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Old 08-01-2020, 12:56 PM
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Lpg
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Social anxiety

Hey
Atm I'm having problems with social anxiety, I struggle to talk in groups or I start blushing and feel nervous like I just want to run away. I fear I'm being judged or disliked and it's making it difficult for me to be myself. Does anyone have any tips on this kind of thing? Thanks
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Old 08-01-2020, 01:00 PM
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Hi,

You might try taking the focus off of your audience and onto your breath and what it is you want to say.
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Old 08-01-2020, 01:13 PM
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Are you talking about groups at your job or is it
at recovery meetings like AA or other.
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Old 08-01-2020, 01:56 PM
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Yeah I do seem to focus too much on what others are doing/thinking. Must remember to try and breath properly. I forget what I'm trying to say because I'm so flustered which makes me even more anxious. Thanks
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Old 08-01-2020, 01:57 PM
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AAsharon90 yes more so at groups well tonight was a zoom sober meet up and I completely panicked. I used to do AA but I stopped going because of the same reasons. I'm such a nervous person but 1 2 1 I'm usually okay. I over think conversations too after the fact.
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Old 08-01-2020, 02:18 PM
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I don’t practice what I preach, but the more you immerse yourself into social interactions the less they’ll bother you. You go to one party a year you’ll be self conscious the whole time and scrutinize every interaction you had. If you go to fifty, it’ll just be “meh!”
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Old 08-01-2020, 02:33 PM
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What I say at a meeting is nowhere near as important as where it comes from. While the content of what I say may not win any awards, with the correct point of origin, it always comes with rewards. If it comes from my heart, it has the potential to help others and me at the same time. To me that is a win/win and the the core of recovery. As long as I speak from the heart, there is nothing to fear or be anxious about. It is all good.


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Old 08-01-2020, 02:45 PM
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I use to be extremely nervous when I went to meetings too.

My sponsor explained to me that they have to have those
that speak and they have to have those that listen. I was
the one who listened and felt okay with that for a long time.

However, from time to time, I would ask to read the Preamble
or How It Works before the meeting so that I could get use to
speaking in meetings.

Over time, i chaired a few times and then the day came when
out of the blue i felt confident in the topic to share my own ESH
experiences, strengths and hopes on it.

Sure i was nervous, but i share something and realized that
once i finished, I couldnt tell you exactly what I said. That was
explained to me that I spoke from the heart instead of my head.

I would go to many speaker meetings, Big Book Studies, Step
meetings where we would read around the room and that helped
me too.

Once i began to understand what recovery was and all the
lessons I was learning along the way, sharing a little something
became easier.

It was also explained to me too that we grow in recovery. Mature
along the way. Then we realize that sharing our own ESH with others
becomes a purpose in life. To be grateful for our own recovery and
to be of service to helping others.

We never know when some little something we share can
help another. It doesnt have to be profound or lengthy. If someone
sees or hears you, me or us remain successful in our own
recovery life, then they will want what we have.

With you just being here in SR and continuing on your own
recovery journey or suiting up and showing up, shows your
responsibility in recovery.

Hope that makes sense.

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Old 08-02-2020, 11:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Upstairs View Post
I don’t practice what I preach, but the more you immerse yourself into social interactions the less they’ll bother you.
Truth! And I agree with aasharon90's entire share. Growing up, and as an active alcoholic, I was extremely shy and introverted. In high school I dropped out of speech class quickly, I couldn't bear to share with anyone else or in a group. AA changed all that, I was asked frequently to help with the readings and I realized that coming out of my shell and participating in service work would save my life, and after awhile I started to open up and would share my story from the podium many times. My old self was no longer there and a new me emerged from the wreckage of my past.

Here's a quick share to give you an example of how far I've come. A couple weeks ago I was interviewed via Zoom and photographed at a local concert venue, sometime next year I may be in a short blurb in a coffee table book. Ain't that something? Life in recovery can be an incredible rollercoaster ride, our social anxiety and nervousness has the potential to turn into something that we never expected and we can become completely different people in our new clean and sober lives.
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Old 08-03-2020, 05:29 AM
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Thanks everyone. I do often try to speak from the heart but in turn brings alot of emotions and nervous feelings which I'm bad for trying to avoid, prob why I get nervous.
It would really help me in recovery if I could overcome this instead of wanting to shy away and hide. Maybe the more I put myself out there listen and learn I'll become more confident in myself.
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Old 08-03-2020, 05:45 AM
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I was doing so much better with confidence but I think lockdown has made me go back onto myself again
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Old 08-03-2020, 06:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Lpg View Post
Maybe the more I put myself out there listen and learn I'll become more confident in myself.
I'm still usually the quiet one in a group, and I think the realization that I came to is that participation is what made a difference for me, which didn't necessarily mean I had to open my mouth and speak. Sometimes it was just being part of a group at a meeting or coffee shop, at other times it was quietly doing service work.
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