what would you do?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 782
what would you do?
a few days ago i took some tramadol, not really knowing what it was, but knowing it was a pain med. In my mind, i wanted to get high, and i took more pills looking for a high but never actually found it. So, i see my counselor yesterday and finally tell her that i "relapsed" and when i told her what i took she says "that's not a relapse" because there's not enough of a narcotic in tramadol to get you high. So, i'm thinking.....great....i don't have to get a white chip, i can still get my 6 month coin in a couple weeks. What would you do? Do you consider this a relapse?
I do consider it a relapse, i got up last night and got my white chip. In my mind i wanted to get high, that's all there is to it. Does it matter what i took if i thought it would alter my mood?
I do consider it a relapse, i got up last night and got my white chip. In my mind i wanted to get high, that's all there is to it. Does it matter what i took if i thought it would alter my mood?
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,499
I'm not an AA person Igfan, but the bottom line is that you knew what your intention was, and that's what mattered. However, in my opinion, you still have 6 sober months where you've lived and learned.
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: The Big Woods
Posts: 521
Hi Igfan,
I read your dog drugs post but couldn't respond, didn't have any words that you didn't already know. Very much an internal decision, which direction YOU choose for yourself. You've been through enough to know what you want and what you don't want. As have I. Understanding why we keep thinking of going that way will provide the key to realizing why we don't have to keep going that way. We won't see it if it's hidden, very good you're open to look at it as you are, without hiding from it. A few weeks after my last drug of choice use I "experimented" with another source, very much in the same vein as you did with the tramadol. Relapse, perhaps. But I figure that since all I got was sick, really really violently sick, I can chalk that one up to "learning experience". Beware of those "alternative" drugs...one never knows how they might physically react. Scary stuff. Do take care of yourself, Igfan.
I read your dog drugs post but couldn't respond, didn't have any words that you didn't already know. Very much an internal decision, which direction YOU choose for yourself. You've been through enough to know what you want and what you don't want. As have I. Understanding why we keep thinking of going that way will provide the key to realizing why we don't have to keep going that way. We won't see it if it's hidden, very good you're open to look at it as you are, without hiding from it. A few weeks after my last drug of choice use I "experimented" with another source, very much in the same vein as you did with the tramadol. Relapse, perhaps. But I figure that since all I got was sick, really really violently sick, I can chalk that one up to "learning experience". Beware of those "alternative" drugs...one never knows how they might physically react. Scary stuff. Do take care of yourself, Igfan.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Newfie-Land, Mo
Posts: 1,623
Tramadol is non narcotic but is addictive......I too never got a high from it but know where you are coming from with the just using it to get high....
I abuse benadryl some nights if I can't sleep.....I know it won't get me high but I still take more than I should ???? My brain willing water to wine or something ???
as for relapsing i do not consider that a do over....I know i am trying to alter my mood but then again...I am not out seeking my drug of choice....which I could do but choose not to, I too am not an AA gal but think it is really up to you ????
Good luck ~~B
I abuse benadryl some nights if I can't sleep.....I know it won't get me high but I still take more than I should ???? My brain willing water to wine or something ???
as for relapsing i do not consider that a do over....I know i am trying to alter my mood but then again...I am not out seeking my drug of choice....which I could do but choose not to, I too am not an AA gal but think it is really up to you ????
Good luck ~~B
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
Originally Posted by igfan
a few days ago i took some tramadol, not really knowing what it was, but knowing it was a pain med. In my mind, i wanted to get high, and i took more pills looking for a high but never actually found it. So, i see my counselor yesterday and finally tell her that i "relapsed" and when i told her what i took she says "that's not a relapse" because there's not enough of a narcotic in tramadol to get you high. So, i'm thinking.....great....i don't have to get a white chip, i can still get my 6 month coin in a couple weeks. What would you do? Do you consider this a relapse?
I do consider it a relapse, i got up last night and got my white chip. In my mind i wanted to get high, that's all there is to it. Does it matter what i took if i thought it would alter my mood?
I do consider it a relapse, i got up last night and got my white chip. In my mind i wanted to get high, that's all there is to it. Does it matter what i took if i thought it would alter my mood?
I think you answered your own question. One day at a time we all move forward in recovery.
Kevin
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