Life after a nervous breakdown!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,618
Sorry I missed seeing your last posts.
Tomorrow is psych day, I hope it goes really well for you.
I hope also that maybe you did get to the doctor? If not maybe the psychiatrist can give you some guidance and help there.
As for the outstanding bill at the GP, I wouldn't worry about it at all, I'm sure if they care they will ask you to pay when you arrive there.
Tomorrow is psych day, I hope it goes really well for you.
I hope also that maybe you did get to the doctor? If not maybe the psychiatrist can give you some guidance and help there.
As for the outstanding bill at the GP, I wouldn't worry about it at all, I'm sure if they care they will ask you to pay when you arrive there.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Warwick, RI
Posts: 193
I did go to the appointment yesterday it was good, She's a counselor not a psychiatrist and a I do have an appointment with her next Tuesday and also an appointment with a psychiatrist after that. She did mention medications and that she wanted me to talk to the prescriber. I'm open to some medications but I don't want anything to do with any antidepressants.
She she was good to talk to. I had a lot to say not enough time to say everything I wanted to say. I told her there was things I wanted to mention that I forgot and she said to write them down which is a good idea actually. She wants me to make an appointment with my doctor and she wasn't worried about the $35 either. she was talking about some kind of therapy called EMDR, but I honestly think a person my age is too old to be mentally trained by these kinds of therapies.
And I'm just worried about how much it's going to cost. I need to call the office over there and just ask them but I feel funny doing that too. I know it sounds weird but it's part of the social anxiety I think. But I think social security covers 80% so that 20% can add up quick.
I still haven't called the doctor I went to before I actually seen him for quite a few years maybe since 2000 not exactly sure. I always liked him good personality.
I kind of feel funny calling a doctor's office anyways because of owing money. I I was thinking I could just pay it off but if I do that and call it's going to look even more funny so I have no choice but to just call and make an appointment if I can get myself to do that. Sometimes I really want to and sometimes I don't once I make an appointment it'll just be constant anxiety. I know that the doctor and the dentist are two things I really need to take care of.
She she was good to talk to. I had a lot to say not enough time to say everything I wanted to say. I told her there was things I wanted to mention that I forgot and she said to write them down which is a good idea actually. She wants me to make an appointment with my doctor and she wasn't worried about the $35 either. she was talking about some kind of therapy called EMDR, but I honestly think a person my age is too old to be mentally trained by these kinds of therapies.
And I'm just worried about how much it's going to cost. I need to call the office over there and just ask them but I feel funny doing that too. I know it sounds weird but it's part of the social anxiety I think. But I think social security covers 80% so that 20% can add up quick.
I still haven't called the doctor I went to before I actually seen him for quite a few years maybe since 2000 not exactly sure. I always liked him good personality.
I kind of feel funny calling a doctor's office anyways because of owing money. I I was thinking I could just pay it off but if I do that and call it's going to look even more funny so I have no choice but to just call and make an appointment if I can get myself to do that. Sometimes I really want to and sometimes I don't once I make an appointment it'll just be constant anxiety. I know that the doctor and the dentist are two things I really need to take care of.
Last edited by daveycrockett; 01-15-2020 at 08:17 PM. Reason: Spelling
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,618
This is a really good start don't you think?
A year ago you were struggling to leave the house, now you have made an appointment with a counsellor and gone and seen her! That's a huge step in the right direction.
As for the Doctor, again, we can get so inside our heads that we think the Dr's office (or whomever) has been thinking about our unpaid bill (or whatever). The truth is it's long been written off and no one cares!
Just as the counsellor said.
Absolute worse case scenario, when you call to make the appt. they will say oh Mr. Crockett I see you owe $35.00 here. Then you just say I'll pay that when I get there, sorry. Yes, it's that easy.
If you have to make an appt. for your Dr. (as in they don't accept walk-ins) just do it and see how you feel on the day (ensuring they don't charge for cancellations). If you can't go, give them a call and reschedule.
