7 days is a great accomplishment. It's not easy but it gets easier and life will continue to get better. You'll have some rough days. It happens. I've got 9 months under my belt but pretty much everyday I'd love to have a beer (or eight). I have to remember that I am in control, not the beer. I choose not to give into any cravings. I get to stay in control and life is so much better.

I'm glad you stumbled across the site. It's been a life saver for me.

hugs,
doll

Krys_wyo

Your wife was my husband 82 days ago, although he was going to take our kids.
You made me think of that Tim McGraw song "My next 30 years", I am 34 and have missed so much as well.
Good luck and keep posting

StrongR2Day

That is wonderful! You may want to print that post out and keep it close by in case the urge strikes.

So glad you are here, keep posting!

PaperDolls

Great idea StrongR. I think we should all think to do that. Something I should probably do as well.