IWalkTheLine

Being sober is like torture, I can barely string 2 days together the evenings are hell. I have really dark thoughts (wonder if I was a good enough person to my mum before she died) that's a thought I really can't shift. And I was watching about the muslim in burma being hit with a stick and made to wait like children with a ticket in their hand for a small bowl of rice, they are going through hell. My life would be like paradise to them and I just can't be content. This is day one again, the problem is the withdrawal make me sick and tired so no matter how much stuff I have to do I feel to sick and tired to do It, which leads to intense boredom and the bad thoughts.

I can get by if I'm on my own, if other people are about it's harder because I have to be turned on for them, otherwise I get twenty questions. My dogs help I look at them and feel their love, they need to stimulants, just food, cuddles, and my company.

I feel like I will be stuck right here forever though if I don't make the break, I managed to quit the drink 4 years ago, that was the most destructive so that helps but until I'm totally clean I can't really progress.

Astro

How about making that decision to make a break and get unstuck? We're surrounded every day by examples that recovery does work!

CelticZebra

Making a plan to get and stay sober.
Staying sober.
The alcohol is making the depression worse no doubt.
Get help from those that can