He said......
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He said......
He voluntarily pays child support 
and he was in court!! Ok..so I went....I wanted to hear EVERYTHING. And I'm glad I did.
What did I experience.....Someone who did not seem at all embarrassed by his actions. Someone who will say whatever just to make himself sound better. And someone who got off scott free. Ok..Not scott free. He still has to do a total of 10 days (8 days credit for how long he's already been there), license suspended for 6 months, and has to stay away from the location of the offense. He might as well gotten slapped on the wrist.
No matter. I heard what I needed to hear....A LIAR. And he didn't deny to the judge that it was a crack pipe.
On with my day.........
I would have treated myself to a nice lunch....but with all the child support he pays, I couldn't afford it. Why don't I file? b/c he's not working...I don't think it'll do me any good.
Anyway...........I'm enjoying the company of my kids. Tonight, my daughter is helping me cook. My son cut the grass for me
(There was $10 in it for him though 
)
and he was in court!! Ok..so I went....I wanted to hear EVERYTHING. And I'm glad I did. What did I experience.....Someone who did not seem at all embarrassed by his actions. Someone who will say whatever just to make himself sound better. And someone who got off scott free. Ok..Not scott free. He still has to do a total of 10 days (8 days credit for how long he's already been there), license suspended for 6 months, and has to stay away from the location of the offense. He might as well gotten slapped on the wrist.
No matter. I heard what I needed to hear....A LIAR. And he didn't deny to the judge that it was a crack pipe.
On with my day.........
I would have treated myself to a nice lunch....but with all the child support he pays, I couldn't afford it. Why don't I file? b/c he's not working...I don't think it'll do me any good.
Anyway...........I'm enjoying the company of my kids. Tonight, my daughter is helping me cook. My son cut the grass for me
(There was $10 in it for him though )
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Originally Posted by JessicaNAJ
I would have treated myself to a nice lunch....but with all the child support he pays, I couldn't afford it. Why don't I file? b/c he's not working...I don't think it'll do me any good.
L
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Originally Posted by LaTeeDa
Well, you may not get any cash out of it, but at least you will get the satisfaction of refuting one of his lies.................................
L
L
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Well, I'm not a lawyer, but I do know that many things can be taken care of simply by filing papers with the court, without having to actually appear before a judge. Especially if the other person does not file something back. I would say it's probably a good idea to get some legal advice. I don't know about where you live, but here in California, all counties have a Family Law Facilitator whose job it is to help those who find themselves involved in Family Law Court without the means to afford an attorney. Maybe there is something similar where you live?
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You know, Jessica....sometimes I need to hear and see things too. I need to keep a reality check on myself.
At least if you file for support, the back support will accrue and will come out of tax refunds etc. And if you must file in the future, you can ask for legal costs.
At least if you file for support, the back support will accrue and will come out of tax refunds etc. And if you must file in the future, you can ask for legal costs.
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Jessica you need to file for child support and get it ordered by the court whether he can pay it or not.
Once it is ordered by the court, any he does not pay, becomes 'back child support' and it mounts, You may see no money for quite some time, but eventually they will get it out of him one way or another.
Also, once you have an order for child support, no matter what your salary, usually income support division in your state (welfare in oathers) will see to it, and you will get some AFDC to be paid back out of whatever child support he sends to the court as ordered. In other words you get it now and he gets its later, rofl.
Please file for formal court ordered child support. It will open some doors for you for some additional help, possibly even including child care.
J M H O
Love and (((((to all))))),
Once it is ordered by the court, any he does not pay, becomes 'back child support' and it mounts, You may see no money for quite some time, but eventually they will get it out of him one way or another.
Also, once you have an order for child support, no matter what your salary, usually income support division in your state (welfare in oathers) will see to it, and you will get some AFDC to be paid back out of whatever child support he sends to the court as ordered. In other words you get it now and he gets its later, rofl.
Please file for formal court ordered child support. It will open some doors for you for some additional help, possibly even including child care.
J M H O
Love and (((((to all))))),
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Jess,
When I went thru this I was living in Texas. They have VERY strict child support laws and they don't tolerate many excuses or bad behavior on the part of the person who pays.
Even when someone is not working, the courts in TX figure out what an able bodied person could make earning minimum wage for 40 hrs a week, and they base child support on THAT amount. Typically it's written into the order that both parties are bound to report change in employment or change in physical address within 10 days. Failure to do that is contempt of court.
Many (most) lawyers will give a consult at no cost. If it's a straightforward situation of a irresponsible lazy *ss who isn't meeting his obligations, the court smacks them with all costs (his and yours) and sets up an automatic withdrawl so you get your child support right out of his check.
It's certainly worth a phone call or 2 to your local family court system to find out your options. Bottom line is that he's legally obligated to pay child support until your kids are 18 (sometimes 21 or out of college).
Good luck, big hugs
Cat
When I went thru this I was living in Texas. They have VERY strict child support laws and they don't tolerate many excuses or bad behavior on the part of the person who pays.
Even when someone is not working, the courts in TX figure out what an able bodied person could make earning minimum wage for 40 hrs a week, and they base child support on THAT amount. Typically it's written into the order that both parties are bound to report change in employment or change in physical address within 10 days. Failure to do that is contempt of court.
Many (most) lawyers will give a consult at no cost. If it's a straightforward situation of a irresponsible lazy *ss who isn't meeting his obligations, the court smacks them with all costs (his and yours) and sets up an automatic withdrawl so you get your child support right out of his check.
It's certainly worth a phone call or 2 to your local family court system to find out your options. Bottom line is that he's legally obligated to pay child support until your kids are 18 (sometimes 21 or out of college).
