FallGirl

Today is day 3 for me and I'm feeling really irritable. I've already yelled at the dog, and I find myself talking back to commercials, and things I find annoying on tv.

The biggest thing though, was before he went to work, my husband told me his daughter is coming over this weekend ... ugh! We've never gotten along well anyway, but since she became a teenager (she's 14) it's gotten worse. She has always blamed me for her parents seperating which is BS because they had problems before I came along, but I guess she's got to blame someone, so LUCKY ME!
As you can probably guess, the way I've dealt with this before is to drink beer. I would come downstairs, be polite as possible to her, then go upstairs to drink myself into oblivion. So that isn't an option for me now, and I find it EXTREMELY IRRITATING! I don't know what I'm gonna do, I'm feeling angry, and I just want to disappear this weekend!



FallGirl

mertyl

Kill her (not literally) with niceness. She probably wont know what to do and u will feel better for handling this in a different way without alcohol.

good luck

TexasDawn

Hi Fallgirl!Boy can I relate to the irritability! I went through that for a few weeks. It will get better though, I can promise you that. I don't have much advice for ya, just wanted to remind you to be good to yourself and try not to let yourself get too stressed out because the temptation to drink always seems to increase when we get angry/resentful/irritable, etc. Maybe you could find a polite way to distance yourself a bit this weekend. You could say that you don't feel very good (you feel more tired than normal or whatever) and take extra naps, which I always find helpful. I always consider the "'I'm not feeling all that great" to be a good excuse to get an hour break or so. I mean, it IS true that you are not feeling mentally at your best to handle things right now because you have only a few days of sobriety. The first week is difficult enough, so you don't want to add to your stress level.

Whatever you can do to reward yourself for not drinking this weekend will help you tremendously. Maybe go to a book store Friday night to get out of the house for a bit, get a big latte and a yummy cookie. Or rent one of your favorite movies. (I'm just trying to think of the things that help me).

As for your boyfriend's daughter, I wouldn't worry too much about her opinion or her attitude toward you right now. My parents got divorced when I was a teenager and for awhile I'm sure that I had some anger inside that came out every now and then (ahem.........understatement!)

Be good to yourself!

Come here to post at SR too and let us know how you are doing. There are some wonderful people here who give lots of support and encouragement. Don't forget to ask God (or your Higher Power) for lots of extra grace this weekend.

scootinbabe

Want to do a primal scream together? I'm irritated myself right now. One rainy day, several little kids cooped up all day, and my patience is wearing thin about now...

Sorry you have to take on the stepdaughter as well as the sobriety. Hang in there and come vent to us!

I've watched most of my nieces grow up and, I'll tell ya, they morph into something really ugly for several years. They emerge at age 18 or 19 and turn into lovely women. But 14--poised on the brink of craziness...yikes! But with sympathy to her, would you ever want to be 14 again? I would never want to go there myself. Woo baby, that's when I had my first serious boyfriend (guess where that led) and my first exposure to alcohol. Crazy times. It's the second toddlerhood where all boundaries are tested.

The good thing is, she'll probably turn on her parents and not you--well, at least not as much. (That's also the beauty of being an aunt ;-)

What does she like to do? Think about taking her out alone for a few hours. Chances are, if you surprise her and take her out to something she'd like, she'll fall over. Get pedicures together. Go see "John Tucker Must Die" or "The Devil Wears Prada" movie. Or go to a concert or baseball game. Why not? It's better than hiding in your room with a six-pack (I think?). Ya gotta face that bull sometime, so why not this weekend? Besides, that lawn guy from Desperate Housewives is a hottie!

Keep coming back and let us know how it's going. And way to go on your promise to yourself about not drinking!

Candy Scratch

Boy, I can sure relate to the irritability that comes with not drinking. I'm having a few bouts of it myself. I keep taking showers. It's so nice to just let the water rain down all over me and it makes me calm. Come to think of it, swimming does that for me too, so maybe it's just the soothing waters in general.

My other suggestions would be to drink a calming herbal tea (like maybe chamomile?), take a walk or run or bike ride...Or go to a movie or read a great book - anything to take you away from it all.

I'm sorry you don't get along with your husband's daughter. I think 14-year-olds often act this way and her hostility may not necessarily be aimed at you, but at the whole world to varying extents.

I really hope you feel better. Hang in there.

Hugs,
Candy Scratch

Anna

I went through a long period of irritability when I stopped drinking. Everything annoyed me. The only thing I can say, is that, the more you deal with without drinking, the better and easier it gets. You get better at handling your feelings.