Morning Glory

A Self Assessment Instrument on Self-Destructive Responses to Anger
I engage in the following self-destructive responses, which increase in frequency based on my level of anger. I need to rate each response by circling the degree to which it is true for me.

1 = never true for me

2 = rarely true for me

3 = sometimes true for me

4 = often true for me

5 = almost always true for me


1 2 3 4 5 ( 1) overuse of alcohol

1 2 3 4 5 ( 2) overuse of nonprescription drugs

1 2 3 4 5 ( 3) overuse of prescription drugs

1 2 3 4 5 ( 4) shoplifting

1 2 3 4 5 ( 5) petty theft from my employer

1 2 3 4 5 ( 6) illegal acts of revenge on my enemies

1 2 3 4 5 ( 7) compulsive gambling

1 2 3 4 5 ( 8) compulsive overeating or binging

1 2 3 4 5 ( 9) binging and purging

1 2 3 4 5 ( 10) anorexia

1 2 3 4 5 ( 11) compulsive exercising

1 2 3 4 5 ( 12) compulsive shopping

1 2 3 4 5 ( 13) overuse of credit cards

1 2 3 4 5 ( 14) compulsive drive to acquire material goods

1 2 3 4 5 ( 15) putting myself down in public

1 2 3 4 5 ( 16) setting myself up for failure

1 2 3 4 5 ( 17) unwillingness to play the political survival game on the job

1 2 3 4 5 ( 18) ignoring authority directives

1 2 3 4 5 ( 19) direct disobedience of authority directives

1 2 3 4 5 ( 20) insubordination on the job

1 2 3 4 5 ( 21) arriving late to work or school

1 2 3 4 5 ( 22) excessive absenteeism

1 2 3 4 5 ( 23) playing hooky or skipping required work and/or functions

1 2 3 4 5 ( 24) ignoring personal hygiene

1 2 3 4 5 ( 25) dressing in such a way as to hide my beauty or sexuality

1 2 3 4 5 ( 26) jumping to negative assumptions about motives when people show an interest in me

1 2 3 4 5 ( 27) feeling like a loser even when I wasn't

1 2 3 4 5 ( 28) ignoring the "yes'' messages in my life

1 2 3 4 5 ( 29) workaholism

1 2 3 4 5 ( 30) compulsive need for recognition or approval

1 2 3 4 5 ( 31) need for perfection

1 2 3 4 5 ( 32) compulsive need to look good

1 2 3 4 5 ( 33) fear of taking a risk

1 2 3 4 5 ( 34) unwilling to take a stand

1 2 3 4 5 ( 35) keeping silent; not letting others know how I feel

1 2 3 4 5 ( 36) compulsive sexual acting out

1 2 3 4 5 ( 37) excessive masturbation

1 2 3 4 5 ( 38) participation in aberrant sexual practices

1 2 3 4 5 ( 39) self-pity parties

1 2 3 4 5 ( 40) constant focusing on how awful my life has turned out

1 2 3 4 5 ( 41) inability to find my "pony'' in anything, i.e., chronic pessimism

1 2 3 4 5 ( 42) arguments or fights with people

1 2 3 4 5 ( 43) complaining

1 2 3 4 5 ( 44) holding a grudge; the desire for revenge

1 2 3 4 5 ( 45) having a chip on my shoulder

1 2 3 4 5 ( 46) being overly sensitive to the remarks of others

1 2 3 4 5 ( 47) excessive cleanliness or tidiness

1 2 3 4 5 ( 48) chronic nagging

1 2 3 4 5 ( 49) exaggerated task oriented behavior rather than people oriented

1 2 3 4 5 ( 50) never giving people a chance to be my support

A Self Assessment Instrument on Self-Destructive Responses to Anger - Part 2
I engage in the following self-destructive responses, which increase in frequency based on my level of anger. I need to rate each response by circling the degree to which it is true for me.