Anyway, this is great progress and I hope you are seeing that.
A year ago you were struggling to leave the house, now you have made an appointment with a counsellor and gone and seen her! That's a huge step in the right direction.
As for the Doctor, again, we can get so inside our heads that we think the Dr's office (or whomever) has been thinking about our unpaid bill (or whatever). The truth is it's long been written off and no one cares!
Just as the counsellor said.
Absolute worse case scenario, when you call to make the appt. they will say oh Mr. Crockett I see you owe $35.00 here. Then you just say I'll pay that when I get there, sorry. Yes, it's that easy.
If you have to make an appt. for your Dr. (as in they don't accept walk-ins) just do it and see how you feel on the day (ensuring they don't charge for cancellations). If you can't go, give them a call and reschedule.
Anyway, this is great progress and I hope you are seeing that.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,035
I think it's a fantastic start, a giant leap really, and I'm happy to hear you took action and moved forward on this. I look forward to hearing more about your progress, keep it up!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Warwick, RI
Posts: 193
I went to the first appointment as you know but I didn't go to the second appointments. I found out I have to pay the first $208 out of my pocket and then I have to pay 20% of each visit to them. I'm desperately trying to save money and I'm not going to pay $30 every time I walk in there. And it would have been $60 at least for both appointments.
At my age I'm so set in my ways that nothing can really help. The counselor just talked to me and convince me that I needed to call the doctor and that's exactly what everybody here was doing. Same advice only I get to talk in person and pay them. Maybe I sound like a jerk I'm an idiot but I can't justify it because I am the most frugal I've ever been and I've always been frugal.
Anyways it's the same old story with me. I'm not feeling good especially my breathing is bad. I just can't make myself go to a doctor or anything because the phobia just prevents me. I know it's stupid but that's the way it is I don't know.
At my age I'm so set in my ways that nothing can really help. The counselor just talked to me and convince me that I needed to call the doctor and that's exactly what everybody here was doing. Same advice only I get to talk in person and pay them. Maybe I sound like a jerk I'm an idiot but I can't justify it because I am the most frugal I've ever been and I've always been frugal.
Anyways it's the same old story with me. I'm not feeling good especially my breathing is bad. I just can't make myself go to a doctor or anything because the phobia just prevents me. I know it's stupid but that's the way it is I don't know.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,870
There is nothing wrong with being frugal, but this is your health. If they can help you, then it is worth the money. Sixty dollars for two doctor appointments is not that much at all, especially when the alternative is to suffer.
True, but they can help you medically where we cannot. Our advice and support may be free, but that's as far as it goes. We don't have the ability to help make you well.
Not long ago you were complaining that you couldn't even get a doctor appointment, and now you have doctors willing to see you but you won't go.
The counselor just talked to me and convince me that I needed to call the doctor and that's exactly what everybody here was doing. Same advice only I get to talk in person and pay them.
Not long ago you were complaining that you couldn't even get a doctor appointment, and now you have doctors willing to see you but you won't go.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,618
Of course you can be helped. What if the psychiatrist were able to help you enough to where you felt confident enough to go see a doctor? Just see one, no tests or anything, just see one and talk to them.
What if he were able to prescribe some anti anxiety medication, just a few pills, not a full blown prescription (if you don't want that) so that you could actually curb your anxiety enough to go see a doctor. Did you suggest that to him?
What if he could prescribe oxygen for you to be delivered to your house regularly?
These are simple things that you might get from your 30 dollars each visit investment, wouldn't the peace of mind of knowing you are going in the right direction be worth that - just for that alone?
As Suki said, we can give you our best advice but we can't actually help you make that jump, the psychiatrist may be able to give you that help.
What if he were able to prescribe some anti anxiety medication, just a few pills, not a full blown prescription (if you don't want that) so that you could actually curb your anxiety enough to go see a doctor. Did you suggest that to him?
