Inconsiderate Neighbours

Old 06-24-2021, 02:45 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Kaily's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 6,454
Inconsiderate Neighbours

I suffer from GAD amongst other mental health problems. My neighbours are triggering my stress which is causing dramatic rises in my BP. It is currently 9.30pm and they are angle grinding in the garden, last night they didn't stop till 10.40. I live in a small semi, they have been at it since 8.30 this morning.

They have turned their back garden into a party place. Two bbq's, firepits and disco lights. I am a lady living a quite life on my own. I feel vulnerable, bullied and totally disrespected.

I have lived here 25 years as they have, I don't own my house but nor do they own theirs. Everything changed when the daughter got married. They have not shown any consideration at all and even stopped me having a new fence fitted at my own expense - reasons unknown.

My Dr had to prescribe me diazepam last week, only 8 tablets as she knows I am highly susceptible to become addicted.

I am truly at the end of my tether.
Kaily is offline  
Old 06-24-2021, 03:16 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: London
Posts: 333
That sounds absolutely horrendous! I hope you get some advice from other members as i am in the UK.
Scd619x is offline  
Old 06-24-2021, 03:55 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
aasharon90's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 14,246
We installed a small a/c window unit to drown out
our neighbors because their driveway run up the
side of our house and separates the 2 houses.

You can also try earplugs or a fan next to your bed too.

Say your Serenity prayer often and place your neighbors
in your Higher Powers hands.

I hope these few suggestions might be of some help to you
so you can experience more days of serenity and peace.

aasharon90 is offline  
Old 06-24-2021, 05:31 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Caramel's Avatar
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 30,789
Kaily, I think "Higher Powers" would include the Council's noise-abatement laws or whatever they're called in your area.

I understand how difficult it is for you but I think action needs to be taken.

Protect your health and that of your pets.

Hoping for a quick restoration of peace to your pretty garden sanctuary.

Caramel is offline  
Old 06-24-2021, 10:59 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Kaily's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 6,454
Thanks for the replies.

The parties haven't properly started yet, they are still preparing the garden, although they did have one last weekend. It looks now like a tacky pub garden.

Five of them living nextdoor, and just me here with no support, I am scared to complain. They know that and are taking advantage.

This thread is going to be my log, outlet and hopefully support. By goodness I need it.

Kaily is offline  
Old 06-25-2021, 12:41 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
saoutchik's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 15,314
Kaily, contact your Council. The Noise Act 1996 states that your local council must investigate any noise that is deemed to be a ‘nuisance’. If your neighbour’s noise is deemed a nuisance, then the Council can issue an Abatement Notice which can involve that the noise must stop completely or is only permitted during certain hours of the day. If your neighbour fails to comply, they can be fined up to 5,000. I would attach that photo too as it shows they have turned it in to party central.

I would also get someone to put a fence up regardless of them agreeing or not.

There will also be local forums you can campaign on.

I'm sorry you are having to go through this Kaily but be proactive and patient. You can also call the police out if it is bad late at night.
saoutchik is offline  
Old 06-25-2021, 01:19 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Mags1's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 23,815
Kaily, I am sorry too that you’re having these thoughtless neighbours to contend with. I’m not a confrontational person either and like a quiet life but I would sorely be tempted to report them.
If you have a decibel app it can measure and save their noise along with photos.

You shouldn’t have to feel under threat in your own home.

You can do this love, with the help of others too. Take care, sending love to you and Alfie and Daisy xx
Mags1 is offline  
Old 06-25-2021, 03:42 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Purplrks3647's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 14,312
(((Kaily))) How awful! I wonder if you can somehow report them anonymously.....or look for somewhere else to live...what a pain in the ass!
Purplrks3647 is offline  
Old 06-25-2021, 07:48 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
biminiblue's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 24,002
It seems that if you've been pretty good neighbors for 25 years, then you should be able to discuss this with the parents/long-time residents and also the property owners. The owners would want to know about those structures, it's a liability issue. Send the owners those images.

Find out the laws and let them know what they are. The young new husband might just be clueless. Young people often are. I know you said he is thug-like, but what are your choices? Move, complain loudly, or live with it.

What the heck is that black floor-like thing? It looks dangerous, are they burying bodies?

I don't know that I would be afraid to report them, but it could definitely go either way. I think the hours are important and the illegal structures. Can you enlist the support of those other neighbors in the back lot?
biminiblue is offline  
Old 06-25-2021, 07:53 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
SoberLeigh's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 118,427
I am so sorry that you are going through this, Kaily.

You have a beautiful garden (a true reflection of your inner beauty).

Your neighbors are pushing the limits of residential living; what is that platform thing - dry imposing and odd looking. It seems that your Council needs to get involved. It would seem that your landlord is pushing the limits, too, by allowing this to continue.

I like the idea above of a window air-conditioner; they really do drown out a lot of noise.
SoberLeigh is offline  
Old 06-25-2021, 07:54 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Boondock's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2021
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,077
It looks like a dance floor
Boondock is offline  
Old 06-25-2021, 05:57 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Robbie64's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 2,694
Sorry to read that your neighbours are causing ongoing problems. Your garden is lovely and it should be a place you want to be in and a place of sanctuary. Instead the behaviour of the neighbours is causing you anxiety.

They have made a complete mess of their garden. The decking looks hideous.

If the neighbours continue to be a nuisance then please reapproach the tenancy support officer (or whatever title they have). They have to take you seriously and have to listen to you and shouldn't be dismissive of what you are saying as happened last week.

