Anxiety & Health Professionals
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Anxiety & Health Professionals
I wish I was one of those people who just became quiet from anxiety, instead of it seeping out of me sideways. I wish I could just shut up and sit silently in my anxiety until it passes.
I hate being misperceived and misunderstood by health professionals who don't understand how anxiety manifests outwardly. It's bad enough that the general public doesn't understand it.
I get very anxious around authority figures, although I'm getting better. I just have to remind myself "this person is not your mother". But sometimes stuff triggers me and then I lose my ability to put mindfulness tools into place.
The other day, I went to see a new doctor at my doctor's practice. I do feel that finally my regular doctor is on my side. I had something happen with a trainer I was getting sessions with and got injured. Something my doctor said to me was very sincere, caring and validating . So I know now he's on my side and may actually finally get me--if that's even at all possible.
The doctor I saw the other day made me anxious because he didn't know me and I didn't know him. When I'm anxious, I talk way too much. I also try to show that I am smart, so the person will like me and think I'm a good person (such a stupid defense mechanism I've had since childhood that I haven't been able to break yet, but maybe with increased awareness, I will).
I hate taking meds for personal reasons regarding my mother that's too long and complicated to explain here. But I was once accused of being "paranoid" by a doctor I just met, because I asked a simple question about the medication she wanted to put me on. I'm not paranoid; I merely like to be an informed patient/consumer and know what I'm taking, what to expect, and why. I also have a very sensitive system, and so I don't like taking anything strong.
When we were discussing treatment options, I made a joke yesterday and it'd take too long to explain the reason for why I made it. It has to do with old fear of what an abusive person in my past would've said to me if I chose one of the possible treatment options and not another one. The joke came across badly, and suddenly I could tell the doctor was treating me like a head case. He started writing very vigorously. The more he wrote, the more anxious I got. The more anxious I got, the more I babbled. When I babble, I don't say what I mean and things I say get extremely easily misconstrued, which feeds the anxiety. It's a vicious cycle, that ends with extreme self-hate and helplessness.
I've never had an addiction issue with pharmaceuticals or pills, because I'm very careful with what I put in my body. (With alcohol, I just sort of denied it was doing any damage because I didn't drink that much, and I told myself "red wine has health benefits").
Again, not because I'm paranoid or controlling, but because of an issue to do with my mother and from childhood, I ask a lot of questions whenever a doctor prescribes a certain medication or changes a medication. It's too hard to explain here. I like to stay healthy, and pharmaceuticals scare me because they're so strong and can have negative side effects. Or they're approved as safe, only to be found later on to be unsafe and potentially cause cancer or bad side effects. Something similar to this happened in my life.
So I just like to ask questions. I'm not questioning the doctor's ability, but I fear he thought that. I do the same thing when my vet puts my dogs on medications. I like to know what side effects to look for if they're not tolerating the medications, etc., or how to know if they're not a good combination with other meds they're on. Why is that a bad thing or viewed as "paranoid"?
Meds were pushed a lot in my household; it was like a mini pharmacy in my house. I was on a bunch of over the counter medications that no child should've been on. My siblings were on pharmaceutical stuff from the time they were young, too, that they shouldn't have been on. My mother was always throwing pills at us to take, instead of actually solving the issues. My older sibling got addicted to a medication (not a pain medication) that's not often addictive. But it can happen. Once she resolved the root cause of her medical issue, she stopped taking the meds she was on. So even though she was addicted to them, I don't think it was the meds themselves she was addicted to. I think she was addicted to the desire for the meds to help her feel better.
Yesterday I got a script for a new medication and I just wanted to make sure it didn't interact badly with the medications I am on. I also asked it was addictive, because I was trying to be careful. I realized this new doctor doesn't know me, and so I told him I wasn't trying to do his job, I was just trying to be careful. But I don't think he believed me, which fed into my anxiety more. These questions just led to even more vigorous writing. I finally realized that he was writing everything I was saying verbatim.
I feel extremely violated, terribly misunderstood, and rather helpless in this situation. And those feelings are true.
Has anyone else had this experience, and what did you do to resolve it and make sure it didn't happen again? It's so unsettling. I'm rather depressed over it today. I am so very tired of being misperceived.
__________________
I hate being misperceived and misunderstood by health professionals who don't understand how anxiety manifests outwardly. It's bad enough that the general public doesn't understand it.
I get very anxious around authority figures, although I'm getting better. I just have to remind myself "this person is not your mother". But sometimes stuff triggers me and then I lose my ability to put mindfulness tools into place.