1 = never true for me

2 = rarely true for me

3 = sometimes true for me

4 = often true for me

5 = almost always true for me


1 2 3 4 5 ( 51) being a loner

1 2 3 4 5 ( 52) playing it safe when I am with people

1 2 3 4 5 ( 53) avoiding any chance of rejection

1 2 3 4 5 ( 54) rejecting others before they reject me

1 2 3 4 5 ( 55) excessive need for excitement

1 2 3 4 5 ( 56) ``management by crisis'' approach to life

1 2 3 4 5 ( 57) setting up situations to ensure a constant state of crisis

1 2 3 4 5 ( 58) need for the adrenalin ``rush'' I get when solving ``big'' problems

1 2 3 4 5 ( 59) lack of time management skills

1 2 3 4 5 ( 60) procrastination

1 2 3 4 5 ( 61) lack of preventive orientation

1 2 3 4 5 ( 62) holding onto denial of my problems

1 2 3 4 5 ( 63) unwillingness for change to occur

1 2 3 4 5 ( 64) lack of honesty about who I am and how I feel

1 2 3 4 5 ( 65) preferring to lie than the hard work of being honest

1 2 3 4 5 ( 66) unwillingness to trust anyone

1 2 3 4 5 ( 67) close minded to new ideas

1 2 3 4 5 ( 68) obstinate holding on to "the way it was always done'' or 'the way it was''

1 2 3 4 5 ( 69) daydreaming or escaping into fantasy

1 2 3 4 5 ( 70) diverting attention from the issues at hand that need to be dealt with

1 2 3 4 5 ( 71) wearing masks to hide my feelings

1 2 3 4 5 ( 72) ignoring what's good for me and what I need

1 2 3 4 5 ( 73) not applying myself on the job, at home, or in my personal life

1 2 3 4 5 ( 74) giving others the power to intimidate me

1 2 3 4 5 ( 75) unwilling to defend my rights assertively

1 2 3 4 5 ( 76) excessive TV watching

1 2 3 4 5 ( 77) excessive sleeping or napping

1 2 3 4 5 ( 78) excessive involvement in time demanding activities, activities that help me avoid the realities of life

1 2 3 4 5 ( 79) being irresponsible with my life

1 2 3 4 5 ( 80) yoyo dieting (losing and quickly regaining weight)

1 2 3 4 5 ( 81) smoking (legal and/or illegal substances)

1 2 3 4 5 ( 82) eating unbalanced meals

1 2 3 4 5 ( 83) not caring for my health

1 2 3 4 5 ( 84) not wearing seat belts

1 2 3 4 5 ( 85) driving carelessly

1 2 3 4 5 ( 86) driving over the speed limit

1 2 3 4 5 ( 87) engaging in risky or dangerous activities

1 2 3 4 5 ( 88) having suicidal thoughts

1 2 3 4 5 ( 89) acting on suicidal impulses

1 2 3 4 5 ( 90) ignoring the warning signs or symptoms of an illness and not getting proper medical attention

1 2 3 4 5 ( 91) inflicting injury and pain on myself

1 2 3 4 5 ( 92) encouraging or allowing others to abuse me physically, emotionally, verbally, or sexually

1 2 3 4 5 ( 93) not defending myself in the face of a violent attack

1 2 3 4 5 ( 94) lying about my skills or competence in order to get ahead

1 2 3 4 5 ( 95) ignoring my feelings in a relationship

1 2 3 4 5 ( 96) sacrificing myself for the sake of others

1 2 3 4 5 ( 97) allowing others to take advantage of me

1 2 3 4 5 ( 98) putting others first, myself last

1 2 3 4 5 ( 99) allowing myself to be the victim

1 2 3 4 5 (100) not working on my self-growth and self-esteem enhancement program for personal recovery and healing

Morning Glory

What causes me to act self-destructively?
Reasons for my self-destructive behavior include two main areas: holding anger in and inappropriately expressing it.

When I hold my anger in instead of expressing it in a healthy way, I end up acting in self-destructive ways because I:

experience depression

become pessimistic

feel resentment

want to get revenge

end up with a chip on my shoulder

hold grudges

wear masks to hide my feelings

feel bitter and disappointed

feel powerless to get what I need

feel like giving up


When I act out my anger in rage or other impulsive ways, I end up acting in self-destructive ways because I feel:

guilty for my rage

remorse for hurting others

embarrassed by my behavior

disappointed in myself

like a loser or a failure

ignored and unwanted

repentant but un-forgiven for my actions

afraid to let my anger out again

like I should be punished in some way

that my life is not worth living


What are typical characteristics of a self-destructive response to anger?
When I have acted in a self-destructive way regarding anger it is:

almost always at a subconscious level; I'm unaware of the self-destructive nature of my behavior.