I remember you posting that you are the neighbours only next door neighbour. But there are other properties in the immediate vicinity and sound does travel. If the neighbours continue to be antisocial then other people living close by may also get fed up of noise. Hopefully other people will report them too.

Take care Kaily and do speak to your tenancy support officer again.
Robbie64 is online now  
Old 06-25-2021, 10:56 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Kaily's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 6,454
Thanks everyone.

I am at the moment still focusing on trying to put a new fence up. The landlord is yet to give me permission as the neighbours blocked it. The true boundary fence (chain link) is behind my wonky fence. That needs to be removed to enable a straight fence line to be achieved. I have emailed the tenancy officer twice this week.

From what I can see a big party is planned for tonight. They are not even polite or respectful enough to let me know. I must look up the covid rules on large gatherings.

Kaily is offline  
Old 06-26-2021, 06:02 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
biminiblue's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 24,002
It's just so weird that they would cover that lovely lawn with that black thing. What does the landlord say about all this stuff on his/her property. Send them all the pictures!

I hope you find a way to be somewhat at peace with it tonight. Maybe buy yourself some noise-cancelling headphones, mine are great hooked up to the TV I use a ROKU to access internet TV, and the ROKU has a plug-in for my headphones right on its remote. Very handy.
biminiblue is offline  
Old 06-26-2021, 06:40 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Kaily's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 6,454
They have started already.Noise not too bad but lots of smoke from fire pit and bbq's. Idiots put balloons everywhere which keep popping because of all the fire. Daisy is terrified and Alfie just wants to bark at them. Gonna be a long day, hardly anyone there yet.

Yeah seems strange they are allowed to build all that but I can't put a new fence up. That is what infuriates me the most.

Oh, loud music now. Shut in my bedroom trying to keep my patience and my BP down.

This used to be a lovely street to live in.
Kaily is offline  
Old 06-26-2021, 06:53 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
biminiblue's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 24,002

Sounds like a good day for a road trip with the dogs.

Maybe they'd give you a picnic basket to take's the least they could do.
biminiblue is offline  
Old 06-26-2021, 07:06 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Kaily's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 6,454
Yes I was thinking that but it is very hot, plus it will still be going on when I get home.

You can imagine what is going through my mind - to blot it all out, chemically.

I must not drink.

They are turning me into a bitter and twisted old curtain twitcher.

Kaily is offline  
Old 06-26-2021, 07:12 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
biminiblue's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 24,002
Yeah, well you can see that you've let your fear run you over, right?

I get it, I mean PTSD makes that amygdala really jumpy and then all the systems in the body are on high alert.

It's not good for me to allow that to take over, so I am forced to find other solutions. That doesn't include food or booze. Jus' sayin.

Serenity to accept the things...
biminiblue is offline  
Old 06-26-2021, 07:40 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Kaily's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 6,454
Does serenity include putting the garden hose turned on at full belt over the garden fence. I could say I thought there was a fire.
Kaily is offline  
Old 06-26-2021, 08:33 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
aasharon90's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 14,246
Our neighborhood is pretty quiet with older retired folks,
but over time, some folks have move out and new moved
in. It never stays the same.

There is an elementary school down our street where
carpool lines up right in front of our home 2 times a day
when schools in session.

There is also a nice Catholic Church located in the opposite

Our street and neighborhood is a cut thru to 2 main streets
and so folks use it when going and coming from their jobs.

Soooo, there is thru way traffic and lots of stop signs to
keep the traffic at a slower pace.

I know that it is Summertime and many folks are either
having more BBQ's going on. Family stopping by for visits.
Kids swimming in their grandparents pools and just all
around outdoor activities and noise.

Also grass cutting, tree trimming, motorcycles, boom
boom music from passing cars or in neighbors backyard.

All kinds of noises we experienced as children when
we were young. Of course, did it bother us. No, because
as children we were having fun and didnt think about
the neighbors and such.

I wonder what all the parents did back in the day when
we couldnt wait to pop firecracker for the holidays. Or
when dad fires up the bbq pit and we picnic outside on
our wooden picnic table and all the fixins.

Back then, we rode our bikes up and down the streets,
played hide and go seek, marco polo, cowboys and indians.
Water ballon fights, skating, basketball, etc. Running
from one yard to another. Neighborhood kids all the time.

Now that im older, wiser, sober, i have had to rethink
things in todays time. I dont always agree with stuff
and realize i have little to no control over what other
folks do.

It hasnt been all fun in sobriety living next to others
and I thank God that I am sober to make some changes
in my life to avoid copping huge resentments towards them.

We have had several different neighbors to live in
the rent house next to us. Everyone has been different.
Some stories about them are funny now and I am
always reminded that what is living there now could be

Alot worse.

We are still thinking about putting something on our
windows to council out the noises. We have researched
different options to where it doesnt cost too much like
using these plexi glass sheets you can have cut to fit
over your windows.

In fact, my husband did a few windows yrs ago to his
bathroom window to keep the cool wind or draft from
seeping in during the Winter. It is sealed with adhiesive
silicone seal.

That was a cheap way to do it, but it works. However,
you have to decide to keep the window closed at all
times because once sealed it is sealed. Of course you
can easily cut the seal and take the sheet off anytime.

There is always a solution to any problem that doesnt
require killing ourselves with alcohol or drugs. A more
healthier way.

Keep searching out new ways to add more peace
to your home and life while the world continues to
do it's thing.

aasharon90 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:20 AM.