NeW
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
Hi, Ryan............consider yourself one of "us"...I'm so glad you are here.
Maybe you would like to tell us a little bit about yourself? There are lots of great people here;so glad you found us. I'm looking froward to getting to know you.
Maybe you would like to tell us a little bit about yourself? There are lots of great people here;so glad you found us. I'm looking froward to getting to know you.
o.0
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 36
Ok here is my story:
My father is an alcoholic...He works on the Psychiatric Unit at a hospital, he has hurt his back 2 times and had surgery both times. He drinks quite a bit and takes pain medication with it *because his back hurts* we have had to call 911 many times (we as in my mother) because he has gotten drunk and wouldnt wake up, or complains of a headache and does a dive into the lawn, not a normal dive like passing out...but a scary dive..Like death.
He has gotten drunk and wouldnt wake up even after slapping him and punching him as hard as i possibly could...He takes sleeping medication, diabetes medication, any kind of medication you can possibly think of...he is pretty much always drunk on his days off...he will drive me to football practice drunk, he can't seem to function right, unless hes, yes you guessed it...drunk or using liqour. Him and my mom Kelly were talking of getting a divorce. I have no family where i live, only my grandparents that have NEVER really been there for me.
When my mom and him were going to get a divorce he left for almost a week in a camper, he was drunk one of the last days. We were driving home and he was swerving all over the road...i was scared for my life. When i got home i was so glad. We just started going to church and he hasnt been drinking quite as much...but he still drinks beer with his medications...which makes him very weird, mite as well be drunk...hes went ice fishing drunk with me, hunting, football games, everywhere that has to do with work he has to have some type of liqour. I love my father more than anything in the world...and the last thing i want to see is him in a casket. His friend Matt Englund died 3 days ago last year...its been hard for us all..a long road, but i really wish he could quit.
Thank you.
My father is an alcoholic...He works on the Psychiatric Unit at a hospital, he has hurt his back 2 times and had surgery both times. He drinks quite a bit and takes pain medication with it *because his back hurts* we have had to call 911 many times (we as in my mother) because he has gotten drunk and wouldnt wake up, or complains of a headache and does a dive into the lawn, not a normal dive like passing out...but a scary dive..Like death.
He has gotten drunk and wouldnt wake up even after slapping him and punching him as hard as i possibly could...He takes sleeping medication, diabetes medication, any kind of medication you can possibly think of...he is pretty much always drunk on his days off...he will drive me to football practice drunk, he can't seem to function right, unless hes, yes you guessed it...drunk or using liqour. Him and my mom Kelly were talking of getting a divorce. I have no family where i live, only my grandparents that have NEVER really been there for me.
When my mom and him were going to get a divorce he left for almost a week in a camper, he was drunk one of the last days. We were driving home and he was swerving all over the road...i was scared for my life. When i got home i was so glad. We just started going to church and he hasnt been drinking quite as much...but he still drinks beer with his medications...which makes him very weird, mite as well be drunk...hes went ice fishing drunk with me, hunting, football games, everywhere that has to do with work he has to have some type of liqour. I love my father more than anything in the world...and the last thing i want to see is him in a casket. His friend Matt Englund died 3 days ago last year...its been hard for us all..a long road, but i really wish he could quit.
Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Hi again Ryan
I'm really sorry to hear this. It sounds scary - especially the car rides.
I just checked out the Wisconsin Alateen site, and there is a Saturday noon meeting in Superior. You might find a lot of support there from others who are going through the same thing. If you need help finding the site, let me know.
It sounds like you're still in school - is there a counsellor you can talk to? Also, have you discussed all this with your mom? Does she know you are getting in the car with your dad being drunk?
Very glad you found this site - it takes a lot of courage to reach out for help.
Keep coming back!
I'm really sorry to hear this. It sounds scary - especially the car rides.
I just checked out the Wisconsin Alateen site, and there is a Saturday noon meeting in Superior. You might find a lot of support there from others who are going through the same thing. If you need help finding the site, let me know.
It sounds like you're still in school - is there a counsellor you can talk to? Also, have you discussed all this with your mom? Does she know you are getting in the car with your dad being drunk?