defeating my personal growth

a means of sabotaging my growth

often not clearly connected with the object(s) of my anger

something I would usually deny as a response to my anger

a behavior of mine about which I would rather lie than face honestly

often at the root of my resistance to mature change and growth

something I hold onto; I can't let go of it easily

based on my irrational thinking and belief system

often in direct opposition to the values I profess to uphold

a paradox that is hard for me to explain

a habit that has developed over time and is resistant to change

a behavior I saw in my parents and other members of my family of origin

often the behavior that ultimately led me to seek out professional help

something that reduces my self-esteem


What irrational thinking leads to my self-destructive anger responses?
I am a loser, a failure.

No matter what I do things will never change.

This behavior has nothing to do with the way I handle anger.

A little self-pity is just what the doctor ordered.

Being a little self-indulgent is healthy. Anyway it's just this one time.

My life is already a wreck; how could this hurt.

No one will ever like me, want me, or love me for myself.

Everyone is out to get me; I have to accept this fact.

No matter what I do it will never be "good'' enough.

I can't deal with that problem; I'm too ashamed to fact it.

It's better to stuff my anger; it's cosmetic and clean.

Don't bring up a problem from the past if it hurts too much to face it.

I've gone this long without dealing with it, so let sleeping dogs lie.

I'd rather stay to myself than be hurt again.

I have to do it all on my own or it won't be fully corrected.

Unless I can do it perfectly I won't do it at all.

I don't need people to help me with my problems.

It's better not to be too analytical with my own behavior; why create "new'' problems for myself.

What others call self-destructive, I refer to as "having fun.''

Everyone needs a little excess in life; we're only human.

Live life to the fullest and party hearty; life is too short not to enjoy it.

The only way to have fun is to let it all hang out.

No matter what I try, I can't stop those behaviors.

This behavior is what makes me unique, why change?

My behavior isn't "slow suicide,'' it's just variations on a life-style.

How else are you supposed to "blow off'' steam?

This behavior is painless, victimless, and doesn't cost a cent.

It's not like I murder people with my behavior.


What are the negative consequences of engaging in self-destructive anger responses?
When I resort to a self-destructive response to anger, I:

get stuck in my efforts to change and grow.

experience more pain and suffering.

find that my growth is diminished or lost.

find myself going backward rather than progressing in life.

feel irresponsible, flippant, and careless.

get confused by the differences between my beliefs and my behavior.

remain both mentally and physically ill.

am prone to a greater risk for panic attacks or other stress-induced illnesses.

find the direction of my life out of focus, with nothing is in place.

give power to people, places, and things.

resort to addictive or obsessive behavior.

revert to the old scripts, the old ways of dealing with anger in my family of origin.

find my anger does not dissipate.


Things I can do to rid myself of self-destructive responses to anger?
First: Identify each specific behavior, attitude, or feeling that is self-destructive.

Second: Try to identify the anger at the root of each self-destructive response.

Third: Define the anger at the root of each self-destructive response by listing in my journal:

the persons involved:

the events involved:

why it angers me:

how it affects me both then and now:

why this anger has so much power over me now:

what resentment, revenge, hatred, or rage is involved:

how I originally handled this anger:

why I haven't dealt completely with this anger yet:

what irrational thinking causes me to act this way:

what healthy responses to this anger could I substitute:


Fourth: Perform anger work-outs on each issue until I am able to let go of the anger, forgive those involved, and forget the events.

Fifth: Begin to extinguish each self-destructive behavior by:

asking my spouse, significant other, close family member, or close friend to help me stop this behavior.

asking for care and concern from the members of my support network.

joining a Twelve Step Program or some other peer-support self-help group addressed to the specific self-destructive issues with which you are dealing


Sixth: Develop a new set of behavior traits to replace the self-destructive responses to anger, including:

the use of assertive "I feel'' statements with people as soon as I feel anger starting.

the use of health oriented activities for anxiety, tension, and stress release, like physical exercise or progressive muscle relaxation

the use of an internal monitoring system to trigger an alarm when I slip into self-destructive behavior.

use of self-esteem enhancing behavior like self-affirmation, positive visual imagery, and self-hypnosis.

Morning Glory

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