Not yet sober......
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: atlanta,ga
Posts: 3
Not yet sober......
Greetings,
I am writing to you all because I am in the process of accepting the fact that I AM AN ALCOHOLIC....oh my God I finally said it, to people I do not even know....now what? I am sooooo scared/embarassed/ashamed/clueless. This is not supposed to be me, what do I do? Where do I go, I am terrified to tell anyone. I do not want to live like this anymore, yet I am drinking as I type this to you all, the shame is unbearable, so i drink and drink, and drink.....
I am writing to you all because I am in the process of accepting the fact that I AM AN ALCOHOLIC....oh my God I finally said it, to people I do not even know....now what? I am sooooo scared/embarassed/ashamed/clueless. This is not supposed to be me, what do I do? Where do I go, I am terrified to tell anyone. I do not want to live like this anymore, yet I am drinking as I type this to you all, the shame is unbearable, so i drink and drink, and drink.....
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 859
Welcome To SR!!!!!
Please check out all of the forums and do some reading, there is a ton of info!
Also, keep posting, the support is awesome!!!!
Congrats on taking the first HUGE step toward recovery!!!
Liss
Please check out all of the forums and do some reading, there is a ton of info!
Also, keep posting, the support is awesome!!!!
Congrats on taking the first HUGE step toward recovery!!!
Liss
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: on a journey to nirvana
Posts: 142
Hello chellet98,
I understand exactly where you're coming from. I just joined too. I made it four days, blew it and now I'm on day 2. I've been hiding it, trying not to be it, but I'm missing out with my young daughters and not being the best mom I can be. You've made a huge step finding SR on-line. I still haven't the courage to find an AA meeting.....it's like that would be screaming it to the world. So as one alcoholic friend to another, we can do this; we're good people and today is a new day. The only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.
Fred
I understand exactly where you're coming from. I just joined too. I made it four days, blew it and now I'm on day 2. I've been hiding it, trying not to be it, but I'm missing out with my young daughters and not being the best mom I can be. You've made a huge step finding SR on-line. I still haven't the courage to find an AA meeting.....it's like that would be screaming it to the world. So as one alcoholic friend to another, we can do this; we're good people and today is a new day. The only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.
Fred
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Hi chellet and welcome to Sober Recovery.
My name is Sharon and Im an alcoholic. By the grace of my HP and people like you in these rooms, I havent had a drink of alcohol since 8-11-90. For that I am truely grateful.
You have taken a small step in admitting that u r an alcoholic. I like many have taken that first step some time in our lives.
We all have to crawl before we can walk. So take it slowly. When i got sober back when, it was my family who did for me what i couldnt do for myself. I was too far gone to realize that alcohol was destoying me day by day. I tried so often to quit on my own with no luck. I honestly tried.
But later on I learned that Alcohol is CUNNING, BAFFLING AND POWERFUL and can strike at anytime.
There will many suggestion to will hear in AA. For me I took those suggestions seriously as my life depended on them.
I spent my first 28 days in rehab after i had attempted to end my life. I guess it wasnt my time to go yet as I entered rehab and recieved the tools and knowledge of recovery and how to stay sober one day at a time.
Since u r new...the first suggestion would be....to locate an AA meeting nearby by looking in the phone book for a number or if u know someone in recovery, call them.
If u have that DESIRE to get sober and the WILLINGNESS to go to any lengths....then take that first step thru the doors of AA. They have these wonderful CHIPs you pick up beginning with a 24 hour or Desire Chip.
Ask for one....they will gladly hand it to u.
Then share with them that u r new and i would ask for a meeting book. That way u will know the times and places where ur meetings are.
They will suggest 90 meetings in 90 days. That may sound like a tall order...but if u are willing to go to any lengths..then try it for 90 in 90 and if u dont hear or like what they say, they will gladly refund ur misery....this is what i heard many many times at each meeting i went to.
Ask for a Big Book and a Step Book...These 2 books have all the answers to helping u stay sober. There r also meetings for both to help u and guide u as u begin ur journey sober.....
