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Old 12-04-2002, 10:18 PM
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Morning glory T

morning glory,'
Your Christmas decorations are really cute. Thanks.

Im mortified at what is happening at the cottage Jared is in. He was told that if he didnt behave then he would have to go to the juvinule detention center here. He was then told that they would think he is a baby so they would do sexual things to him. Now he is having flashbacks, now I am having flashbacks. I am discusted.
I will be calling his therapist 1st thing tomorrow. I am livid. I know I wont be able to sleep tonight and will fall into the old pattern of crying and getting hysterical.

They also took information from his file and ridiculed him in a group session about past behaviors (aggression). i wont go into detail because whats the point. I feel SICK.

This hospital has always been professional and consistant. This cottage is not. Its like the staff has a clique and picks and chooses the children they like. I would pull him out now if I could.
I feel SICK,SICK, and SICKER.

I never thought I would be in this space again . After all that therapy all it takes is some stupid staff who think they know better to put me and Jared back 100 paces. She needs to shut her stupid mouth and do her job. Shes not paid to have an opinion. They are even talking about his therapist behind his back and using that against Jared.

They have taken him off the thorizine so he is having even more auditory hallucinations. Its a huge mess and I dont want to cry anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope all is well with you
Blessings,
Sidney
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Old 12-04-2002, 10:22 PM
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Sidney,

That's horrible. I would feel the same way you do. I don't know what to say. I would talk to the highest person at the hospital. I would make an abuse report to the lisencing agency.

Stir up some ****!!!

There is so much abuse with this population.

Raise Hell!!!!!!

Hugs,
MG
 
Old 12-04-2002, 10:25 PM
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MGs Patience

I can feel myself loosing it. Why should they believe him??They will just say he made it up but hes not capable of making stuff up.
I hate being angry because then all I can do is cry and become hysterical and then get sick. I can feel all the old stuff coming back.

Sidney
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Old 12-04-2002, 10:34 PM
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Sidney,

It doesn't matter if they believe him. If you cause some problems over this they will be more careful. You have power to do something. You aren't helpless in this situation. You won't fall apart if you feel like you have some control. Find out who the advocates are and call them. They will do the fighting for you.

I look at what Mistee just went through and is going through. She gained control by taking action. You can too. I know there must be a client advocate. Call your mental health association tomorrow and get some answers.

I know there is abuse in this field. They won't mess with Jared if you get the right official involved.

You can do this.

Hugs,
MG
 
Old 12-04-2002, 10:39 PM
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MGs Patience

mg,
Im not sure where to turn to. I know who the administer of the hospital is but hesitate to go that far unless i am willing to just bring him home. Im confused and angry. If I had my way I would just quit my job, buy a stun gun and take care of him myself. Im just so angry that they brought all this garbage to the surface for both him and me.
Thanks.

I know I wont sleep tonight, Its going to be a bad one I can feel it and Im afraid to feel the emotions.

Sidney
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Old 12-04-2002, 10:43 PM
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I am going to try to find the advocate on the internet. If I find anything I'll post the numbers here.

You can solve this without bringing him home. You can't do it alone. Let me see what I can find, ok?

Jared will be ok tonight. You can sleep. It won't help him if you stay awake and worry.

It seems overwhelming right now, but it's going to be ok.

Hugs,
MG
 
Old 12-04-2002, 10:53 PM
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MGs Patience

Mg,
Its my own pain Im afraid of. I took a klonapin so i hope it knocks me out because I just cant do one more night of emotional torment. I am at my limit. Im tired of other people making my life even harder than it already is out of their own stupidy, and thinking they know everything and they dont know s**t.
I havnt a clue how to find and advocat so fast. I know Jared does have an attorney there. I think I will check into that. I dont know who it is but I know he has one.

Thanks,
I wont bug you anymore tonight. Dont go to any trouble now. I had forgotten about the attorney until now. I dont want to take up your time if I can figure it out myself. I will save your resources for when I have none. I feel a little better, a tad bit. I know you are busy, but not unwilling to help and I dont want to wear you out with my own mess.

You were there for me tonight when I really needed someone badly. I will touch base with you tomorrow and will try to reach his attorney. I thank you again.

Sidney
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Old 12-04-2002, 10:55 PM
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Good Idea Sidney,

Let me know what you find out tomorrow.

Try to get some rest.

Hugs,
MG
 
Old 12-04-2002, 11:05 PM
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State Mental Health Agency
For more information about admission, care, treatment, release, and patient follow-up in public or private psychiatric residential facilities, contact your State mental health agency:

Mary Schumacher, Director
Behavioral Health Services Division
P.O. Box 26110
1190 Saint Francis Drive, Room North 3300
Santa Fe, NM 87502-6110
Phone: 505-827-2658
Fax: 505-827-0097
Consumer Hotline: 800-362-2013
Internet: www.health.state.nm.us
 
Old 12-04-2002, 11:09 PM
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MGs Patience

MG,
You are too much! Thank you.

