vesco

Hello everyone,

I'm a 37 yr old and have been drinking since I was 13. When I began I only drank at the weekends but by my late teens I would drink a few times per week always to get drunk. This continued until about 5 years ago when I began to drink very heavily. I began to drink vodka and I would say I drink about 20 bottles of vodka per month for the last five years which continues to the present.

I would like to know whether I could be an alcoholic- personally I'm not sure, the thing is my heavy drinking has coincided with the most stressful period of my life so far, so I'm wondering when this stressful period ends maybe I will be able to get my drinking under control- does this sound possible?

Also once in the last five years I managed to stop drinking altogether. From 1st January this year to the 12th February, I did not have a drink. Surely being able to give up alcohol for six weeks like this means I may not be an alcoholic?

Also I have another worry. In the last few months I notice I'm not feeling well on some of the days during the month when I dont have a drink. It isnt a hangover feeling but I seem to have problems catching my breath, some difficulty controlling my breathing- it can be very uncomfortable and scary, maybe hyper-ventilating or maybe a panic attack? Does anyone know what this could be?

Thanks for any advice you can give, all the best

c'est la vie

I came here with the same questions. I stopped drinking for a month and thought controlling my drinking was for me. I didn't think I was an alcoholic, just giving in too often to the stresses of life. I spent 6 month trying to control my drinking and it nearly made me crazy. The obsession was overwhelming. That was my biggest indicator that my brain is not wired for "normal moderate" drinking.

You may want to try that for 6 weeks or longer rather than complete abstinence if you have doubts. That cleared things up for me.

bob123

Greetings vesco and well done for posting. (im 37 too and started around 14)
20 bottles of vodka a month seems an awful lot. Im stating the obvious but that cannot be good for your.. have worked out how many units that is?

Dont personally think you have to label yourself as anything , (although I dont mind
saying "im an alcoholic" when ive been to AA)

The fact that you stopped for a few months may not mean that much. I stopped twice for 3 months and
each time I started again I was immediately back in my drinking pattern

Does sounds like panic,anxiety... but you should see your doc about this. Im on some anti-depressants and they really helped with the severe anxiety, but seeing a psychologist to get things sorted in the long term.

You have nothing to lose by finding some local AA meeting an going down there.. AA is an excellent starting point.. if you find AA is really not your cup of tea you can look at alternatives...see non-sticky, but ever so useful : http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-programs.html

reading and posting on here helps to


Best of luck...

rose petals

hey
the probs you have with breathing etc when you dont drink are alcohol withdrwals--wich will get more horrifying in time --the most horrifying EVER--alcohlism is progressive--this will happen to you--be forewarned-- im sorry for your probs--i tuly am
Laura

NEEDTOBESOBER

Sounds to me like you are having panic attacks , i like you started drinking more heavily over the last 5 years due to stressful situations and than driving home from work one day I had a panic attack, except I did'nt know what it was and I went to the doctor and i was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and panic attacks and i was given medicine, but stress can cause anxiety but alcohol can cause anxiety when you quit drinking, now I dont know which came first , cause once I got the anxiety problem I would drink even more to relieve my anxiety especially if I ran out of medicine, I am not an expert but you probably do have a drinking problem. And rosepetals is right alcoholism is a progressive disease and that is what happened to me and I am 16 days sober now cause I was tired of it and didnt want the diseaese to get worse.

michski

Sounds like a panic attack... they come and go throughout life.
Not sure what's going on within you... Sometimes we just get scared

Candy Scratch

Here is one test you can take to find out. If you Google "alcoholic test" you can get a whole bunch of these to try out to help you decide objectively.

http://www.aa-uk.org.uk/publications/areyou.htm

I am not much one for labels either, but I do know I have a serious issue with alcohol. Drinking this much is not good for a person in any way: mentally, physically, socially. Most people do not drink this much and are able to stop after one or two drinks and not even think about it. I know I think about drinking far too much for it to be normal for me. How about you?

Hugs,
Candy Scratch

leviathon

Ah the old "I'm not an alcoholic b/c"... reality check, if you think you have a problem, you likely do have a problem. Just b/c your situ is still early enough that you can control it, doesn't mean you don't have a problem.

A good analogy I heard,"So you are asking if you are an alcoholic, well let me put it to you this way, if a house burns down in your neighbourhood, do you also ask if you are a pyromaniac?" The point is that if you are asking if you have a problem, you likely do.