The other day, I went to see a new doctor at my doctor's practice. I do feel that finally my regular doctor is on my side. I had something happen with a trainer I was getting sessions with and got injured. Something my doctor said to me was very sincere, caring and validating . So I know now he's on my side and may actually finally get me--if that's even at all possible.
The doctor I saw the other day made me anxious because he didn't know me and I didn't know him. When I'm anxious, I talk way too much. I also try to show that I am smart, so the person will like me and think I'm a good person (such a stupid defense mechanism I've had since childhood that I haven't been able to break yet, but maybe with increased awareness, I will).
I hate taking meds for personal reasons regarding my mother that's too long and complicated to explain here. But I was once accused of being "paranoid" by a doctor I just met, because I asked a simple question about the medication she wanted to put me on. I'm not paranoid; I merely like to be an informed patient/consumer and know what I'm taking, what to expect, and why. I also have a very sensitive system, and so I don't like taking anything strong.
When we were discussing treatment options, I made a joke yesterday and it'd take too long to explain the reason for why I made it. It has to do with old fear of what an abusive person in my past would've said to me if I chose one of the possible treatment options and not another one. The joke came across badly, and suddenly I could tell the doctor was treating me like a head case. He started writing very vigorously. The more he wrote, the more anxious I got. The more anxious I got, the more I babbled. When I babble, I don't say what I mean and things I say get extremely easily misconstrued, which feeds the anxiety. It's a vicious cycle, that ends with extreme self-hate and helplessness.
I've never had an addiction issue with pharmaceuticals or pills, because I'm very careful with what I put in my body. (With alcohol, I just sort of denied it was doing any damage because I didn't drink that much, and I told myself "red wine has health benefits").
Again, not because I'm paranoid or controlling, but because of an issue to do with my mother and from childhood, I ask a lot of questions whenever a doctor prescribes a certain medication or changes a medication. It's too hard to explain here. I like to stay healthy, and pharmaceuticals scare me because they're so strong and can have negative side effects. Or they're approved as safe, only to be found later on to be unsafe and potentially cause cancer or bad side effects. Something similar to this happened in my life.
So I just like to ask questions. I'm not questioning the doctor's ability, but I fear he thought that. I do the same thing when my vet puts my dogs on medications. I like to know what side effects to look for if they're not tolerating the medications, etc., or how to know if they're not a good combination with other meds they're on. Why is that a bad thing or viewed as "paranoid"?
Meds were pushed a lot in my household; it was like a mini pharmacy in my house. I was on a bunch of over the counter medications that no child should've been on. My siblings were on pharmaceutical stuff from the time they were young, too, that they shouldn't have been on. My mother was always throwing pills at us to take, instead of actually solving the issues. My older sibling got addicted to a medication (not a pain medication) that's not often addictive. But it can happen. Once she resolved the root cause of her medical issue, she stopped taking the meds she was on. So even though she was addicted to them, I don't think it was the meds themselves she was addicted to. I think she was addicted to the desire for the meds to help her feel better.
Yesterday I got a script for a new medication and I just wanted to make sure it didn't interact badly with the medications I am on. I also asked it was addictive, because I was trying to be careful. I realized this new doctor doesn't know me, and so I told him I wasn't trying to do his job, I was just trying to be careful. But I don't think he believed me, which fed into my anxiety more. These questions just led to even more vigorous writing. I finally realized that he was writing everything I was saying verbatim.
I feel extremely violated, terribly misunderstood, and rather helpless in this situation. And those feelings are true.
Has anyone else had this experience, and what did you do to resolve it and make sure it didn't happen again? It's so unsettling. I'm rather depressed over it today. I am so very tired of being misperceived.
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I hope you're going to a psychiatrist and not some other kind of doctor.
Anxiety is serious business and, I think, should be treated by physicians highly skilled in addressing it.
Incidentally, my GAD has been successfully treated for almost 20 years now with medications.
They have dramatically changed my life for the better.
Anxiety is serious business and, I think, should be treated by physicians highly skilled in addressing it.
Incidentally, my GAD has been successfully treated for almost 20 years now with medications.
They have dramatically changed my life for the better.
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Originally Posted by SoberCAH 
I hope you're going to a psychiatrist and not some other kind of doctor.
Anxiety is serious business and, I think, should be treated by physicians highly skilled in addressing it.
Incidentally, my GAD has been successfully treated for almost 20 years now with medications.
They have dramatically changed my life for the better.
Anxiety is serious business and, I think, should be treated by physicians highly skilled in addressing it.
