Trying to maintain
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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Trying to maintain
I quit Tramadol 26 days ago- Xanax 19 days ago. Feeling very shaky since yesterday- there is a lot going on.
Having a really tough time dealing with stress and anxiety. There are some things happening in my home, and I am not dealing with it well. Im frustrated. Having using dreams ( drinking of all things, and that was never my drug of choice) - then just early this morning, had a dream I was shot in a parking garage ( that now makes 2 nightmares which take place in a parking garage). So, no good sleep, and just not feeling well.
Anyway- I dont want to go into the issues- because its too long and complex. I just want to know how to deal with constant stress, and how to manage my anxiety better. Ive tried to meditate- I go for walks- read- watch a movie - but its the issue in the home that is hard to control, and I am not doing a good job. My home should be my place of peace, and I cant leave. I have a family to watch over.
Is there anything anyone can offer? What has worked for some?
Having a really tough time dealing with stress and anxiety. There are some things happening in my home, and I am not dealing with it well. Im frustrated. Having using dreams ( drinking of all things, and that was never my drug of choice) - then just early this morning, had a dream I was shot in a parking garage ( that now makes 2 nightmares which take place in a parking garage). So, no good sleep, and just not feeling well.
Anyway- I dont want to go into the issues- because its too long and complex. I just want to know how to deal with constant stress, and how to manage my anxiety better. Ive tried to meditate- I go for walks- read- watch a movie - but its the issue in the home that is hard to control, and I am not doing a good job. My home should be my place of peace, and I cant leave. I have a family to watch over.
Is there anything anyone can offer? What has worked for some?
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
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Got a backyard or balcony, a way to get outside for fresh air and sunshine when it's not overcast? Being outdoors relieves stress and anxiety for me every time.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
The long healing process from using takes time.
If your home life is unbearable, can you just leave for a while? Is there some way for you to start planning to leave permanently - if it's that bad? I don't know how old you are, but there are meetings for those who live with addicted people, they are called AlAnon or AlaTeen. They understand and can give you a place to go and people to support you until you can get out on your own.
If your home life is unbearable, can you just leave for a while? Is there some way for you to start planning to leave permanently - if it's that bad? I don't know how old you are, but there are meetings for those who live with addicted people, they are called AlAnon or AlaTeen. They understand and can give you a place to go and people to support you until you can get out on your own.
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Originally Posted by Astro 
Got a backyard or balcony, a way to get outside for fresh air and sunshine when it's not overcast? Being outdoors relieves stress and anxiety for me every time.
I like being outside too.
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Originally Posted by biminiblue
The long healing process from using takes time.
If your home life is unbearable, can you just leave for a while? Is there some way for you to start planning to leave permanently - if it's that bad? I don't know how old you are, but there are meetings for those who live with addicted people, they are called AlAnon or AlaTeen. They understand and can give you a place to go and people to support you until you can get out on your own.
If your home life is unbearable, can you just leave for a while? Is there some way for you to start planning to leave permanently - if it's that bad? I don't know how old you are, but there are meetings for those who live with addicted people, they are called AlAnon or AlaTeen. They understand and can give you a place to go and people to support you until you can get out on your own.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Georgia
Posts: 576
Liebe...Have the exact same issue here...Quit drinking 8 months ago , and am still riddled with relentless anxiety..Mainly at home...Breathing exercises help , but nothing seems to calm me down for long...At home with wife and 3 kids and I am all wound up to the point that my chest hurts most of the time..
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: California
Posts: 164
I'm logged into tonight because I was feeling so much anxiety after spending too much time with my spouse. Work stress is high, then spent time with my spouse and I was getting crazy. Its an awful feeling the seems to come up from my core.
I had to get away, and I am back on this board because there isn't an Al-anon meeting near by. I think I am going to take a warm bath and then listen to a recovery pod cast (close as I can get to a meeting).
In answer to your question, I think acknowledging the feeling and getting a break for quiet, and listening to recovery talk help. I'm feeling better, anyway.
I had to get away, and I am back on this board because there isn't an Al-anon meeting near by. I think I am going to take a warm bath and then listen to a recovery pod cast (close as I can get to a meeting).
In answer to your question, I think acknowledging the feeling and getting a break for quiet, and listening to recovery talk help. I'm feeling better, anyway.
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Originally Posted by Nofearnobeer
Liebe...Have the exact same issue here...Quit drinking 8 months ago , and am still riddled with relentless anxiety..Mainly at home...Breathing exercises help , but nothing seems to calm me down for long...At home with wife and 3 kids and I am all wound up to the point that my chest hurts most of the time..
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Originally Posted by Learning how
I'm logged into tonight because I was feeling so much anxiety after spending too much time with my spouse. Work stress is high, then spent time with my spouse and I was getting crazy. Its an awful feeling the seems to come up from my core.
