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The Big Change is Coming

Old 07-29-2017, 09:15 PM
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The Big Change is Coming

The job that is gonna change my life for the better is coming up soon and I've got everything in order and waiting on the call, it's the best thing that could happen. 7 years no booze, 6 years no cocaine and 5 years no cigs, no skeletons in the closet. Gonna be moving from my home town where my addicted life started and the place has little job opportunities, doesn't even have a movie theater. This should be a time of rejoicing but I am about as miserable as a person could be. What is wrong with me?
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Old 07-29-2017, 10:00 PM
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Nefer- you have a solid recovery. In 29 days- it will mark 2 years since I burnt myself to death in a blackout. I lost my health, wife, 2 adult sons...bla. I ended up in a boarding house with criminal drug dealers blah. 7 addresses. Now I am 18m sober. Have secure housing and hope. And here comes the point.
The next week will see me go from supported recovery accommodation to my own little space with a lease under my name. Alone.
So all very good. BUT- I still am anxious because it is change. ANY change - good or bad- is emotional, which plays on our thinking and can alter how we see, think and do. So be careful to just focus on 1 thing at a time. If stuff gets delayed in transit- the world will still turn. Taking 5- to eat and hydrate will not make it happen any more slowly. Change takes time to adapt to. Remember to breathe, take you time to have breaks in driving, lifting heavy stuff. Keep a notebook in your pocket to write a running list of stuff that will pop up,. Remember HALTS and being mindful to look after yourself. Rest, eat, hydrate. Post here. Support to you.
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Old 07-30-2017, 03:09 AM
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I was already miserable at the end of
our street, little corner of the world
with 7 yrs sobriety and family when
I looked to the skies and prayed to
the heavens, to God that I will do
whatever YOU, my HP, want me to do.
That I would drop everything where I was
to follow YOU.

We transferred to Houston leaving
behind my familiarity and comfort
zone, AA family and support to be
where I must have needed to be at
that time in my life.

I immediately went to work locating
my AA meetings because I knew that
if I wanted to remain sober under all
circumstances I needed to connect to
AA and get my butt to meetings and
continue to incorporate an effective
program of recovery taught to me.

10 yrs in Houston, a nice city, but
would never be my home, I remained
sober but never forgot where I came
from and longed to return home one
day.

Sue enough, God, took care of me
every step of the way, given me what
I needed at each time until He finally
granted me a ticket back home to
BR where I never wanted to leave in
the first place.

I learned that things would never
happen in my time, but rather in His,
so I did my footwork and prayed for
His will to work in me.

I am still amazed at how I'm always
being taken care of as long as I do
my footwork in recovery.

You will be too.
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Old 07-30-2017, 08:43 AM
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12 years into my recovery I continue to have the occasional high anxiety, stress, and even a panic attack or two. Nobody guaranteed me this would be a smooth ride, and honestly that's what makes it so rewarding. An easy effortless life would be pretty boring.

One step at a time, one day at a time, one breath at a time. I wish you the best life has to offer, it's our reward for the dues we've paid to reach this point.
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Old 08-15-2017, 11:37 AM
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I agree. Every change is very stressful, even magnificent changes mess with my emotions to a shocking degree.

I actually found this thread while looking for someone else who is also sober AND miserable even though nothing is "wrong". Thanks for the thread. Shows me that even really significant recovery doesn't mean exemption. But you have (and I will have) the tools and skills. Very encouraging.
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Old 08-15-2017, 12:19 PM
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I'm feeling those emotions and thoughts too, with an impending change looming. Although it's a beneficial change, my inbuilt fear of change doesn't distinguish between positive and negative, it seems.

What I'm practising at the moment, when the negative thoughts and feelings strike - is to try detach from them and then mentally 'think aloud' and list the positive ways in which this change will impact me. This seems to lighten my mood and dull the sad feelings.
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Old 08-15-2017, 12:49 PM
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Phoenix, I overlooked the responses when replying to the OP. I wish both Neferkamichael and you, the very best of wishes for your impending moves to new accommodation!
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