Bunny211

I am really, really suffering.
I am uncovering a lot of crap (with a sponsor and therapist) about being molested as a young child.
I am CONSTANTLY keyed up and on edge.
I recently (1 mo ago) started Wellbutrin, and it has made my anxiety and edginess 10x worse. Right now I am averaging 2-3 hours of sleep a night.
Sometimes I take propanolol for anxiety but it does not help much.
I am running my arse off because exercise does help...but the good feeling lasts while I run and for an hour after, and then I am back in the garbage.
Trying different meditation things too without much luck.
I've tried EMDR but did not feel better with that either. Might try it again.
Lately I am crying all the time and I feel like I am on the verge of a breadkdown.
I am off Friday for appointments (therapist and doc) and I KNOW I need a different med other than wellbutrin.
I do not trust anyone - not others, not myself, not God. I don't know what's real and what is made up in my head as a result of this trauma...I perceive everything as a life and death situation in which I must defend myself with everything I have.
What worked for you?
Thanks

Pathwaytofree

Hi Bunny,

I am sorry you are suffering like this.

Could you call your doctor sooner to let him know how little sleep you are getting on the Wellbutrin?

Also, is your therapist someone who specializes in sexual abuse?

My sponsor would tell me "PTF, look at where your feet are now. Stay in the present moment. What happened in the past has already happened. Don't let your mind replay it."

I hope in some way that helps. I wish I had more suggestions.

Be well.

SoberLeigh

((((Bunny))) I am so sorry that you are suffering; I am so sorry for childhood experience.

I hope that you (and your therapist) find the path which leads you to the ability to stand tall and recognize the strong and courageous woman that we see.

Sending love and good thoughts your way.

Forward12

I deal with bad mental health issues also and it for sure isn't fun. It can take a while to find the right meds/dosages that work. Therapy and meds are pretty much the 1-2 punch in getting things back on track.
Just let your therapist know the effects the medications are having on you and that you'd like to try something else. They should have no problem doing so.

Hopeful528

I had a bad reaction to Wellbutrin in the past.
I know nothing about all of your history so take this with a grain of salt.
But it's an activating medication compared to other ones. And can cause anger and rage, worsened anxiety in some people.

Maudcat

No advice today, Bunny, but you are in my thoughts.
Sending a fierce hug.

NClarke2017

Sending love. Post an update when you can, even if just to check in with us. We are thinking of you!