Incidentally, my GAD has been successfully treated for almost 20 years now with medications.
They have dramatically changed my life for the better.
I do see a psychiatrist for my depression/anxiety, which has been life-long, although I didn't start meds till my 20s. I've always been a believer that for non-situational depression/anxiety, one should see a psychiatrist. If I was depressed/anxious due to a temporary event, I see no harm in getting meds from a general practitioner. Nor do I see the harm in getting refills from the general practitioner once the psychiatrist finds meds/dosing that work for you. That's just my opinion.
This was a new general practitioner in my regular medical practice who I was seeing yesterday for a medical issue that I needed to resolve.
I think I was more anxious than usual because my diagnosis is no longer just depression/anxiety, but has changed recently to either BP2 or bipolar depression. I'm personally confused by which it is. But having to tell a new healthcare practitioner that, made my anxiety go through the roof. I think I need to discuss this more in therapy. I knew exactly what triggered it--again, it was something he brought up during treatment options for my medical issue that put me in a tremendous amount of fear, due to what an abusive person would've said about my treatment option choice. I can't explain it here. You wouldn't understand. And honestly, sometimes I wonder if I would try to explain it to my therapist, if she would actually get it. How can someone understand someone else's experience, if they never experienced it themselves?
I'm happy for you that meds have helped you so much!! For me, I'm finding it's a combination of meds, mindfulness, therapy, and exercise. Mindfulness, exercise, and therapy have helped me more than just meds alone. But I needed the meds to get me to this place. I know everyone's experience is different, however.
Thank you SoberCAH.
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I can understand how it would be anxious to have someone write what you are saying when you aren't sure what they are writing.
Your regular doctor knows you so if reads it would understand.
But i think its validated the questions you have and stated to a physician regarding medications when it is your body.
I wouldn't worry about what they think of you.
The point is finding the medication you feel comfortable about taking that can work for you. Having anxiety about it and discussing it with a doctor is normal and you have a right to voice concerns and ask questions with a physician who is prescribing.
Your regular doctor knows you so if reads it would understand.
But i think its validated the questions you have and stated to a physician regarding medications when it is your body.
I wouldn't worry about what they think of you.
The point is finding the medication you feel comfortable about taking that can work for you. Having anxiety about it and discussing it with a doctor is normal and you have a right to voice concerns and ask questions with a physician who is prescribing.
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Hello, pathwaytofree.
I've had anxiety for years, much worse before: I initially had therapy but after a negative experience, avoided that route and that's probably not a good idea. Support from those knowledgeable, practicing mindfulness, prayer, working on confidence building, putting boundaries in place, working on avoidance of toxic people and certainly avoidance of the likes of caffeine and nicotine are helpful for me. I have to work at it daily or I slide back.
I wonder if you'd be interested in learning about CBT and DBT? Here's one link to information about that: What?s the difference between CBT and DBT? I've often thought that might be helpful for me but, of course, I would check in with a professional first.
As far as asking questions: I've learned a whole heck of a lot through the years by asking questions and doing the research -- at first being shy and ashamed (conditioned response, I suppose), but eventually building confidence, no longer feel shame, and seeing the benefits of gaining knowledge and perspective. Your health and well being is your concern and you have every right to know what the plan is. Some folks just have attitudes such that they push back at people who ask questions -- that's on them.
I'm hoping this was helpful. Keep your chin up and forge ahead. Each day is an opportunity to get closer toward achieving calm and confidence.
I've had anxiety for years, much worse before: I initially had therapy but after a negative experience, avoided that route and that's probably not a good idea. Support from those knowledgeable, practicing mindfulness, prayer, working on confidence building, putting boundaries in place, working on avoidance of toxic people and certainly avoidance of the likes of caffeine and nicotine are helpful for me. I have to work at it daily or I slide back.
I wonder if you'd be interested in learning about CBT and DBT? Here's one link to information about that: What?s the difference between CBT and DBT? I've often thought that might be helpful for me but, of course, I would check in with a professional first.
As far as asking questions: I've learned a whole heck of a lot through the years by asking questions and doing the research -- at first being shy and ashamed (conditioned response, I suppose), but eventually building confidence, no longer feel shame, and seeing the benefits of gaining knowledge and perspective. Your health and well being is your concern and you have every right to know what the plan is. Some folks just have attitudes such that they push back at people who ask questions -- that's on them.
I'm hoping this was helpful. Keep your chin up and forge ahead. Each day is an opportunity to get closer toward achieving calm and confidence.