Best (and hugs too)
Sidney

PS. i wish he could just be in your center.
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Old 12-04-2002, 11:09 PM
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State Protection and Advocacy Agency
Each State has a protection and advocacy agency that receives funding from the Federal Center for Mental Health Services. Agencies are mandated to protect and advocate for the rights of people with mental illnesses and to investigate reports of abuse and neglect in facilities that care for or treat individuals with mental illnesses. These facilities, which may be public or private, include hospitals, nursing homes, community facilities, board and care homes, homeless shelters, jails, and prisons. Agencies provide advocacy services or conduct investigations to address issues that arise during transportation or admission to such facilities, during residency in them, or within 90 days after discharge from them. Contact:

James Jackson, Executive Director
Protection and Advocacy System
1720 Louisiana Boulevard NE, Suite 204
Albuquerque, NM 87110
Phone: 505-256-3100
Fax: 505-256-3184
Toll-free: 800-432-4682 (Statewide)
E-mail: [email protected]
Internet: www.nmprotection-advocacy.com

Advocacy Organizations
The National Mental Health Association maintains a referral and information center and can help you locate local chapters. These local groups have information about community services and engage in national and State level advocacy. For more information about the association, write or call:

National Mental Health Association Information Center
1021 Prince Street
Alexandria, VA 22314-2971
Phone: 703-684-7722
Fax: 703-684-5968
Toll-free: 800-969-6642
TDD: 800-433-5959
E-mail: [email protected]
Internet: www.nmha.org

The National Alliance for the Mentally Ill maintains a helpline for information on mental illnesses and referrals to local groups. The local self-help groups have support and advocacy components and offer education and information about community services for families and individuals. For information about the Alliance's affiliates and activities in your State, contact:

NAMI New Mexico
P.O. Box 3086
Albuquerque, NM 87190-3086
Phone: 505-260-0154
Fax: 505-260-0342
Toll-free: 800-953-6745
E-mail: [email protected]

Statewide consumer organizations are run by and for consumers of mental health services and promote consumer empowerment. These organizations provide information about mental health and other support services at the State level and are active in addressing and advocating for mental health system issues. For information about consumer activities in your area, contact:

Office of Consumer Affairs
Behavioral Health Services Division
1190 Saint Francis Drive, Room North 3300
P.O. Box 26110
Santa Fe, NM 87502-6110
Phone: 505-827-2666
Fax: 505-827-0097
Consumer Hotline: 800-362-2013
Internet: www.health.state.nm.us

The National Mental Health Consumers' Self-Help Clearinghouse, funded partly by the Center for Mental Health Services, promotes and helps to develop consumer-run self-help groups across the country. Technical assistance and materials are available on such topics as organizing groups, fundraising, leadership development, incorporating, public relations, advocacy, and networking. For more information, contact:

The National Mental Health Consumers' Self-Help Clearinghouse
1211 Chestnut Street, Suite 1207
Philadelphia, PA 19107
Phone: 215-751-1810
Fax: 215-636-6312
Toll-free: 800-553-4KEY (539)
Internet: www.mhselfhelp.org

The National Empowerment Center is a Technical Assistance Center run by mental health consumers/survivors. The Center's mission is to carry a message of recovery, empowerment, hope and healing to people who have been diagnosed with mental illness. The Center provides information and referrals to consumer/survivor resources nationwide and offers technical assistance to individuals and groups involved in consumer empowerment activities. The Center distributes recovery-related publications and sponsors education and training activities. For information on consumer/survivor activities in your area, contact:

The National Empowerment Center
599 Canal Street
Lawrence, MA 01840
Toll-free: 800-769-3728
Fax: 978-681-6426
TDD: 800-TTY-POWER (7693)
Internet: www.power2u.org

Other Sources of Information
There are many sources of information that you can tap. Your area mental health authority, which is generally a part of the local government, may be useful. Other branches of your city or county government also may be able to help. For example, the education office might have information about help for children, and the agency for the aging might know about services for senior citizens. In addition, your family physician or area hospital may be able to make referrals. For legal advice, contact your local bar association. Also, your local library and telephone yellow pages may have resource lists for sources of help in your community.
 
