nina8

hello everyone, i've just registered. I needed someone to talk to about my problem. i'm living with an addict who has turned back to his bad habits. i've been with him for 17 years and its really taking a toll on me. I don't know how to be patient anymore with this. It seems like I am getting to be too old to be going through this once again in my life. We also have an eight year old that really loves her daddy. I can't even tell him to leave without her hating me for it. She doesn't know whats going on because we don't talk about it in detail in front of her. She just thinks mommy is being mean and what i'm really trying to do is protect her from all this. What can I do? I hate coming home after work every night and know what he's is doing in the bathroom. I want to be away from it. I feel like i'm in jail in my own home. I really hate this, and whats worse is he's on a major binge. He lost his job 3 weeks ago and this what he does all day. He did join a meth program 2 weeks ago but with the kind of drug he's is doing I'm not sure if it helps. Shouldn't he have been progressing by now if it was helping? If anyone has any input please let me know. I have no one to talk to about this because I hide it from the rest of my family, they don't even know this is going on.

regrad

there is no easy way to deal with this...

i can only speak for the addicts point of view...but i think setting some absolute boundaries (no being high around me, our daughter, in the house, etc.)

be honest with your daughter (my wife was with my children and now I have a responsibility to work it out with them) this is not your fault -- you must decide now "what is being supportive" and "what will be enabling"

another thought is...he WILL lie (it goes with the turf) so if you are up for it (keeping him around) address the TRUST issue...

there is no good ending in meth if it continues...but he won't change unless he wants to...you have a responsibilty to keep yourself and daugter out of harms way...

stay in touch

love and support

J.

Anna

I hope you will focus on taking care of yourself and your daughter at this time and do whatever you need to do to look after yourselves.

If you like, you might check out the NarAnon forum on SR where there are lots of people in similar situations.

miss communicat

Hi Nina8 and Welcome!

I noticed we are neighbors. I live almost in the next town from you! Anyway, I really am sorry you are in this tough situation but its important that you do take care and be safe for you and your daughter. There is no reason to feel like you are in jail.

There is alot of excellent wisdom over on the "Friends and Family"/"Nar-Anon" boards. I would repost this over there and see what suggestions you are offered.

Basically, though, something's gotta change, right? You need lots of support in this, and you have mine! Feel free to PM me if you want and I am happy to chat. Honestly.

Lazurus

Hey, my first post here. Been going to AA for about 2 weeks, still drinking though. Going to cold turkey it the day after Labor day. Gotta go to a cookout, say goodbye to some folks I won't be able to hang with for a while. I'm 46 and been drinking for 30 years. last 15 heavy. God and the AA program have given me the strength I never had before. For those of you who have been clean or sober for a while I admire your courage.

StrongR2Day

Hi Lazurus, and welcome to SR.

Can you move or copy your post into your own thread? It will get much more attention that way.

At least your attending AA and have a plan. That is terrific.

Lazurus

Nina, if he is that bad off, you may just have to leave him. My Wife divorced me in 93 because of my alcoholism. She gave me time to think it over while we were seperated, but at that time I could'nt give up the booze. 13 more years of heavy drinking and I am just now ready to start the road to recovery. I lost my Wife, I lost my house, my finances are in the toilet. Being that you have been with him as long as you have you know his patterns of behavior. Does'nt sound like he is going to change anytime soon. Do what is right for you and your child.

angelgirl

Hey Nina,,

Great to have you here at SR!! Hope you stick around, and check out all of
SR.. There is alot to offer in terms of support here. Check out all of the different forums if you want, and when you have time. It's really a great place.

Lazurus,

Welcome to SR!! I hope that you will make a new post, and introduce yourself, so people can get to know you!! Please, check out all of SR.. It's really a wonderful place full of support!! We are here for you,, always..Prayers our new friends,
Love,
Becky