What if he could prescribe oxygen for you to be delivered to your house regularly?
These are simple things that you might get from your 30 dollars each visit investment, wouldn't the peace of mind of knowing you are going in the right direction be worth that - just for that alone?
As Suki said, we can give you our best advice but we can't actually help you make that jump, the psychiatrist may be able to give you that help.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,035
I'm really tight with money myself, I do understand. This past weekend though I somehow injured my shoulder, the pain was intense, so I had to pay a visit to the doctor and also pay for a prescription. The result though is that I can get some sleep without the shooting nerve pains and I'm healing and mending. Worth every penny to have some resolution, and it gives me the ability to make income which covers those medical expenses. Make sense?
You took a huge step in going to the doctor, I hope you'll consider the benefits and continue going.
You took a huge step in going to the doctor, I hope you'll consider the benefits and continue going.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Warwick, RI
Posts: 193
I don't know why I can't get this line out of my text.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,618
Well that's odd, that line is a format called Strikethrough, like bold or underline, it may be on by mistake in your app?
Anyway I'm sure you'll find it, if nothing else you can always type in Notepad then copy and paste it in here.
Anyway I'm sure you'll find it, if nothing else you can always type in Notepad then copy and paste it in here.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Originally Posted by daveycrockett 
At my age I'm so set in my ways that nothing can really help. The counselor just talked to me and convince me that I needed to call the doctor and that's exactly what everybody here was doing. Same advice only I get to talk in person and pay them. Maybe I sound like a jerk I'm an idiot but I can't justify it because I am the most frugal I've ever been and I've always been frugal.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,035
Originally Posted by daveycrockett
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Warwick, RI
Posts: 193
The $60 would have been to the two counselors not actual medical doctors, but I might have been scheduled to see a psychiatrist and who can prescribe medications. It's crazy what I'm doing I guess that says a lot about my real frame of mind. That's true I did complain about not finding a doctor. I also realized I'm unique with my whole situation that nobody can really understand and help with I'm sure of that.
Past couple days have been really really bad with my breathing, I know I have a cold maybe bronchitis maybe pneumonia I don't know. Maybe it's meant for me to just lay down and die when the time comes. I'm just in a bad way depression is real hard right now too. If I'm not working I'm laying down for the most part.
think I really need some anti-anxiety medications such as Klonopin and Valium they always work good for me. I just won't ever do any psychiatric meds again especially antidepressants. And even when I spoke to the counselor she was already talking about antidepressants. I know I need to see the psychiatrist or a doctor to get some but I screwed that up.
I really need a real person with me to talk to me to be with me and I do not have that. Anytime I talk to my son about anyting health-related he doesn't even answer or he totally changes the subject. I now realize I am absolutely crazy because what I do is just absolutely stupid and ridiculous. I feel so bad today I really need to get to the hospital, really I'm trying to talk myself into it. This phobia just has total control over me. it scares me to think about oxygen but I would do it if it would help I guess I don't know.
Some of the things I say on here even are just not making sense anymore I'm not even sure if I ever made sense before. At this point the best thing for me would be going to the mental hospital like Butler where I could get both mental and physical help I realize that is what I need. But before I when I was desperate for help I went there and and they just told me to go home. I needed help in the past and I could not get it when I was actively seeking it.
I screwed up I never should have cancel those appointments I don't know what I'm doing anymore I really am a wreak. I think I have a cold maybe bronchitis maybe pneumonia I don't know. I feel real bad. I'll try to talk to my son at 3 to see if you can say something because when I talk to my ex-wife she won't say much either. I guess this is what happens to someone when they can't get the care they need and they get turned away when they want it I am a product of a screwed-up system and I can't trust it and I don't like put my faith in it either.