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Originally Posted by Anaya
Hello, pathwaytofree.
I've had anxiety for years, much worse before: I initially had therapy but after a negative experience, avoided that route and that's probably not a good idea.
Support from those knowledgeable, practicing mindfulness, prayer, working on confidence building, putting boundaries in place, working on avoidance of toxic people and certainly avoidance of the likes of caffeine and nicotine are helpful for me. I have to work at it daily or I slide back.
I wonder if you'd be interested in learning about CBT and DBT? Here's one link to information about that: What?s the difference between CBT and DBT? I've often thought that might be helpful for me but, of course, I would check in with a professional first.
As far as asking questions: I've learned a whole heck of a lot through the years by asking questions and doing the research -- at first being shy and ashamed (conditioned response, I suppose), but eventually building confidence, no longer feel shame, and seeing the benefits of gaining knowledge and perspective. Your health and well being is your concern and you have every right to know what the plan is. Some folks just have attitudes such that they push back at people who ask questions -- that's on them.
I'm hoping this was helpful.
Keep your chin up and forge ahead.
Each day is an opportunity to get closer toward achieving calm and confidence.
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Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
I think it is natural for most of us to feel anxiety when dealing with a physician, especially a new one, as they have a great deal of power over us, and we do see them when we are feeling either sick or vulnerable. I have another, physical, diagnosis that over the years has led me to be more direct, politely, about asking questions of my doctors, and I do not see that as either an insult to them nor evidence of weakness in myself due to lack of knowledge (as some physicians see us): it's my body and I want to be sure that I'm getting my voice heard. Good physicians are inclined to work with their patients, not lord over them like gods. Physicians today are also under a lot of pressure to run us through the mill of seeing many patients a day, and until they get to know us better it can be easy to misinterpret how they are relating to us. By explaining to your doctor why you were asking questions, you did an appropriate thing in being a partner in your healthcare decisions.
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Hey Path - just adding my support and encouragement for taking possession and proactive efforts for your own care. That's a tough one for most people - ie non alcoholics and the like... we are dealing with it for my step son's mental health needs and drs/meds/etc are still foreign to my husband despite seeing my care up close - and his ex wife is a whole other problem...and my orientation through hard won experience is a lot like yours.
Keep taking good care and working for growth like you are.
Keep taking good care and working for growth like you are.
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I don't know if existential therapy was mentioned prior in this thread - but I was investigating just that subject today and found a list of existential therapists in my area via Psychology Today website. It sounds helpful, and I welcome the opinions of others here.
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Originally Posted by Anaya
I don't know if existential therapy was mentioned prior in this thread - but I was investigating just that subject today and found a list of existential therapists in my area via Psychology Today website. It sounds helpful, and I welcome the opinions of others here.
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I just got a letter last week in which my psychiatrist for the last 20 years announced his retirement at the end of the year.
He has brought on 2 psychiatrists to assume his practice, in addition to their existing practices.
His office will assign me to one of the successors.
But it will all be new, particularly since the retiring psychiatrist and I have become close friends outside of the office, work out together in the gym, do things with our wives, etc.
Explaining to the new doctor the primacy of my sobriety will be one of many things that will involve plowing new ground with someone else.
He has brought on 2 psychiatrists to assume his practice, in addition to their existing practices.
His office will assign me to one of the successors.
But it will all be new, particularly since the retiring psychiatrist and I have become close friends outside of the office, work out together in the gym, do things with our wives, etc.
Explaining to the new doctor the primacy of my sobriety will be one of many things that will involve plowing new ground with someone else.
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SoberCAH I'm sorry your psychiatrist of 20 years is retiring. That's a long time to have a patient-doctor relationship. I've changed therapists in the same group due to retirement and another due to the type of counseling I wanted. Sometimes I'd just think "can't they just read the previous therapist's notes?" but I know now it's better for them to learn about us from a new set of eyes.
Plus I'm not the same person I was when I started with each therapist, so it's like a fresh start.
That's so cool you've become close friends with your psychiatrist outside of the office. There was one therapist I told I wished we could go out for tea, but that went against his patient/therapist boundaries. Oh well. I'm happy for you that you and he have become friends. I hope everything goes well with your new doctor.
Plus I'm not the same person I was when I started with each therapist, so it's like a fresh start.
That's so cool you've become close friends with your psychiatrist outside of the office. There was one therapist I told I wished we could go out for tea, but that went against his patient/therapist boundaries. Oh well. I'm happy for you that you and he have become friends. I hope everything goes well with your new doctor.
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