Peace, Levi

German69

There is still a difference between a "problem drinker" and an "alcoholic" when it comes to labels. There are far more problem drinkers in the world than there are alcoholics. The only way to find out if one is a problem drinker or an alcoholic is to have a look at the moderation programs and if you are able to truly moderate your drinking by sticking to a safe amount of alcohol on a permanent basis, congratulations, you might just have been a "problem drinker". If you, however, find yourself sneaking in more drinks than you had planned and you can't seem to adhere to your cut-down plan (whether you're under stress or not), you are most likely an alcoholic.
As to your heart problems: They could just be anxiety attacks or they could be serious heart problems. Some long-term heavy drinkers develop a condition called "dilated cardiomyopathy" which means that the toxin alcohol dilated the heart and made it weak. Fortunately, for more than 50% of heavy drinkers this condition is reversible if they abstain from drinking for at least 6 months and then only drink moderately in the future.
Good luck!

Done_With_It

I don't know if your an alcoholic, but 20 bottles a month is ALOT!! That would kill me.

It can't be good for your body and health to drink that much. Your liver has got to be working triple time. Maybe a check up at your doctor would be good?

Welcome to SR, I'm glad your here!

JaySee

Hi Vesco

Your story is very similar to mine. I did six months of being dry, but then told myself I was OK due to this long period of abstinence, but soon as I picked up a drink again I was straight back to serious drinking.

What makes me know I have a problem with booze is what happens to me when I start to drink it. Once I start I don't stop. It would never be two glasses of wine, it would be two bottles, never a couple of vodkas, but a bottle, never a couple of pints (beer), always a gallon.

Try it, just have a couple of vodkas and then no more. See what happens. I would always rationalise and manipulate every thought and situation so I could drink more once I started to drink.

JC

GreenTea

"...When I'm having fun, I'm not drinking normally... When I'm drinking normally, I'm not having fun..."

Drinking to get drunk is a clue.

You didn't mention how big the bottles were, but that seems like a lot. How does it compare to, say, your monthly food bill?

Someone shared in a meeting tonight that as alcoholics, sometimes we "seek out future chaos". Which comes first, the drinking or the stress?

Are you saying that you're currently experiencing a loss of control?

It sounds like you've tried to buy yourself a "free pass" card. Were you "white-knuckling" during those six weeks?

Remember that this is a progressive disease. About eight years ago, I gave up beer for about a year and a half. I didn't really "set a date", it just sort of happened that way. When I picked up again, it didn't take too long for me to fall right back into the old habits again.

Just because I gave it up for a while in the past doesn't mean that I'm not an alcoholic. "Alcoholic" is a condition, not a judgement and not a character flaw. I know people who are alcoholic and they haven't drank for fifteen years.

You have worries concerning your alcohol use? That's another clue.

It sounds like classic PAWS to me -- Protracted Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome -- which is another clue. Check out the book "Under The Influence". It gives a really good description of the physiological side of alcohol use.

In a nutshell, your body has adjusted to functioning "normally" with a given level of alcohol present in your system, (twenty bottles a month administered daily). The "not feeling well" is your body trying to adjust back to functioning without alcohol. The movie "Leaving Las Vegas" portrayed this same syndrome (which is a clear sign of dependence) in its most extreme form.

I'm not tying to pin an "alcoholic" label on you. I'm just trying to give you some things to think about.

Try abstaining for a year, and then see where you're at.

Chy

Try quitting for 30 days straight up... you'll have your own answer.

vesco

Thanks for your help, I will think about your answers and post again in a couple of days, all the best

earlybird

If I absolutely HAD to give an answer,.....Id say, yes. I think you are an alcoholic based on what you have posted. I mean,...think about it.......is it REALLY a tough question?? I mean,...you drink almost CONSTANTLY. You drink to get drunk. And no,....quitting for 6 weeks has nothing to do with being an alcoholic or not. Did you quit using everything including weed, any other kinds of drugs altogether? Are you saying you used no mind altering substances at all for that six weeks? If so,....was it a forced six weeks? What if you were told you werent an alcoholic? What then? Go back to drinking??? Sounds to me like enough turmoil has gone on long enough to prove to you that you cannot EVER drink like normal social drinkers do. Deep down,....you know that you have a problem. What this board thinks is irrelevant.

IV-NV

If you are drinking too heavily, it could be that you are going through a phase. But rest assured if you are waking up with the tremors then you need to seek professional help asap. Just try to attend the AA programs which will help you in fighting this abuse.

vesco

earlybird, I came on here looking for advice, i think thats why the forum was set up?? not to get a lecture from you, go and prat on to someone else- well at least it makes you feel better about yourself, eh? :uzi2:

leviathon

Vesco, regardless of how Early's post bothered you, SR is for people trying to deal with their addictions.

Peace, Levi

Cynay

There is a very good saying in AA/Al-anon ...

Take what you like and leave the rest.

I would suggest that we use that in the forms. If someone is coming here for advise and help they need to know that all opinions will not sit with them well...

Dont take things personally and please refrain from personal attacks.

Anna

Vesco, Please feel free to put Earlybird on Ignore if you don't want to read his posts.

We are here to support you as much as we can.