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Anxiety & Mild Amnesia?

Old 12-21-2017, 05:49 PM
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Anxiety & Mild Amnesia?

I've been trying to tackle my anxiety for a while now, wrangle it up tie it down but honestly haven't had much luck, especially considering I've recently quit alcohol a short ~124 days ago. Considering alcohol was my way of self-medicating my day to day anxiety struggles for a few years I really have been noticing some things.

The primary things I've noticed is that with sobriety I'm learning that my anxiety isn't caused by any specific thing, no specific fear, it's a nervousness that doesn't go away unless I take a drink or use a benzo. (haven't used benzo since 2013 when I took a homemade pill that nearly killed me) That pill actually is what made me switch from marijuana & benzos to alcohol. I figured alcohol was my best bet because it's legal, I can buy it at the grocery store or gas station and it tastes good.

Here I am almost 4 years later lost, wondering who I am, where I've been and what I've done in my life. I have friends on facebook for example that I knew in school and through my childhood, yet for 90% of them I can only recall VERY brief flashbacks and only partial chunks of events. I literally feel I'm suffering from partial amnesia and intense anxiety disorder. I often question what I've done the last 24 years of my life and I very often wonder why i can't remember being at my neighbors house all my childhood playing games, swimming, jumping on trampolines, zip lining and all these things. I just have very, very short flashbacks and the rest is just not there.

If I think back to last year, or the year before I can't recall particular events, for some reason I feel like I suffer from some type of amnesia. I have had head trauma from car accidents and also football but I don't think I've had enough to cause this level of memory loss or degeneration.

Does anyone else suffering from severe anxiety have these type of symptoms? Lack of memories and a difficult time retaining certain information or events? I'm actually scared it might get worse and the anxiety of worrying about my anxiety has me thinking about going back to the bottle although i won't let that happen.

Any input is appreciated.
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Old 12-21-2017, 10:17 PM
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Are you currently seeing a therapist? If not I think it would be a great idea to start doing so.
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Old 12-22-2017, 04:13 AM
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I agree that considering seeing a specialist might be your next approach. When I ran out of ideas on my own a wellness provider had the solution I needed.

I'm glad you're reaching out for help.
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