Old 12-04-2002, 11:13 PM
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MGs Patience

MG,
When I get to work tomorrow I will print this information up. I dont have a printer at home. Again thanks for your time and resources. you never cease to amaze me thats why I call you "MG's patience". Its my pet name for you.

again thanks, and this time , you get some rest.
Sidney
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Old 12-05-2002, 08:10 PM
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MG

MG,
The crap hit the fan at the hospital today. The person who caused all the problems had to appoligize to Jared. This, however does not fix things. He had a major blow out this morning. I talked to Lewis (therapist) this morning.
Now I am confused. Jared is talking about the abuse that happened to him to some of the staff that he likes. Is this good or bad that he is acting on his flashbacks verbally, that maybe now he is ready to talk about it.
Things are still in an uproar at the hospital, another family has complained and they were already acting on the complaint when I called this morning.
Putting aside the other issues that I want to deal with, accountability of the cottage and the staff member who caused all this what do you think.
I know where I am at, not a good place but I will deal with that. I cant thank you enough for getting me through last night.
I couldnt print the information out like I thought I could but I will just write it down and make some phone calls. I am already a member of NAMI. I am not done with this but really want your opinion on Jareds reaction. Is it good that he is now talking about it or is it bad that the flashbacks have definatly increased today so he feels like he has to talk about it. He is also somewhat psychotic today. They are going to try him on Moban, and older antipsychotic. I newer generation ones dont seem to work at all for him.

Blessings,
Sidney
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Old 12-05-2002, 08:20 PM
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Sidney,

Sometimes it's good to talk and sometimes bad. It all depends if he has the ability to work through it. Some of my clients don't have the ability to work through it so we just let them ignore it. I have a client that was raped by two men last year and the DA did not act on it. I would give anything to call and demand that they prosecute, but I am letting it go because this client doesn't have the ability to work through it. I have other clients that talk about it a lot and we talk and work it through until they feel safe again and know that we are there to advocate for them if they need it.

If you think Jared can understand enough to talk about it and eventually let it go then it's probably good to talk to profesionals that he can trust. That other therapist revictimized him. She should have to do more than apologize. She should not be working in that field.

Hugs,
MG
 
Old 12-05-2002, 09:46 PM
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MG

MG,
She wasnt even a therapist she is just a mental health worker in the cottage. She way oversteped her boundries. The sad thing is that the cottage supervisor was there at the time. I think it has brought up memories he doesnt want to have but now has and he is trying to deal with them.
This person was on staff tonight but not there (on a break I guess) because she knows Im angry at her.
I am not done with this as I said.
I have also delt with Protection and Advocacy before.
For Gods sake , he is psychotic right now. I would push for another cottage but this is the only acute one for his age.
I have to think more about it myself and process. You can tell Ive been in this environment too much) Tomorrow I will be even more aggresive. When I saw him tonight all he would talk about was his major melt down this morning and the fact that he could talk about the abuse. All of a sudden it seems to be an obsession for him to talk about it. I just dont know. Always want your input. I respect you more than most of the "professionals" there.

Sidney
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Old 12-05-2002, 10:00 PM
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Sidney,

The clients I have that have a hard time with it either avoid the subject and don't talk about it or they get stuck on one issue and can't get past it. The girl who was raped blamed the whole thing on her friend who introduced her to the abusers. She could not get past that. It's all she talked about. The only thing we could do was redirect her and change the subject. We tried counseling and a defense class and nothing helped. If he is talking about it and not getting stuck then he should keep talking I think. If he is getting stuck and can't move on then I think redirecting the conversation to something else might help.

Drawing is also a great way to express what is going on. What is his therapist saying about it?
 
Old 12-05-2002, 10:11 PM
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mg

Jared does his journaling with pictures, which was one of the reasons Lewis called me this morning. He had drawn a picture of a Jail or mental hospital and said he would never be able to leave. Lewis suggested he draw a picture of where he might want to live and next to the Jail/mental hospt. he drew an apartment
I guess I wont know for awhile. Its just that he never wanted to talk about the abuse before , obviously this has changed. I will keep tabs on it while I try to figure out the rest of the mess.
I still intend on contacting his attorney.

Sidney
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Old 12-05-2002, 10:25 PM
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From everything you've said I think it's good that he is drawing and talking and getting it out. I hope they also work on getting his anger out in an appropriate way too.

I think he will get past this and it's good that he remembers what happened and didn't block it all out. It always helped me so much to finally talk about things so it wasn't just my big secret. I think this is all a positive sign.

Hugs,
MG
 
Old 12-05-2002, 10:32 PM
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MG

Some of i think is ok. But this morning they put him in seclusion for about an hour and all he did was scream. He couldnt understand why no one would talk to him.. He said he was stuck in his own head (psychotic) and couldnt get out. I will be talking, again, to Lewis about this. He only wanted to talk to someone so he wouldnt go over the edge. The mental health tech told him that his mother said to ignore his screaming. I NEVER said that.
Frustrating.

I will give you a break from me, I dont know how you meet the demands of so many people. Ill talk to you tomorrow and hopefully not take so much of your time.

Sidney,

Thanks for all
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Old 12-05-2002, 10:39 PM
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Sidney,

I'm sorry for all that you and Jared go through. It's heartbreaking for both of you. I hope as he grows older this will all get better.

I'm praying for you both.

Hugs,
MG
 

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