Hello! Mother/Wife Seeking Support
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Lafayette OR
Posts: 1
Hello! Mother/Wife Seeking Support
Hello! I am new to this site. In order for you to understand where I'm coming from... I am the mother of a 27 year old drug addict/alcoholic and the wife of a 48 year old alcoholic.
I recently became aware of my son's problems when he ran afoul of the law in late May of this year. He was charged with Felony possession and delivery of a controlled substance. Due to his addiction he lost his job, his apartment and car. He was staying whereever he could. I was unaware of all these things until his arrest in May. I brought him home to our house at that time. He has struggled with his addictions since that time. For awhile he would disappear for a week at a time, return home only to take off again in a few days. For the last week he has been home and free from drugs. He is in process of going through legal proceedings and may get court appointed drug treatment.
As for my husband, until recently, he felt his alcohol consumption was a secret. He has hid the alchohol and sneaks drinks when he thinks I don't know it. His consumption has increased considerably over the last year and with the arrival of my son (his stepson) into our home it has gotten worse. My husband, although he agreed to allow my son to stay with us, seems to resent his very presence. He is of no emotional/mental support whatsoever. Although he had a history of drug abuse in his past and even sold drugs as well when he was in his early twenties, he seems to sit in judgement of my son's situation. Although my husband's addiction has not affected his ability to perform at work - it has had a devastating effect in our home life. His ability to function at home has deteriorated greatly. Yesterday he didn't even eat food all day, choosing to drink instead. I have remained silent about this problem until just this week. I picked up pizza last night and offered him some and he said he wasn't hungry. So I commented to him that drinking seemed to be more important than eating. He hasn't spoken to me since.
Anyway, I don't have any close friends whom I can talk to about these issues and feel very isolated. I am just looking for some support so that I don't feel so alone in dealing with this.
I recently became aware of my son's problems when he ran afoul of the law in late May of this year. He was charged with Felony possession and delivery of a controlled substance. Due to his addiction he lost his job, his apartment and car. He was staying whereever he could. I was unaware of all these things until his arrest in May. I brought him home to our house at that time. He has struggled with his addictions since that time. For awhile he would disappear for a week at a time, return home only to take off again in a few days. For the last week he has been home and free from drugs. He is in process of going through legal proceedings and may get court appointed drug treatment.
As for my husband, until recently, he felt his alcohol consumption was a secret. He has hid the alchohol and sneaks drinks when he thinks I don't know it. His consumption has increased considerably over the last year and with the arrival of my son (his stepson) into our home it has gotten worse. My husband, although he agreed to allow my son to stay with us, seems to resent his very presence. He is of no emotional/mental support whatsoever. Although he had a history of drug abuse in his past and even sold drugs as well when he was in his early twenties, he seems to sit in judgement of my son's situation. Although my husband's addiction has not affected his ability to perform at work - it has had a devastating effect in our home life. His ability to function at home has deteriorated greatly. Yesterday he didn't even eat food all day, choosing to drink instead. I have remained silent about this problem until just this week. I picked up pizza last night and offered him some and he said he wasn't hungry. So I commented to him that drinking seemed to be more important than eating. He hasn't spoken to me since.
Anyway, I don't have any close friends whom I can talk to about these issues and feel very isolated. I am just looking for some support so that I don't feel so alone in dealing with this.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,494
Hi and Welcome,
I am sorry for the problems you are having with your husband and your son. I hope that you are taking time to look after yourself and do what you need to do to be at peace.
If you like, you might check out the Friends and Families Forum on this board where you'll find others in situations similar to yours.
I am sorry for the problems you are having with your husband and your son. I hope that you are taking time to look after yourself and do what you need to do to be at peace.
If you like, you might check out the Friends and Families Forum on this board where you'll find others in situations similar to yours.
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Hi Justonevoice, Welcome to SR. I'm glad you found your way over to the friends and family section. You may want to copy and paste your post over there too. There are lots of spouses and moms facing similar situations and we all benefit from the caring and support we get here.
Take a look around in the friends and family forum. At the top of the page you will see some posts (stickies) organized by subjects that are helpful reading in leanring to deal with how drug and alcohol use by those you love impacts you. I'm so sorry for the pain you are feeling, but glad that you found a place where you can share your experience with others like you.
Lots of hugs
Take a look around in the friends and family forum. At the top of the page you will see some posts (stickies) organized by subjects that are helpful reading in leanring to deal with how drug and alcohol use by those you love impacts you. I'm so sorry for the pain you are feeling, but glad that you found a place where you can share your experience with others like you.
Lots of hugs
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: windsor, ontario, canada
Posts: 201
hi just, sorry ur life seems so dificult. u have come to a good place and try to remember that these things arent ur fault. dont be quick to blame urself. read the other forums and go from there,
mertyl
mertyl
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