I'm not crazy, I have PTSD
 

That's what I thought to myself when it clicked that there was a real reason for my skewed views of the world.

I still struggle, even with medication. Like right now, in order to avoid the anxiety facing me this week, I've sort of pressed pause and I'm sitting here, doing nothing to move toward my goal...

I feel like I have to take care of myself or I'll lose it. Who knows if I really will, that's just a gut reaction.

Anyway, my biggest concern right now is starting a new relationship. How not to let all of those fears/anxieties negatively impact the guy.

If anyone has any personal stories to share, they'd be appreciated!

Hope you are well.

-sarah

Just got back from vacation. I saw your post and wanted to welcome you. I'm tired and will share more Monday. You are in the right place. The best plan is to take care of you. The "GUY" will deal with his role. You can't adjust yourself or change in order to protect someone else. Many times we don't really know who we are ourselves. Out PTSD has developed behavior and thought patterns that deceive us. There is a chance that in recovery, this guy might not be what the new Sarah wants. I'd suggest again, that you work on you and let the relationship take it's course. Honesty is best, trying to cover or bury things for the sake of a relationship, many times got us where we are now. I became two people. The one I presented to others and the one that knew what happened and my behavior. Trying to hide one from the other was a full time job. leaving no time for my recovery. Again, Welcome.

Yes, Don is right about all the things that he said. Make sure that you try to be as honest as you can with yourself - and who ever your new partner would be. There were a few of guys that knew what was going on with me - or what had happened in my past. Some understood and some didn't really care. The guy that I'm with now has been very supportive. I've been with him for a little over 3 years and we've explored what's going on up there together - he's helped me realize a lot of things about myself. However, there was a lot that I had to learn all by myself.
Having the right kind of guy around really helps. But it can get in the way too.
Best of luck to you either way! Oh and excuse me...
welcome NewGirl30!

Be careful.. take it easy...you don't have to jump into anything.... it's not a race!