Very glad you found this site - it takes a lot of courage to reach out for help.
Keep coming back!
o.0
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 36
Thank you both...i found the alateen site also...my grandma and grandpa that live in AZ got divorced from the same reasonwhats going on now..she sent me the older version of Alateen booklet, and she gave me the site for alateen. I appreciate the help 
. Also..yes my mom knows and she has been talking with the family and they agree that its not good hes driving drunk with me in the car...so she is telling me to NEVER drive with him in the car if hes drinking again.
. Also..yes my mom knows and she has been talking with the family and they agree that its not good hes driving drunk with me in the car...so she is telling me to NEVER drive with him in the car if hes drinking again.
o.0
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 36
Some of the car rides are my fault also..my mom always is telling me not to drive with him but most of the time i refuse and go anyways...just to babysit him and make sure he doesnt pass out at the wheel.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
glad you joined us ryan - your a wise young man to be looking into helping yourself understand this disease now. you shouldn't have to be "babysitting" your dad. i know you care about him, but we can't "watch" our alcoholic loved ones 24/7. you may want to check out the adult children of alcoholics forum here also. lots of us - young and old - that have grown up with an alcoholic parent to talk to. keep posting and do check out alateen.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 66
Hi Ryan! I am so sorry you and you're family are going through such a tough time. Please don't feel obligated to babysit your dad especially while he is drinking and driving. I know how hard it is to let someone you love suffer, but I really don't want to see anything happen to you and I'm sure that would devistate your mom. Sounds like you have a good support network at home with your mom and grandparents. Like others suggested you may want to talk to your guidance counsler, so she know what your dealing with and also because she is trained to help someone just your age. You are a smart young man and none of this is your fault, not even the car rides. God Bless you Ryan!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Anywhere,USA
Posts: 511
****{Ryan}}}
So glad you're here and posting!
This is a wonderful place where you can learn a lot...
Just remember none of this is your fault.
You didn't cause it, can't control it and certainly can't cure it!
{The Alanon Three C's}
I'm a recovering addict...clean for 5 years...also grew up in an alcoholic home!
I once had to wait until daddy passed out so I could unload the gun that he was going to go shoot someone that he'd gotten into a bar fight with...
It was frequent to hear him come in after the bars closed at 2am...he'd be loud and wake everyone in the house up...
Then there was the fighting with my mom....
He'd take us kids with him to stop at the bar for a beer...and we'd still be sitting in the car waiting for him at closing time hours later...with mom at home worried sick, not knowing where we were...
Please do NOT get into the car with him when he's been drinking!
Have a backup plan, walk or call mom or a friend's mom, a neighbor, a teacher, another adult that you trust....
I'm also concerned about you "punching him as hard as you can".....
It probably does neither one of you any good if he's passed out cold...
just gets you upset while trying to wake him up...
Leave him where he is...as long as he's breathing.
Let him wake up in the yard a few times...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Posts: 261
Welcome to you !!! So sorry you have to be a memer of our club. You found the right place.
As far as the drinking and driving... if you know he is leaving the house intoxicated in a car... i was told by a police officer that I should call the dept and let them know his route and they will nab him...
That is a tough thing to do, but may be just what he needs.
Secondly... You sound darling. Are you up for adoption?
Karen
As far as the drinking and driving... if you know he is leaving the house intoxicated in a car... i was told by a police officer that I should call the dept and let them know his route and they will nab him...
That is a tough thing to do, but may be just what he needs.
Secondly... You sound darling. Are you up for adoption?
Karen
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
Ryan, nice to meet you, and as all have said. you have your ticket... nice to see your geting a jump start already... your working on yourself... my problem, the women i was to marry is six months dead to this very day .... as i have learned, NOTHING you can do or say will make a world of differance unless the person involved wants the help... Ryan, just work on you... your young, and have a wonderfull life ahead... use it to your fullist, in the end, you can become wise, and pass the wisdom to others that may seek it.
all good wishes to you Ryan, and give only love, its worth the price of admission .... xxoo, Rusty
*because his back hurts*
all good wishes to you Ryan, and give only love, its worth the price of admission .... xxoo, Rusty
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Lost in NC
Posts: 416
Hi Ryan,
Remember its not your fault!
