Abuse

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06-22-2002, 02:11 PM

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Morning Glory

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Abuse

What is Emotional Abuse?

There is no universally accepted definition of emotional abuse. Like other forms of violence in relationships, emotional abuse is based on power and control. The following are widely recognized as forms of emotional abuse:

Rejecting - refusing to acknowledge a person's presence, value or worth; communicating to a person that she or he is useless or inferior; devaluing her/his thoughts and feelings. Example: repeatedly treating a child differently from siblings in a way that suggests resentment, rejection or dislike for the child.

Degrading - insulting, ridiculing, name calling, imitating and infantilizing; behaviour which diminishes the identity, dignity and self-worth of the person. Examples: yelling, swearing, publicly humiliating or labelling a person as stupid; mimicking a person's disability; treating a senior as if she or he cannot make decisions.

Terrorizing - inducing terror or extreme fear in a person; coercing by intimidation; placing or threatening to place a person in an unfit or dangerous environment. Examples: forcing a child to watch violent acts toward other family members or pets; threatening to leave, physically hurt or kill a person, pets or people she/he cares about; threatening to destroy a person's possessions; threatening to have a person deported or put in an institution; stalking.

Isolating - physical confinement; restricting normal contact with others; limiting freedom within a person's own environment. Examples: excluding a senior from participating in decisions about her or his own life; locking a child in a closet or room alone; refusing a female partner or senior access to her or his own money and financial affairs; withholding contact with grandchildren; depriving a person of mobility aids or transportation. 

Corrupting/Exploiting - socializing a person into accepting ideas or behaviour which oppose legal standards; using a person for advantage or profit; training a child to serve the interests of the abuser and not of the child. Examples: child sexual abuse; permitting a child to use alcohol or drugs; enticing a person into the sex trade.

Denying Emotional Responsiveness - failing to provide care in a sensitive and responsive manner; being detached and uninvolved; interacting only when necessary; ignoring a person's mental health needs. Examples: ignoring a child's attempt to interact; failing to show affection, caring and/or love for a child; treating a senior who lives in an institution as though she/he is an object or "a job to be done."

• Emotional abuse accompanies other forms of abuse, but also may occur on its own. 

• No abuse - neglect, physical, sexual or financial - can occur without psychological consequences. Therefore all abuse contains elements of emotional abuse. 

• Emotional abuse follows a pattern; it is repeated and sustained. If left unchecked, abuse does not get better over time. It only gets worse.

• Like other forms of violence in relationships, those who hold the least power and resources in society, for example, women and children, are most often emotionally abused. 

• Emotional abuse can severely damage a person's sense of self-worth and perception.

• In children, emotional abuse can impair psychological development, including: intelligence, memory, recognition, perception, attention, imagination and moral development. Emotional abuse can also affect a child's social development and may result in an impaired ability to perceive, feel, understand and express emotions. _____________________________________________ _____________ Emotional Abuse Emotional abuse has much in common with verbal abuse in that it is an attempt to hurt, attack or control the victim. The emotional abuser often uses verbal abuse to hurt the victim, but can use other means as well. Some of these are described below. <ul> </li>[*] Domination by the abuser, who sets up the environment so that she is always in control. </li>[*] Intimidation which plays on the victim's guilt, fear, compassion and values to get him to behave in ways that are contrary to his wishes and desires. </li>[*] Abusive expectations in which unreasonable demands are placed upon the victim. No matter how much he gives it is never enough. The victim is made to feel guilty because he never fulfils the abuser's needs perfectly. </li>[*] Unpredictable responses which are drastic mood changes or sudden emotional outbursts. [/list]<hr noshade size="1"> Verbal Abuse Verbal abuse is the use of words to attack, hurt or injure someone, or to gain power and control over them, or to persuade someone to believe something that is untrue and harmful. <ul> </li>[*] Withholding Information and not listening empathetically prevents the proper level of intimacy in the relationship from developing. </li>[*] Countering contradicts what the other person says; the abuser refuses to accept that the victim's point of view may be valid. </li>[*] Discountingthe victim's feelings of hurt at the abuse implies that there is something wrong with the victim if he feels that way. </li>[*] Disguising verbal abuse as a joke again invalidates the victim's perceptions. </li>[*] Blocking and diverting allows the abuser to avoid discussing things that the victim believes are important. </li>[*] Accusing and blaming the victim unfairly can make the victim believe that she has caused the abuse. </li>[*] Trivializing the victim's thoughts, ideas and achievements can make the victim feel worthless. </li>[*] Undermining of the victim by the abuser erodes the patient's self confidence. </li>[*] Every threat made by the abuser is a form of control. The abuser plays on the victim's deepest fears. </li>[*] Forgetting promises, agreements or previous discussions prevents the victim from talking to the abuser about his behaviour. </li>[*] Denialis a stronger form of forgetting: the abuser denies that any abuse has ever taken place, invalidating the victim's reality and perceptions. </li>[*] Abusive Anger allows the abuser to release tension and feel power over his victim but increases the victim's anxiety and feelings of failure. [/list]