I had to get away, and I am back on this board because there isn't an Al-anon meeting near by. I think I am going to take a warm bath and then listen to a recovery pod cast (close as I can get to a meeting).
In answer to your question, I think acknowledging the feeling and getting a break for quiet, and listening to recovery talk help. I'm feeling better, anyway.
I had to get away, and I am back on this board because there isn't an Al-anon meeting near by. I think I am going to take a warm bath and then listen to a recovery pod cast (close as I can get to a meeting).
In answer to your question, I think acknowledging the feeling and getting a break for quiet, and listening to recovery talk help. I'm feeling better, anyway.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
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Originally Posted by Liebe
One of my issues since I quit everything ( drugs) this summer is----do I go to AlAnon or NA, AA?
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Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: PA
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A couple of things to add. . . . if a day late.
Using dreams, I've heard, are often a sign that your body is getting "used" to not having substances. So it dreams about it. I've have heard that sober alcoholics often report having drinking dreams 2-4 years into being sober.
Simply put, anxiety is an obsession of the mind.
In the mind, an event can be something that actually happened, might happen, or might have happened. It doesn't have to real for the mind to obsess about it.
Like someone might obsess over, "what if the train crashes because I'm on it?" So they will never get on trains. Planes, cars, buses, are all fine.
Exactly why the brain get struck on one thing and not another, or even stuck at all is never for the same reason. So "why" is almost a mute point.
But the solution is also the same way. Process.
I look at some of those crazy sky divers and think to myself, I would just rather die to risk dying that way.
But that is point they have conquered. They are not afraid to die. They don't necessarily want to, but they understand that standing on a sidewalk waiting for bus is actually more dangerous then jumping out of perfectly good airplane.
So one might be terrified of germs, but if they get over being scared of being sick, then germs are less threatening.
Al-anon helps us people that have "processing issues" process our stuff. We talk about it and work the steps.
If we don't process our stuff, the brain brings the message back over and over. Like, "what if someone breaks in?" We don't know. So the brain brings it back again and again so we can process it, because "we don't know" isn't an answer.
Many people struggle with these obsessions but then they buy an alarm system, or a baseball bat, or a dog, and that is their solution. They did something. The brain stops messing with them.
There are sick people in religions, but religion offers methods of process that have worked for thousands of years. Like, "pray that no one breaks in." While we don't have a study on the effectiveness of pray against break ins, we have studies that show that turning things over to a "high power" does help people with mental illnesses.
When we cannot really do anything about it, turning it over to god is the best thing we can do. If there is something we can do, we should do it. But setting boundaries in life is also an internal process. There is only so much you can do and you leave the rest to God.
The more you can do this, the less anxiety will haunt you. Having lived in fear of someone "freaking out" over just about anything, I realized that I cannot control them anymore then I can control the rain. I realized, I can survive the rain.
Using dreams, I've heard, are often a sign that your body is getting "used" to not having substances. So it dreams about it. I've have heard that sober alcoholics often report having drinking dreams 2-4 years into being sober.
Simply put, anxiety is an obsession of the mind.
In the mind, an event can be something that actually happened, might happen, or might have happened. It doesn't have to real for the mind to obsess about it.
Like someone might obsess over, "what if the train crashes because I'm on it?" So they will never get on trains. Planes, cars, buses, are all fine.
Exactly why the brain get struck on one thing and not another, or even stuck at all is never for the same reason. So "why" is almost a mute point.
But the solution is also the same way. Process.
I look at some of those crazy sky divers and think to myself, I would just rather die to risk dying that way.
But that is point they have conquered. They are not afraid to die. They don't necessarily want to, but they understand that standing on a sidewalk waiting for bus is actually more dangerous then jumping out of perfectly good airplane.
So one might be terrified of germs, but if they get over being scared of being sick, then germs are less threatening.
Al-anon helps us people that have "processing issues" process our stuff. We talk about it and work the steps.
If we don't process our stuff, the brain brings the message back over and over. Like, "what if someone breaks in?" We don't know. So the brain brings it back again and again so we can process it, because "we don't know" isn't an answer.
Many people struggle with these obsessions but then they buy an alarm system, or a baseball bat, or a dog, and that is their solution. They did something. The brain stops messing with them.
There are sick people in religions, but religion offers methods of process that have worked for thousands of years. Like, "pray that no one breaks in." While we don't have a study on the effectiveness of pray against break ins, we have studies that show that turning things over to a "high power" does help people with mental illnesses.
When we cannot really do anything about it, turning it over to god is the best thing we can do. If there is something we can do, we should do it. But setting boundaries in life is also an internal process. There is only so much you can do and you leave the rest to God.
The more you can do this, the less anxiety will haunt you. Having lived in fear of someone "freaking out" over just about anything, I realized that I cannot control them anymore then I can control the rain. I realized, I can survive the rain.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Liebe,
Just saw your post.