This still may seem over whelming....i certainly felt that way....but then i learned that all we have is TODAY. Yesterday is gone...u cant bring it back....and tomorrow hasnt gotten here yet.....So staying in today is a lot easier to handle in staying sober.
Find u someone u feel comfortable talking to. Someone u can call if u feel like drinking.
Then heres the BIGGIE ..... To get rid of all the alcohol in ur home.....It was suggested to me that when i got sober, i would have to CHANGE....PEOPLE, PLACES AND THINGS THAT WOULD REMIND ME OF ALCOHOL....
So while i was in rehab, my family took all the alcohol out of the house. Glasses, bottles anything that would make me drink.
No more clubs....no more of those so call friends that drank in those clubs....
they say this is a selfish program....well it is.....it's about u right now....taking care of whats important to u....and thats not to drink TODAY.
Ok..ill end here and others im sure will be along shortly to share their own experiences, strengths and hopes with u as u begin ur sober journey into recovery.
Thanks for letting me share.
My name is Sharon and Im an alcoholic. By the grace of my HP and people like you in these rooms, I havent had a drink of alcohol since 8-11-90. For that I am truely grateful.
You have taken a small step in admitting that u r an alcoholic. I like many have taken that first step some time in our lives.
We all have to crawl before we can walk. So take it slowly. When i got sober back when, it was my family who did for me what i couldnt do for myself. I was too far gone to realize that alcohol was destoying me day by day. I tried so often to quit on my own with no luck. I honestly tried.
But later on I learned that Alcohol is CUNNING, BAFFLING AND POWERFUL and can strike at anytime.
There will many suggestion to will hear in AA. For me I took those suggestions seriously as my life depended on them.
I spent my first 28 days in rehab after i had attempted to end my life. I guess it wasnt my time to go yet as I entered rehab and recieved the tools and knowledge of recovery and how to stay sober one day at a time.
Since u r new...the first suggestion would be....to locate an AA meeting nearby by looking in the phone book for a number or if u know someone in recovery, call them.
If u have that DESIRE to get sober and the WILLINGNESS to go to any lengths....then take that first step thru the doors of AA. They have these wonderful CHIPs you pick up beginning with a 24 hour or Desire Chip.
Ask for one....they will gladly hand it to u.
Then share with them that u r new and i would ask for a meeting book. That way u will know the times and places where ur meetings are.
They will suggest 90 meetings in 90 days. That may sound like a tall order...but if u are willing to go to any lengths..then try it for 90 in 90 and if u dont hear or like what they say, they will gladly refund ur misery....this is what i heard many many times at each meeting i went to.
Ask for a Big Book and a Step Book...These 2 books have all the answers to helping u stay sober. There r also meetings for both to help u and guide u as u begin ur journey sober.....
This still may seem over whelming....i certainly felt that way....but then i learned that all we have is TODAY. Yesterday is gone...u cant bring it back....and tomorrow hasnt gotten here yet.....So staying in today is a lot easier to handle in staying sober.
Find u someone u feel comfortable talking to. Someone u can call if u feel like drinking.
Then heres the BIGGIE ..... To get rid of all the alcohol in ur home.....It was suggested to me that when i got sober, i would have to CHANGE....PEOPLE, PLACES AND THINGS THAT WOULD REMIND ME OF ALCOHOL....
So while i was in rehab, my family took all the alcohol out of the house. Glasses, bottles anything that would make me drink.
No more clubs....no more of those so call friends that drank in those clubs....
they say this is a selfish program....well it is.....it's about u right now....taking care of whats important to u....and thats not to drink TODAY.
Ok..ill end here and others im sure will be along shortly to share their own experiences, strengths and hopes with u as u begin ur sober journey into recovery.
Thanks for letting me share.
~ 5 ~
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Colorado
Posts: 305
Hi chellet you have taken a big step in a great direction.
Try yelling it at your monitor, i yelled it out my front door yesterday and OMG It felt awesome.......It will give you a feeling of power over alcohol.
Try it
Originally Posted by Fred
.....it's like that would be screaming it to the world.
