Lollipop

Yup, Im drinkin...........so shoot me......... (go ahead, everyone else has.............I do not care.....)

My best friend in the world DIED today, at 9:45 am......... I was headed out to sit with him. He had cancer, yup it was bad, yup we knew this was comin.... he was down to 90 pounds, he was weak he was .........well he was just plain scarey.......BUT he was comin back, the doc said he was doin well and there is this new chemo that would be less invasive on his body but would do so much.........If not total recovery, a chance to do what he wanted "before"

Mannnnn........ we were going to the grand canyon, AZ here we come........plane, car........it didnt matter, just last week we talked about it........soooooooooooo much fun and something Kurt wanted to do before he died.............so much for that.........

I am so pissed.......at the world, God (if you will, I dont believe but thats another chapter) The docs for making empty promises, (maybe they didnt but it SURE seems like it) my friends, the docs that had my number ............ it doesnt matter............. they ALL SUCK!!!!!!!

Im sure I will wake up tomorrow and feel the pain and anguish of slipping and screwing up but yanno what????!!!! I look forward to that headache, I look forward to being sick and wasting the day!!!!!!!!

HERE IS TO MY BEST FRIEND AND MY INSPIRATION
KURT KLEUMPER
I LOVE YOU SWEETIE AND I MISS YOU!!!!! I HATE LIFE WITHOUT YOU AND I NEED TO LEARN!!!!! BE AT PEACE MY FRIEND!!!!!!!! I AM ON YOUR SHOULDER....EVERY STEP OF THE WAY!!!!!

best

So sorry to read of your loss.

As for the drinking...tomorrow is another day.

Today you are hurting and I truly feel your pain. It is never easy when a friend leaves us in such a way.

*HUG*

Dreamz

I'm really sorry that you have to go through that. I can't even imagine what it would be like to lose a best friend. I am currently losing my grandfather - to cancer. Its hard seeing him get weaker and weaker and I don't know how any of us will get through it, I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

I hope you're ok - if you need to talk, or want to vent, and hate the world - just let me know. I'm a good listener

Smyle

sorry liss...and yes you have every right to be mad and vent.....

take care and i am truly sorry for you loss...

i am on your shoulder.....tonight and always !!!!

Lizrox

I am so sorry for your loss...

Please remember that this frigg---n awful, pitiful disgusting disease thats infests our brains is deadly; just like cancer....

Again I am soooo sorry for your loss...

((((((HUGS))))))))

Liz

Anna

I'm sorry for your loss Liss.

I do hope you feel better tomorrow!

Hope

(((Liss))) sweetie, I'm so sorry!!

You can vent all you want. We're here for you!

I wish I was there to give you a huge hug in person. I'm thinking of you
during this difficult time.

NYCGirl

Hey Lizz,

Wow, really sorry to hear you lost your friend, I could tell by your posts how close you were. You deserve to be angry at the whole world right now. Take one day at time and let your emotions grieve.

Stay here with us no matter what, you have a good heart and it will lead you down the right path. Stay strong if you can and lean on us if you need.

Love,
Barb


(((((((Lizz))))))))

Candy Scratch

Your post brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry, for Kurt, for you, Lollipop, for the horrible disease that takes so many. Sending you peace and love from the bottom of my heart.

Candy Scratch

CarolD

I once broke my sobriety when a dear friend died in my
apartment of a sudden heart attack.

I was asleep and did not wake.
After calling the police..
I drank the last of a bottle he had brought over.

3 days later...I restarted my sobriety at Day 1.

I am sooo sorry for your pain.

disorderlydamie

I just wanted to say, that it is at these moments, when we must hang on to our recovery for dear life. Even when a newcomer, we never ever EVER have to use again, NO MATTER WHAT. That includes deaths of loved ones, ending of relationships, anything. NO MATTER WHAT. I am so sorry for your loss, and saddened by the fact that you felt you had to use.
There are many people who have walked through these times clean, for even when we relapse over such an event, we might not get to make it back. Our funeral could be the next.
I send you much love and know you are not alone.

big ups,
an addict named cass

cmc

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend, Kurt. Times like these are so hard, I have lost some dear ones too. Please know that you will be in my thoughts and that we are all here for you no matter what- no matter what.
(((hugs))))

leviathon

I felt exactly this way when my father shot himself this past year. It was brutal. Unlike you I did not have the presence of mind to acknowledge my pain. It took a real bottom out for me to finally accept all the pain and decide to change. I pray that will not happen to you too.

Peace, Levi

BigSis

Lollipop... you are in my prayers. Please accept my condolences for the loss of your very good friend. Grief is the hardest of all things I've ever had to endure. Each of us gets through it however we can.

No judgements, just lots of love.

((((Lollipop))))

2dayzmuse

(((...)))

Dom

Lots of love from me Liss. Hope you feel better tomorrow.

lulu70

(((Liss))) Thinking of you........

MNGirlyGirl

((((Lollipop))))

Zoro

Liss my friend

I CARE!!
Im so sorry for your loss, I cant find the words.

You have helped me more than u know, encouraging. I will be right here for you. And I'm not the only one ok? Please be kind to yourself.

Jupiter2

I'm sorry you have to go through this lollipop,

Know that there are a lot of people here pulling for you and a lot of us have been there too. Come back into the light of sobriety.

We need each other to stay sober and find meaning in life.

Jup.