I was supposed to go to work today from 12 to 8 they forced me to work those hours. the desk Captain called me yesterday and asked me to go in in the morning and I said I couldn't because I had an appointment and I don't like to lie like that I said that because I don't feel well at all. After I hung up with him the other Captain called me back and she asked me what time my appointment was when I said 10 she said well you can come in from 12 to 8. I told them I don't want the hours because it interferes in my social security disability but they don't care. I couldn't sleep all night I was all upset all I do is think about my benefits and think about money I'm a total wreck. so today I was getting ready to leave for work at my got real light-headed and I thought I was going to fall down I called up and told him I was not going to work today and they were all upset so I'm probably going to quit my job today. They found out what I was I was possibly available and made me work them.
Past couple days have been really really bad with my breathing, I know I have a cold maybe bronchitis maybe pneumonia I don't know. Maybe it's meant for me to just lay down and die when the time comes. I'm just in a bad way depression is real hard right now too. If I'm not working I'm laying down for the most part.
think I really need some anti-anxiety medications such as Klonopin and Valium they always work good for me. I just won't ever do any psychiatric meds again especially antidepressants. And even when I spoke to the counselor she was already talking about antidepressants. I know I need to see the psychiatrist or a doctor to get some but I screwed that up.
I really need a real person with me to talk to me to be with me and I do not have that. Anytime I talk to my son about anyting health-related he doesn't even answer or he totally changes the subject. I now realize I am absolutely crazy because what I do is just absolutely stupid and ridiculous. I feel so bad today I really need to get to the hospital, really I'm trying to talk myself into it. This phobia just has total control over me. it scares me to think about oxygen but I would do it if it would help I guess I don't know.
Some of the things I say on here even are just not making sense anymore I'm not even sure if I ever made sense before. At this point the best thing for me would be going to the mental hospital like Butler where I could get both mental and physical help I realize that is what I need. But before I when I was desperate for help I went there and and they just told me to go home. I needed help in the past and I could not get it when I was actively seeking it.
I screwed up I never should have cancel those appointments I don't know what I'm doing anymore I really am a wreak. I think I have a cold maybe bronchitis maybe pneumonia I don't know. I feel real bad. I'll try to talk to my son at 3 to see if you can say something because when I talk to my ex-wife she won't say much either. I guess this is what happens to someone when they can't get the care they need and they get turned away when they want it I am a product of a screwed-up system and I can't trust it and I don't like put my faith in it either.
I was supposed to go to work today from 12 to 8 they forced me to work those hours. the desk Captain called me yesterday and asked me to go in in the morning and I said I couldn't because I had an appointment and I don't like to lie like that I said that because I don't feel well at all. After I hung up with him the other Captain called me back and she asked me what time my appointment was when I said 10 she said well you can come in from 12 to 8. I told them I don't want the hours because it interferes in my social security disability but they don't care. I couldn't sleep all night I was all upset all I do is think about my benefits and think about money I'm a total wreck. so today I was getting ready to leave for work at my got real light-headed and I thought I was going to fall down I called up and told him I was not going to work today and they were all upset so I'm probably going to quit my job today. They found out what I was I was possibly available and made me work them.
Last edited by daveycrockett; 03-03-2020 at 08:53 AM. Reason: Spelling
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,618
Perhaps you can call the counselors back and try to rebook the appointments. I'm sure you aren't the first person to cancel! Perhaps at least give it a try.
Yes, you do need to see a doctor, you're right, I also get that your phobia holds you back. Do whatever you can though, even try to get to a walk in clinic.
I hope you don't judge your Son too harshly, not everyone understands mental challenges, just like not everyone understands alcoholism.
Yes, you do need to see a doctor, you're right, I also get that your phobia holds you back. Do whatever you can though, even try to get to a walk in clinic.
I hope you don't judge your Son too harshly, not everyone understands mental challenges, just like not everyone understands alcoholism.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Warwick, RI
Posts: 193
I'm open to certain medications but I definitely don't want antidepressants they messed with me big time. And the withdrawals from antidepressants can be pretty severe.