Try it
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,509
Hi Chellet,
I understand the shame and embarassment you are feeling, and I got into that cycle too, where the shame resulted in me drinking again and again.
Just try to step out of the cycle and stop drinking now. You can do this and there's lots of support and information here to help.
I understand the shame and embarassment you are feeling, and I got into that cycle too, where the shame resulted in me drinking again and again.
Just try to step out of the cycle and stop drinking now. You can do this and there's lots of support and information here to help.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 527
Hi Chellet and welcome,
You have taken the first step by finding this place and by posting. Don't go away. When you are ready, you will put that drink down and never pick it up again. It is a struggle. I know, I'm still struggling too---but each day that passes I am gaining strength and more determination to not drink, as I realize how drinking has changed everything in my life: my health, my relationship with my kids, my marriage, friendship, everything. But the future belongs to me and I will see it and live it and love it truthfully and clearly, not distorted in an alcoholic haze.
I wish you the very same.
Hugs,
Candy Scratch
You have taken the first step by finding this place and by posting. Don't go away. When you are ready, you will put that drink down and never pick it up again. It is a struggle. I know, I'm still struggling too---but each day that passes I am gaining strength and more determination to not drink, as I realize how drinking has changed everything in my life: my health, my relationship with my kids, my marriage, friendship, everything. But the future belongs to me and I will see it and live it and love it truthfully and clearly, not distorted in an alcoholic haze.
I wish you the very same.
Hugs,
Candy Scratch
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: road to recovery
Posts: 1,689
welcome! you are with us. we all are taking it one day at a time! you've taken the first step by admitting you are an alcoholic! i still have trouble saying that and i'm about 31 days ahead of you!
read all you can about this disease, go to some aa meetings, start changing your routines, exercise, keep visiting here...it all helps! you can do it!
read all you can about this disease, go to some aa meetings, start changing your routines, exercise, keep visiting here...it all helps! you can do it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: atlanta,ga
Posts: 3
This forum is a God send, I am sitting here in tears in the fact that you people dont even know me and the support is there, Why am I so afraid? Well since my last note earlier today I poured out the remainder of my gin...and I am already thinking about it, but @ least it is not here and I have no extra $ to get more. I feel physically feel awful from drinking earlier today
. I am on the net now searching for meetings in the Atlanta area (which I am terrified to attend). The ironic part is, I am a nurse and I used to attend the AA meetings while I was in nursing school and think....how do people get here, I guess now I know! I am not ready to talk to family/friends yet so stay tuned for more of me because right now this forum is all I have.
Thank you my fellow friends!
. I am on the net now searching for meetings in the Atlanta area (which I am terrified to attend). The ironic part is, I am a nurse and I used to attend the AA meetings while I was in nursing school and think....how do people get here, I guess now I know! I am not ready to talk to family/friends yet so stay tuned for more of me because right now this forum is all I have.Thank you my fellow friends!
~ 5 ~
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Colorado
Posts: 305
Thats great Chellet, and that is what this is here for, i have read so many of these posts and it doesnt matter who you are you are going to get an immense outpour of care and concern this place is awesome.
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
Welcome to SR. I think we all shake out heads and wonder how did this happen to me? This is not supposed to be my life. But it is what it is. You are doing the right thing by coming here and checking into meetings. We all are scared iur first meeting, but the people there will make you feel welcome. After you attend the first time, the mystery will be taken out of it and the fear can be diminished. You are not alone and there is a solution. My best to you...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Did you ever wonder why you were exposed to AA back in Nursing school? Its like me...when i was little i found this Serenity Prayer card in my mom's bible and I took it....she never knew because while she was drinking and physically abusing me, i figured she's NEVER miss it. So here i had this prayer tucked away for years until i enter rehab for alcoholism. Then i was expose to the Serenity Prayer. I began to wonder if finding that card when i was little was a sign of things to come. Sure enough I realized that Prayer would become something sugnifficant in my recovery.
Same with u....u had no idea the sugnifficants of going to those meeting back when would play in ur life today.....and now u know. It was a sign of what was to come for u.