Perhaps you can talk to some adults in your family about your feelings and concerns. Also, your Dad could be in a lot of Pain from his back problems and turned to alcohol to help him cope. Many Doctors do not know how to handle chronic pain, but there has been a renewed interest in the treatment of pain in recent years. Suggest to your family a "Chronic Pain" specialist that can perhaps help treat his pain and maybe even help get help with the alcohol.
Remember its not your fault!
Perhaps you can talk to some adults in your family about your feelings and concerns. Also, your Dad could be in a lot of Pain from his back problems and turned to alcohol to help him cope. Many Doctors do not know how to handle chronic pain, but there has been a renewed interest in the treatment of pain in recent years. Suggest to your family a "Chronic Pain" specialist that can perhaps help treat his pain and maybe even help get help with the alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
Just wanted to welcome you to SR. I am glad you found us.
You have received really good advice from some very caring
people already. Please keep yourself safe...don't drive with your
Dad when he is drinking...keep coming back.....
You have received really good advice from some very caring
people already. Please keep yourself safe...don't drive with your
Dad when he is drinking...keep coming back.....
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Melbourne, Vic
Posts: 20
I SO admire the younger ones who recognise someone in their life has a problem! Well done Ryan! You show maturity that even a lot of adults can't.
My son is 15 - he woke me up when I fell into the trap of drinking with my alcoholic partner - it was a fantastic effort - and showed he had learned with diligence, about the affects of drugs and alcohol at a very good time. He wrote an outstanding 'brochure' that was recommended for youths as an assignment - and he brought home all the literature he could and asked me to read it all. I don't beleive I am an alcoholic myself, but I did fall into the trap of drinking often - to make it ok for the partner to drink I guess.
Partner though? He didn't read any of it - but I left the literature lying around for a few weeks in the hope that he did.
The best thing you can do is be active in groups like this, join al-anon/alteen, be active in it and learn from them - get all the support you can from others who truely understand.
Welcome to the group! (from another newbie here)
My son is 15 - he woke me up when I fell into the trap of drinking with my alcoholic partner - it was a fantastic effort - and showed he had learned with diligence, about the affects of drugs and alcohol at a very good time. He wrote an outstanding 'brochure' that was recommended for youths as an assignment - and he brought home all the literature he could and asked me to read it all. I don't beleive I am an alcoholic myself, but I did fall into the trap of drinking often - to make it ok for the partner to drink I guess.
Partner though? He didn't read any of it - but I left the literature lying around for a few weeks in the hope that he did.
The best thing you can do is be active in groups like this, join al-anon/alteen, be active in it and learn from them - get all the support you can from others who truely understand.
Welcome to the group! (from another newbie here)
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Arizona
Posts: 928
Ryan -
Welcome to our on-line family!!! Happy you are here.
Wow - you are a really smart guy to get help so young!! Just wanted you to know there is hope for you..(and your mom too)..
I started getting help at 17 and have never stopped....
One thing that helped for me when I was younger (and still does) is to volunteer and help other people that have it even worse then I did..I volunteered at the local hospital from the time I was 14 on...
Also another thing that really helped is that I adopted alot of other women as my mom..(both of my parents parents were alcoholics so my parents really didnt' know how to give me the love I deserved)...
I was lucky in that I got a lot of love I needed from these other families...
(I know that your mom loves you very much..I can tell)
And Alateen is a wonderful place to be so you wont' feel alone...
I'm so glad you are here.
Welcome to our on-line family!!! Happy you are here.
Wow - you are a really smart guy to get help so young!! Just wanted you to know there is hope for you..(and your mom too)..
I started getting help at 17 and have never stopped....
One thing that helped for me when I was younger (and still does) is to volunteer and help other people that have it even worse then I did..I volunteered at the local hospital from the time I was 14 on...
Also another thing that really helped is that I adopted alot of other women as my mom..(both of my parents parents were alcoholics so my parents really didnt' know how to give me the love I deserved)...
I was lucky in that I got a lot of love I needed from these other families...
(I know that your mom loves you very much..I can tell)
And Alateen is a wonderful place to be so you wont' feel alone...
I'm so glad you are here.
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