Luckyv2

You know for many years I always thought that the end was the problem, but the more I stick around here, the meetings, etc. WE come to find out that it isn't the last one that gets us messed up it is the first one. I know and many others have thought that we could use successfully. Most of us have had to pay a dear price for that thinking.

When we go out, sure we might be able to drink one beer, do one loader, etc. But eventually we end up in worse shape than ever. This dis-ease progresses even if we are not using. We do recover but it doesn't happen over night. So many times I have went out and used and then a week later find myself saying how could this have happened again. Well the way that it happened is I set myself up with my mental state way before I picked up. Yes it isn't the alcohol or the dope, it is in fact our mental state that has everything to do with it.

Our dis-ease is three fold we have to acknowledge that we are mentally, physically, and spiritually different from other people. I know that some of us don't even believe that this is a disease, and that is every ones choice. However I have come to realize that it is a disease and it all comes down to learning a new way of life and it comes down to acceptance of who I am.

My name is Vic and I am an addict! Now what am I willing to do about Vic

Love Vic

Anna

It is something that we need to work on every day Vic, just like you said. There is the physical, emotional and spiritual aspect that we have to deal with each day. I know I have to talk the negative thinking as quickly as I can because it's the beginning of the downfall.

Luckyv2

I agree with that too Anna, that negative thinking isn't for us! It leads only to unhappiness, and despair. I am grateful for what is going on today. I am thankful that my mind isn't like it was a few months ago. I am so grateful that today, I can live within my own skin and be happy with who I am and where I am. Not everyday, but it is better than it was.

Love Vic

gettingbetter32

If someone had told me years ago that this is what I would be dealing with at 32 I would have laughed. I never in a million years guessed that the highlight of my day would be logging into SR and struggling like so many others. It's scary to think about the hold that crap can have on us. I was always the strong one - holding things together - getting through anything.
But I let the drugs get ahold of me.
I will never be able to "one" of anything again. And I'm coming to terms with that. I also never thought I would be able to say -
My name is Krista, and I'm an addict.
wow, humbling