Don't be affraid.....No one ever has to go thru recovery alone. What will happen to u now as u begin ur journey is that u will be armed with the knowledge of what alcoholism and recovery is all about....and how important it will be as u begin to help others just starting out like u.
You like many of us will be an instrument used in ur HP's plan for you.
My soul purpose in life since i got sober is to help others learn to stay sober one day at a time by sharing my own experiences strengths and hopes of what it was like, what happened and how it is now that Im sober.
That is how this program of recovery works. Its a continuous cycle that keeps working. We learn for the old-timers and the newcomers learn from us.
If that makes sense....
So ur life is not over...it's just beginning....its a new way of life for u and many of us.
Hang on tight as we guide u on ur sober way.
Thanks for letting me share.
Same with u....u had no idea the sugnifficants of going to those meeting back when would play in ur life today.....and now u know. It was a sign of what was to come for u.
Don't be affraid.....No one ever has to go thru recovery alone. What will happen to u now as u begin ur journey is that u will be armed with the knowledge of what alcoholism and recovery is all about....and how important it will be as u begin to help others just starting out like u.
You like many of us will be an instrument used in ur HP's plan for you.
My soul purpose in life since i got sober is to help others learn to stay sober one day at a time by sharing my own experiences strengths and hopes of what it was like, what happened and how it is now that Im sober.
That is how this program of recovery works. Its a continuous cycle that keeps working. We learn for the old-timers and the newcomers learn from us.
If that makes sense....
So ur life is not over...it's just beginning....its a new way of life for u and many of us.
Hang on tight as we guide u on ur sober way.
Thanks for letting me share.
Hi amd We;cpme!
Member
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Somewhere there is peace of mind
Posts: 210
Alright! Way to Go! I know there were moments I had to go one minute at a time in the beginning.
Keep busy, busy, busy...you know that whole saying about the idle hands and all.
Glad to know you are checking out meetings, the folks there are just like us, only 3-D.
Keep busy, busy, busy...you know that whole saying about the idle hands and all.
Glad to know you are checking out meetings, the folks there are just like us, only 3-D.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Colorado
Posts: 63
Hi Chellet, and welcome!
Congratulations on taking this huge step. I used to live in Atlanta and there are some great AA meetings there. Just look up the main number and call and ask for one in your area. That will be another big step, but you can do it!
Sending lots of good thoughts your way,
Thorn
Congratulations on taking this huge step. I used to live in Atlanta and there are some great AA meetings there. Just look up the main number and call and ask for one in your area. That will be another big step, but you can do it!
Sending lots of good thoughts your way,
Thorn
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,525
Chellet, you're doing great!
Do you feel relieved to be here and starting in on sobriety? That's the main thing I felt at first--RELIEF. No more letting some liquid in a bottle run my life.
Keep it up--I'm so glad you're sticking around here.
Take care,
Jane
Do you feel relieved to be here and starting in on sobriety? That's the main thing I felt at first--RELIEF. No more letting some liquid in a bottle run my life.
Keep it up--I'm so glad you're sticking around here.
Take care,
Jane
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: on a journey to nirvana
Posts: 142
Hi Chellet,
I hope you're hanging in there! I'm on day 6 after relapsing on day 5 last week. I've got a special party to get thru this coming weekend, but I'll worry about that on Saturday when I get there. For now, I'm just dealing with now....just a moment at a time.
I can tell you that I am beginning to feel better; I'm having more pleasant and relaxing time with my daughters and I'm getting more done at home and at work.
While driving to work this morning, I realized I am happier and having more fun
than I was when I was chugging high alcohol beer or vodka or whatever.
Hang on.....
Fred
I hope you're hanging in there! I'm on day 6 after relapsing on day 5 last week. I've got a special party to get thru this coming weekend, but I'll worry about that on Saturday when I get there. For now, I'm just dealing with now....just a moment at a time.
I can tell you that I am beginning to feel better; I'm having more pleasant and relaxing time with my daughters and I'm getting more done at home and at work.
While driving to work this morning, I realized I am happier and having more fun
than I was when I was chugging high alcohol beer or vodka or whatever.
Hang on.....
Fred
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