Ceedaily, I know it's been quite a while since you posted this, but I just wanted you to know you're not alone. I talked to my mom every day. She passed away 8 years ago this August. You want to talk about procrastination? I haven't closed her estate out yet because for the longest time it was just too painful to even think about, much less gather bank statements, death certificates, etc. But then the anxiety and shame compounds. It's a bad cycle. I'm finally making myself get everything together and get this monkey off my back.
My dad is a procrastinator, and my teenage daughter told me last night (after I scolded her for not cleaning her room, when I'd been after her to do it for a week before she left for a week) told me that she's a natural procrastinator. So the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.
All we can do is try. Start with the little things and reward yourself in some small way for what you accomplish. I struggle, and probably always will struggle.....but we can always strive to be better.