Good luck, big hugs
Cat
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In a childs mind paying means he cares. Enough said. A Judge once told me he couldn't make my ex care, he could make him pay. My sons have asked me several time if their father at least paid child support, so it doesn't matter to them. Children know if a parent drinks. They dont need to know they will always come second to buying a round for the bar. Validate to them that he always takes care fo theri support first.
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Originally Posted by mallowcup
In a childs mind paying means he cares. Enough said. A Judge once told me he couldn't make my ex care, he could make him pay. My sons have asked me several time if their father at least paid child support, so it doesn't matter to them. Children know if a parent drinks. They dont need to know they will always come second to buying a round for the bar. Validate to them that he always takes care fo theri support first.
I am confused are you suggesting Jess lies to her children?
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pmsalan, I took what mallow said as something more like Jessica validating that their kids are more important than that round of beer that G can always manage to pay. By enforcing G to pay child support through the court system, it validates that the kids ARE coming before that round of beer.
Jessica - truly, call your local Job & Family Services and set up an appointment for a Child Support Administrative Hearing. It is the beginning of the process to getting the child support started.
At the Admin. hearing, the two of you will sit down with the Admin. and go over some paperwork and answer questions. You'll be given a break (for about 20 minutes) while they run their guidelines. Then they sit back down with you and go over everything and how they come to the amount they feel is accurate. At this point, you and G will have to sign the papers - either agreeing or disagreeing with what they have come up with. If you agree, the paperwork is filed and the support begins. If you disagree, it is sent to the court and a court date is set for you and G to appear before a magistrate and the magistrate will determine how much support should be. It is here that if you have a lawyer, you will want them present to represent you.
However - I stand from the point of this: If G was willing to pay support on his own, he would have done so and would be doing so. He is not. Therefore, if you want child support, you must start the legal process for it to start. I highly doubt that G is going to wake up one day and just decide to do it.
It's up to you Jessica. Are you willing to accept it as it is and get nothing --- or are you going to step up to the plate and start the process?
Jessica - truly, call your local Job & Family Services and set up an appointment for a Child Support Administrative Hearing. It is the beginning of the process to getting the child support started.
At the Admin. hearing, the two of you will sit down with the Admin. and go over some paperwork and answer questions. You'll be given a break (for about 20 minutes) while they run their guidelines. Then they sit back down with you and go over everything and how they come to the amount they feel is accurate. At this point, you and G will have to sign the papers - either agreeing or disagreeing with what they have come up with. If you agree, the paperwork is filed and the support begins. If you disagree, it is sent to the court and a court date is set for you and G to appear before a magistrate and the magistrate will determine how much support should be. It is here that if you have a lawyer, you will want them present to represent you.
However - I stand from the point of this: If G was willing to pay support on his own, he would have done so and would be doing so. He is not. Therefore, if you want child support, you must start the legal process for it to start. I highly doubt that G is going to wake up one day and just decide to do it.
It's up to you Jessica. Are you willing to accept it as it is and get nothing --- or are you going to step up to the plate and start the process?
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SS....I would have to do this without G sitting down with me. I'm not going to drive myself nuts trying to contact him and then making sure he shows up. Nope....It'll be all me. God give me strength...this is a huge step for me. I'm going to file this week.
Why the he!! should I care about him not having any money? He's living practically free!!! No bills, lives with some other guy, no responsibilities, spending all his money on drugs and alcohol. I'm the one struggling with our kids while he's out smoking it or drinking it. I'm not greedy and I can manage without his money. I think I'm just a little pee'd b/c his public defender said he "voluntarily" pays child support. All I can say is what a f__ing liar!!!!! We'll see what voluntarily means!!!!!! He may have lied a lot to me in the past...but this one takes the cake. If he want's to pretend he pays child support, he might as well do it! I'm not going to defend his blantant lie.
just a thought....I hope this don't lead to him saying "I pay child support, I can have the kids whenever I want". OH NO....mama will not have any of that!!!!!!! I think it's going to get ugly. Should I not anticipate what the future will bring? I mean, its very possible he'll just disappear from our lives. haha lol fingerscrossed
Why the he!! should I care about him not having any money? He's living practically free!!! No bills, lives with some other guy, no responsibilities, spending all his money on drugs and alcohol. I'm the one struggling with our kids while he's out smoking it or drinking it. I'm not greedy and I can manage without his money. I think I'm just a little pee'd b/c his public defender said he "voluntarily" pays child support. All I can say is what a f__ing liar!!!!! We'll see what voluntarily means!!!!!! He may have lied a lot to me in the past...but this one takes the cake. If he want's to pretend he pays child support, he might as well do it! I'm not going to defend his blantant lie.
just a thought....I hope this don't lead to him saying "I pay child support, I can have the kids whenever I want". OH NO....mama will not have any of that!!!!!!! I think it's going to get ugly. Should I not anticipate what the future will bring? I mean, its very possible he'll just disappear from our lives. haha lol fingerscrossed
Last edited by JessicaNAJ; 09-03-2006 at 10:05 PM.
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SS....I would have to do this without G sitting down with me. I'm not going to drive myself nuts trying to contact him and then making sure he shows up. Nope....It'll be all me. God give me strength...this is a huge step for me. I'm going to file this week.
Jessica - truly, call your local Job & Family Services and set up an appointment for a Child Support Administrative Hearing. It is the beginning of the process to getting the child support started.
At the Admin. hearing, the two of you will sit down with the Admin.
At the Admin. hearing, the two of you will sit down with the Admin.
Anyways...just wanted to clarify what I meant as I thought you took it as my saying that you and G just sit down together and figure it out on your own.
Good luck Jessica - truly, I wish you the best.
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