I'm seriously considering making an appointment maybe tomorrow maybe Monday I don't know not a priority at this moment. But getting my mental health straightened out is a priority so again I don't know.
I know I have to get to a doctor but I just keep putting it off. That is also something that should be a priority. I have a couple teeth bothering me and I need to get to a dentist I'm terrified of that also it's just draining. I have constant anxiety and my mind is just always thinking about these things non stop.
The past few days I think I had the flu or just a bad cold or whatever but I needed a few days rest I really did. when I go to work the guy I relieve he always shakes my hand every day and I don't like that with everything going around today. So I should just say something politely like lets just do a fist bump or something. I will analyze everything and think hard about everything I don't want to offend anyone either.
So actually tomorrow when I go to work I can just say I don't want you to get sick from me and hopefully that'll start a new trend as far as that goes.
I'm seriously considering making an appointment maybe tomorrow maybe Monday I don't know not a priority at this moment. But getting my mental health straightened out is a priority so again I don't know.
I know I have to get to a doctor but I just keep putting it off. That is also something that should be a priority. I have a couple teeth bothering me and I need to get to a dentist I'm terrified of that also it's just draining. I have constant anxiety and my mind is just always thinking about these things non stop.
The past few days I think I had the flu or just a bad cold or whatever but I needed a few days rest I really did. when I go to work the guy I relieve he always shakes my hand every day and I don't like that with everything going around today. So I should just say something politely like lets just do a fist bump or something. I will analyze everything and think hard about everything I don't want to offend anyone either.
So actually tomorrow when I go to work I can just say I don't want you to get sick from me and hopefully that'll start a new trend as far as that goes.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,035
It's becoming very common for most businesses and public places to have hand sanitizer dispensers placed for everyone to use, after a handshake or when in the area there's no harm in using it.
You're doing well with getting out and about and seeking help, and I do agree that mental health can be of utmost importance. I've probably mentioned before that for me personally just being around other people is a huge benefit to my anxiety, it doesn't always have to be a large group, sometimes just a couple friends is very helpful to my well being. Professional help can be a necessity for us, but help needn't always cost money.
You're doing well with getting out and about and seeking help, and I do agree that mental health can be of utmost importance. I've probably mentioned before that for me personally just being around other people is a huge benefit to my anxiety, it doesn't always have to be a large group, sometimes just a couple friends is very helpful to my well being. Professional help can be a necessity for us, but help needn't always cost money.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Warwick, RI
Posts: 193
I like being around other people just a couple people at a time I've never liked large crowds. I have always had a very difficult time making friends that's why when I lost the three friends that I've had for many years it was really devastating to me. I've been out and about now almost a year working and going shopping and whatever but I can't meet anyone. I open my mouth seeing my rotted black teeth doesn't help matters any.
I do have a question that I wish I had a friend or someone to talk to about it with but I don't so here goes. I don't know the exact date but about 4 to 5 years ago I hired a lawyer and I paid him $1,000 retainer for my bankruptcy and I never went to court and I never used him only thing he did was bring one paper to the courthouse for me. I want to finish up my bankruptcy so I can possibly get credit again I think this is a another priority of mine. Do you think he would work with me, do you think he remembers, what do you think I should do? Thanks for any input it is much appreciated.
I do have a question that I wish I had a friend or someone to talk to about it with but I don't so here goes. I don't know the exact date but about 4 to 5 years ago I hired a lawyer and I paid him $1,000 retainer for my bankruptcy and I never went to court and I never used him only thing he did was bring one paper to the courthouse for me. I want to finish up my bankruptcy so I can possibly get credit again I think this is a another priority of mine. Do you think he would work with me, do you think he remembers, what do you think I should do? Thanks for any input it is much appreciated.
