No option to quit?
 

Haven't posted in a while but I guess it's an idea to post a bit tonight.

Like i'v said before really. With alcohol I know it is an awful thing. I know it causes harm, yet it feels like i'm stuck.

On 1 side you have me with the anxiety and aspergers. I'v never been able to socialise properly. I worked before the depression got so bad, I'v also been a carer. 1 thing that is so true is never being able to make friends due to my health problems.

What I guess I learned is alcohol does something, it can mask symptoms. I go from "yeah" "oh" "yep" "mhm" in an awkward conversation to very chatty. To someone able to hold a full conversation, socialise better after having some drinks.

The essential part of it is before drinking like I do now, is I had my close family members (my mother and her brother, my uncle). No friends? Unable to socialise? Fine. I wasn't isolated, I got on with both of them well. They died though at young ages.

So then there's the other side....
Dead family, isolated, unable to socialise or make friends. There's actually nothing to keep me going. I feel rubbish every single day, depression, anxiety. I'm totally lost.

The NHS? Absolutely useless. I'v seen GP's, CMHT'S, Therapists, Primary mental health nurses, who all will either play things down, not understand or simply ignore the facts and stick to the "1 size fits all" treatment. So no help from them.


It's kind of like I have to take things into my own hands. Do I not drink ever again, live like a recluse, struggle to continue.....

Or..... Use alcohol go to pubs on busy weekend nights hoping that i'm in the right place at the right time with those symptoms reduced to meet some new friends, where I can fully socialise.


I'm actually inclined to some extent to pick the latter. Which becomes tricky as I know how much damage booze can cause, but.... it feels like what other choice is there?

I don't drink and I don't live a lonely isolated life. On the contrary, I have friends and family I see often. Just because someone is sober doesn't mean they have to be a recluse isolated from society.

A good sober life doesn't just fall into your lap. You have to make it the way you want it. Find what you like to do and enjoy your hobbies. :)

My life isn't perfect but I've never been happier. :)

Hi Sam, glad you posted.

I get what you are saying, I don't have aspergers (and i'm not an alcoholic) but I've done some basic research on aspergers so I get what you are saying about feeling very uncomfortable socializing and how alcohol works for you to overcome that.

The thing is, that's self-medicating and is that ever a good choice when the self-medication is so destructive?

If you are not receiving the help you need maybe you do need to help yourself, but maybe not with alcohol? I've watched some of this guy's videos, he has asp - you might find some points of interest here, he also has a video about help available in the UK vs the US, the different approaches. Perhaps you could even contact him and ask him where he sought help (since he is in the UK)?

Hope this helps a bit and please keep posting, interested to see what help you do find and your posts will no doubt help others.

I think with me I know exactly what id want to do in life with hobbies and everything. I love history, potentially museums and castles, coffee (decaf), holidays, football and various other things.

What it comes down to is my overall ability. Before family deaths (and the depression, PTSD, isolation and complex bereavement) I worked, I regularly tried going places and doing things. put myself in positions to potentially meet people, yet nothing ever came of it due to anxiety symptoms.

It's a bit like, if I went to a coffee shop, that should be fun right? A time to relax, savour the taste of a nice drink. My experiences are shaking, headache, stomach upset, cramp in legs, jumpy movements, brain fog and distress. It takes the enjoyment away and with symptoms like that, it's impossible to socialise.

The big part is the isolation does cause me distress and allows the depression to continue like it is. It's clearly out of my own hands to change it, even though i'v joined groups and tried going to various places.

There is a sense of urgency for me. The isolation, the depression, it's killing me. I need serious changes ASAP, yet as above, can't change my situation because of symptoms and lacking the skills.

Alcohol is that thing which allows me to walk into a busy pub on a friday/saturday evening, it reduces my symptoms hugely, stops me feeling on edge with anxiety symptoms. Then, i'm able to make small talk and engage with people.


I will have a look at that guy's video's. I guess it's where he has different circumstances (53k subs and adverts on his videos generating revenue), so it's a bit different with opportunities and options.

Absolutely, but he didn't always have that he made that in spite of the fact he has Aspergers.

I would definitely contact him if I were you, who knows what groups or help he has accessed that might be of use to you.

Are you currently drinking? Or struggling to to stay sober because of the rational you provide here:

You make it sound like alcohol is solving your social anxiety, yet in another part of your thread you wrote:

The isolation, the depression, it's killing me.

--AND--

So then there's the other side....
Dead family, isolated, unable to socialise or make friends.

Sounds to me like alcohol isn't really working. Sure, you can sit in a pub and drink, but you aren't making friends and you aren't really less isolated because your sociability is tied to drinking.

There are ways to deal with anxiety that don't rely on self-medicating with alcohol. You've haven't found those ways, but it doesn't mean they don't exist.

There's more to life than chatting it up in a pub over a beer. I hope you find it.