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Old 11-24-2018, 08:40 AM   #301 (permalink)
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There's no frustration, for 27 years I was told I was an alcoholic and needed to seek help, I laughed at that. Every one of us is different and unique in that it takes what it takes, I wasn't on a time clock to receive recovery and I don't expect anyone else to be. I talk to you, and everyone else I come into contact with, to share my experience, strength, and hope. Grace is available to everyone.
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Old 11-24-2018, 08:27 PM   #302 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daveycrockett View Post
I know the help is there if I ask but you know the story. In July 2016 my ex took me to the place I fear most and I was judged by the staff and also asked if I was homeless. They assumed because I was scruffy and didn't shower I was homeless. I told my story and the truth and they had my address.

I can't help but notice the holidays are happening all around me. The people here decorate and put lights and wreaths and things up. When I talk to my son we talk about Christmas and I bought him some gifts. I don't make the holidays important but it is a time for happiness and cheer and visiting relatives and friends.

I know I don't need to apologize but I can imagine you and Astro and others must at least get frustrated. I'm honestly a bit surprised anyone here is still talking to me. I don't know if I'll get the strength and courage to get help, I suppose time will tell.
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No, not frustrated, I think Astro said this so well:

Quote:
Every one of us is different and unique in that it takes what it takes, I wasn't on a time clock to receive recovery and I don't expect anyone else to be.
That's it, we are here for support.

Yes, gallbladder pain is absolutely terrible. It's also something that requires treatment. I know you have probably already googled it and already know all the information.

On the upside! Surgery to remove it is simple and the recovery time is a few weeks but is not overly painful (can be completely non-painful even) and basically requires an overnight stay at most (when done using laparoscopy). So should you need to act, please try to keep it in perspective as it is a common operation.

Now I know, none of that is even remotely comforting to you at all not even a little bit right now, just wanted to mention it in case you do decide to address it.

It's great to hear that you managed to clear more of the boxes out, that's huge progress. I know eating is difficult right now as well, but you are keeping at it and that will help a lot.

As for the holidays, are there people in your complex you could maybe invite over for short visits? Wasn't there that nice woman who made the cookies that time?
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Old 11-25-2018, 04:22 PM   #303 (permalink)
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With me no one has ever said anything to me about drinking. I've been an alcoholic for forty years and hid it well. I know I would feel good and more encouraged to get help if someone took an interest. I really do appreciate the comments and support.
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Old 11-25-2018, 04:41 PM   #304 (permalink)
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I did of course Google everything I could about what it could be and did it obsessively. I can't say for sure it is gallbladder but certainly seems that is what it is. I can't even think about doing something for it. Just thinking about it causes panic which is mostly terror. I don't think I could possibly be any more scared than thinking of that.

Alice is probably 85 and doesn't hear very well. She gave cookies to me a few times and she gave me hotdogs one day. She is a nice lady and there's another lady here about 50 who does a lot to help Alice. The people here think I'm a nut I'm sure. The other day I saw the guy downstairs outside and he just turned his back on me. I used to talk to him sometimes and at least always say hello.

I've still been eating yogurts and popsicles and juice and chicken soup. I made another pot of soup. I do definitely feel way better and somewhat stronger than a couple days ago. Every time I eat I'm scared that it'll start again. I live with a constant feeling of impending doom not to mention the anxiety and fear.

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Old 11-25-2018, 11:25 PM   #305 (permalink)
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Yes, the triggers are unpredictable with gallbladder, unfortunately, would be great if you could narrow it down but that's pretty impossible.

You have mentioned that people get an impression of you as homeless or a nut. You said when you went to get help they thought that because you looked un-kept. Perhaps people will find it easier to approach you if that's not the case. You mentioned one time that you were going to shave your head. Being clean shaven and cutting your hair might be just the ticket to making you look more approachable to people.

I'm not saying this because I think it matters what's on the outside, just saying it for you because I think it would be great if more people felt at ease talking to you.

So Alice is 85 and doesn't hear very well, she's probably lonely too. Maybe she likes to play scrabble or crib or gin or some other card game. My Mom was really sharp in her 80s and maybe Alice is too? She might be great to talk to (maybe she has a hearing aid she can turn up). Perhaps Alice or the woman that helps Alice might know of contacts (like social workers).

Anyway, just throwing some things out there that might make your life better/easier.
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Old 11-26-2018, 05:21 AM   #306 (permalink)
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I notice much that when I'm in public we turn our backs on each other, maybe we're afraid of the outcome or discomfort of talking to another person. But the reality is that when I open myself up and allow another to have a glimpse into my life, I can learn about theirs and a new relationship is formed. There are times when I enjoy being a homebody and hermit, but the true joy in my life comes from friendships and conversation, especially with other men who have struggled with addictions.
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Old 11-29-2018, 08:27 AM   #307 (permalink)
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Davey, I just want to let you know that I am here, reading this, and support you. I know you think it's beyond your capability to go get help. I have a question for you. What if you call ahead of time and explain that you really want to come get help, but have this phobia. See if a hospital social worker could be waiting for you as soon as you walk in the door. Maybe just call the hospital and ask for a social worker. I know it's hard, but I really feel if you could face these fears and get some medical treatment it would make a huge difference in the quality of your life.
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Old 12-03-2018, 12:08 PM   #308 (permalink)
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Hey Davey, how is it going. Hope you check in soon and let us know how you are doing.
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Old 12-04-2018, 09:38 AM   #309 (permalink)
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I don't know if this is valid but a friend posted on FB, thought I would share in the event you would be comfortable with this...

Did you know that if you text HOME to 741741 when you are feeling depressed or suicidal, a crisis worker will text you back immediately and continue to text with you? Many people, especially younger people, don't like talking on the phone and would feel much more comfortable texting. This is a free service for anyone.
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