Last edited by daveycrockett; 03-09-2020 at 06:05 PM. Reason: Spelling
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,035
I had a similar situation with an attorney years ago, there's usually a time limit on a retainer and I believe mine was two years. My suggestion would be to call him and discuss whether he remembers you and if your retainer is still valid.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Warwick, RI
Posts: 193
This past Saturday my breathing was real bad I picked up the phone and called the clinic down the street, they told me not to come in but I could go by and see them the next day and got an appointment at the tent set up outside. And the next day I felt better a after laying down for about 24 hours. I ended up canceling that appointment. They also gave me a name of a nurse practitioner who is a general practice. But on Saturday I felt so bad I was ready to go for a chest x-ray or something. And coronavirus is really affecting the medical field people are getting poor medical care because of it unless you have coronavirus
So I've been doing a lot of thinking and my mind and thoughts are just so much better than it was just a few months ago even just seems better and better all the time. Of course I still have some severe phobias with this but I just can't drop dead. Anyways I worked I had to go up and down the stairs and I was just so out of breath and nauseous. So on Tuesday I called and she wasn't doing actual walk-in appointments she was doing that phone conference and I had to download Google duo. She gave me an appointment for Thursday morning at 9.
I talked to her this morning for about 15 minutes and what's going on with some medical things she said it sounds like it could possibly be heart related. She wanted me to get a chest x-ray and go for blood work so I did. She does this online thing I have a medical file I can access called Athena. I got a notice today that I have a a file to download so I did and it was the result of my chest x-ray. It came back completely negative my lungs are clear no sign of any disease.
I didn't hear anything on the blood work yet but I don't know if I'll get a message results online well I suppose if it's not good news she might make an appointment. I'm just anxiously and nervously awaiting the results. I'm in a much better frame of mind and have been thinking more clearly for the past few months anyways. But I know my sugar is way out of control, I don't know what my liver functions will show they could be good, it's been almost two years since I quit drinking.
If I had hepatitis I don't know if it did any permanent damage and I'm pretty sure I had that just by the way I felt and the color of my urine. And I'm really hoping I don't have cirrhosis. And of course I'm worried about my heart too. Anyways I just felt so bad and I just was fed up feeling like this and I couldn't take it anymore, and my frame of mind for sure. I know I have something severely wrong with me. I'll keep you all posted.
So I've been doing a lot of thinking and my mind and thoughts are just so much better than it was just a few months ago even just seems better and better all the time. Of course I still have some severe phobias with this but I just can't drop dead. Anyways I worked I had to go up and down the stairs and I was just so out of breath and nauseous. So on Tuesday I called and she wasn't doing actual walk-in appointments she was doing that phone conference and I had to download Google duo. She gave me an appointment for Thursday morning at 9.
I talked to her this morning for about 15 minutes and what's going on with some medical things she said it sounds like it could possibly be heart related. She wanted me to get a chest x-ray and go for blood work so I did. She does this online thing I have a medical file I can access called Athena. I got a notice today that I have a a file to download so I did and it was the result of my chest x-ray. It came back completely negative my lungs are clear no sign of any disease.
I didn't hear anything on the blood work yet but I don't know if I'll get a message results online well I suppose if it's not good news she might make an appointment. I'm just anxiously and nervously awaiting the results. I'm in a much better frame of mind and have been thinking more clearly for the past few months anyways. But I know my sugar is way out of control, I don't know what my liver functions will show they could be good, it's been almost two years since I quit drinking.
If I had hepatitis I don't know if it did any permanent damage and I'm pretty sure I had that just by the way I felt and the color of my urine. And I'm really hoping I don't have cirrhosis. And of course I'm worried about my heart too. Anyways I just felt so bad and I just was fed up feeling like this and I couldn't take it anymore, and my frame of mind for sure. I know I have something severely wrong with me. I'll keep you all posted.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,035
It may not be severe, it could be minor but from experience I tend to worry over even small pains and discomforts. These are huge steps you've taken Davey, seeking medical help and using phone conferences with professionals, I'm really happy to see you're taking them. Stay in prayer and have faith this will work out, you are taking tremendous strides towards improving your health.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
