ozm8ey

I have had generalised anxiety disorder and a few other issues for about 4 years now. My question is what woman would possibly want to date a guy who has anxiety issues? Is it even possible

MindfulMan

Don't obsess.

Have you seeked treatment for the GAD and whatever else you have?

The question isn't whether a woman would date someone with these issues. The question is how do you work on minimizing said issues.

You're phrasing that question in a way that's just going to make you more anxious.

Cognitive therapy did wonders for my anxiety. Medication can help, just be careful of benzos if you're an alcoholic.

Dee74

I think there's somewhere out there for everyone

We have to love ourselves first tho I think - cos if we don;t , it's a pretty tall order to ask someone else to.

It took a lot of time and effort for me to get to a point where I could start to love myself, but it was worth it. Don't give up on yourself or your dreams

D

Astro

Ah, yeah, I wondered at one time what woman would want to date an alcoholic in recovery with anxiety and depression issues. So much baggage to deal with! 4 years later I married a woman that had become my best friend and soulmate in life.

As Dee mentioned, the best plan for me is to heal and love myself first and leave the rest to God because He had someone in mind for me all along.

totfit

So, is it possible to get a girlfriend if human? We all have issues. Being human means that we are not in any way perfect, but instead have human characteristics. GAD and other "disorders" are just part of the human condition. Personally, I think we generally go way to far in labeling "conditions" when we need to accept any of our personal "issues" work on them with help or otherwise, but understand that is not who we are. We are just HUMAN. Yes, from my observations humans are capable of finding significant others.

SoberCAH

It was not an impediment for my wife.

She remembers me from the old days (the 1970's and early 1980's), when we dated (and when i was known to take a drink from time to time), and we have been back together for ~13 years now (married for the last 12 years).

My GAD is completely (and successfully) addressed with meds.

I have every confidence there is someone out there who will make you very happy and whom you will similarly make happy.

It's a great question.

My taking meds for GAD and depression is, to me, no different from people taking meds for diabetes and for high blood pressure.

Maybe even for psoriasis (since i see so many adds for this condition).

If i have a health issue that a pill will fix, it ain't no problem at all.

Minasia

QUOTE=Minasia;6764826]Ozm8ey,
I'm a female with OCD, I know I for one would have no issue seeing someone who also has a mental health issue such....I had a previous boyfriend who doesn't have any mental health issues but was willing to stand by me(we broke up bc he turned out to be gay our separation was not due to my mental health - therefore we you can find a woman whether she herself has a similar disorder to you or not , you are a loveable human being and there are women out there who will see that your positive qualities outweigh any negative impact of your anxiety [/QUOTE]

daredevil

anxiety causes greater self-awareness, and greater self-awareness comes off as intelligence, and women are drawn to men with self-awareness and intelligence (or self-awareness masquerading as intelligence). Thus, women are drawn to anxiety:-)

daredevil

I'm riddled with anxiety, existential and otherwise, and I do okay with women. I reckon they're drawn to one's entire person, and angst is just a part and parcel of that persona. Have faith my friend.

tyler

I have to admit I frequently ask myself the same question. I have been divorced for 14 years now and have not been on a single date since. My ex-wife and I were together from when I was 19 and she was 18 and together for 15 years there after. This was before most of my "issues" though she got to experience most of them first hand. I should note that she did not leave me, I asked for the divorce. At the time I had just attempted suicide and saw no future and did not want to put her through any more. She very reluctantly agreed.

In the long run it may have been for the best as it has taken me a long time to get to a somewhat sane place in my life and it would have been very difficult for her and my son. Well, it was still very difficult, but it probably would have been worse if I had been there.

I still love her very much (she has also not moved on to any kind of relationship) and I'm sure this has a good deal to do with my not wanting to "move on." But even when I do think about it, I just have a really hard time imagining anyone who would be interested in this 50 year old train wreck of a person!! Self confidence has always been a major issue for me, so I'm sure this doesn't help.

I know there is someone out there for everyone and maybe I'm just afraid to do the work to find someone. My biggest fear in life is failure and rejection and dating usually involves a good bit of that. I guess maybe the answer is that unless you invest the effort and energy and are not afraid of the possibility of rejection you probably will not find that person. If you don't reach out and try you will never know what happens.

Personally I still don't think I'm there. I am working on this with my therapist and even after 14 years divorced (though we get along well, I even stay at her house when I visit my son ever other week) I still hold out hope for us to get back together. I don't know if this will ever happen, or even if it is a good idea. I do love her, but part of me thinks I am just hoping for the path of least possible rejection. She cares for me, so she would never try to hurt me intentionally.

As usual, I have rambled on!! Short answer, yes, it is possible to get a girlfriend even if you have a mental illness. However, they are not likely to just come knocking at your door unsolicited. You have to get out there and try and be willing to fail. Hopefully I will get to the point that I can take my own advice. Take care.

Distorted Me

I have bipolar disorder, GAD, social anxiety disorder, PTSD from a messed up childhood. Didn't get properly diagnosed until recently but we always knew I had some mental issues. My wife is amazing for sticking with me (12 year anniversary next month!) but it's just proof that you can definitely find companionship no matter what your mental challenges are. Just relax and be yourself. Don't try to fake it. Be genuine and your best will shine through.

Herbie1991

Of course it is, you just need to find the right girl!! My boyfriend and the father to my beautiful little boy has absolutely no mental health issues. Me, however am an absolute nightmare! Suffered from anxiety from the age of six. Mainly health anxiety. Am on lots of meds for it. He is absolutely AMAZING baring in mind this guy has never experienced any form of mental health disorder and really you wouldn’t think he’d understand but he is so patient and kind with me and everything I could have ever wanted. You will find a girl who loves you for you and will see past all the horrible things going around in your mind! Remember anxiety doesn’t define you.

biminiblue

If you have access to streaming movies, look up "Black Snake Moon." It is an affirmation of the human spirit and the desire to be accepting and to be one-anothers' strength.

It's a little racy - but we're all adults here, right?

Patcha

I am a bag of snakes when it comes to mental health and I've never had a problem finding partners who loved me. There were other reasons the relationship didn't work, but my mental health wasn't one of them. I have a good therapist and work hard on my various issues. I don't share much about my mental health with people in early dating.