I applaud your stopping the pills. I know some folks need them forever and I do empathize.
There is an audio book...from Panic to power.
It helped me get some ideas about dealing w...basically agoraphobia when I quit drinking.
Bottom line from this book for me was...anxiety, stress, fear etc are pent up energy. How we react to them is our decision. Fight or flight.
So now that you are off the pills, the feeling are going to ramp up. I am 16 months free of booze. My emotions were off the chart for about 9 months...not all the time though.
I had peaceful times each day. I would try and bask in those. I got used to the stress feeling and slowly....they have subsided. It takes patience.
Lots of deep breathing, healthy eating, exercise, sleep, sleep, sleep.
Hope this helps.
Just saw your post.
I applaud your stopping the pills. I know some folks need them forever and I do empathize.
There is an audio book...from Panic to power.
It helped me get some ideas about dealing w...basically agoraphobia when I quit drinking.
Bottom line from this book for me was...anxiety, stress, fear etc are pent up energy. How we react to them is our decision. Fight or flight.
So now that you are off the pills, the feeling are going to ramp up. I am 16 months free of booze. My emotions were off the chart for about 9 months...not all the time though.
I had peaceful times each day. I would try and bask in those. I got used to the stress feeling and slowly....they have subsided. It takes patience.
Lots of deep breathing, healthy eating, exercise, sleep, sleep, sleep.
Hope this helps.
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Posts: 155
LordChallen- thank you. Your post is well received this anxious morning.
I hate my anxiety. Normally, I wake up everyday at 6:00am no matter what. Today, I reset my alarm, tried to lie there and get my mind calm. Telling myself the things I heard in my Al Anon meeting yesterday. Knowing what I NEED to do- but somehow the effect doesnt last. Its frustrating.
Interesting what you said about using dreams- that makes me feel better about having them. If I know my body is getting used to being without substances, having those dreams isnt as bothersome.
The process, yes- that goes back the the aforementioned statement about knowing what I NEED to do- The frustration comes with the lack of results because here I am again this morning- WORRIED. Funny you mention fear of break ins- I have that. I too believe in action- so I got an alarm. Helps, but not as much as Id like. Also, since the 8th of Aug- we had an outbreak of those little house ants- I HATE THEM. Im so scared of bugs and it caused me to really freak out- to the point of getting dizzy, sick to my stomach. I just used my kitchen again last night and its been over 2 weeks since I had. I look like a weirdo to my family. I mean, they REALLY freak me out and make me hate living here. I already struggle living in the home I live in, and that just makes it so much worse. But, the action was- calling the pest control- and it took a while to get it under control. They dont use the word "exterminate" any longer cause there are no guarantees with this type of pest. I am OCD clean in my house and even the tech mentioned how clean I am ( isnt that the trait of every ACOA?) so I hate mentioning I have ants. Im still hesitant to open the dishwasher, stand in the kitchen for long. Makes me sad cause I dont want it to bother me so much- but it does.
In recovery, the serenity prayer mentions acceptance. That's where I get hung up too. Accepting the things I cannot change- knowing the difference is where Im stuck. I feel like I can change everything but the past so Im a little under ok there- but Im all about damage control. How do I let go of these obsessions? I try giving it to God- but I feel its given right back to me with my mind obsessions.
I hate my anxiety. Normally, I wake up everyday at 6:00am no matter what. Today, I reset my alarm, tried to lie there and get my mind calm. Telling myself the things I heard in my Al Anon meeting yesterday. Knowing what I NEED to do- but somehow the effect doesnt last. Its frustrating.
Interesting what you said about using dreams- that makes me feel better about having them. If I know my body is getting used to being without substances, having those dreams isnt as bothersome.
The process, yes- that goes back the the aforementioned statement about knowing what I NEED to do- The frustration comes with the lack of results because here I am again this morning- WORRIED. Funny you mention fear of break ins- I have that. I too believe in action- so I got an alarm. Helps, but not as much as Id like. Also, since the 8th of Aug- we had an outbreak of those little house ants- I HATE THEM. Im so scared of bugs and it caused me to really freak out- to the point of getting dizzy, sick to my stomach. I just used my kitchen again last night and its been over 2 weeks since I had. I look like a weirdo to my family. I mean, they REALLY freak me out and make me hate living here. I already struggle living in the home I live in, and that just makes it so much worse. But, the action was- calling the pest control- and it took a while to get it under control. They dont use the word "exterminate" any longer cause there are no guarantees with this type of pest. I am OCD clean in my house and even the tech mentioned how clean I am ( isnt that the trait of every ACOA?) so I hate mentioning I have ants. Im still hesitant to open the dishwasher, stand in the kitchen for long. Makes me sad cause I dont want it to bother me so much- but it does.
In recovery, the serenity prayer mentions acceptance. That's where I get hung up too. Accepting the things I cannot change- knowing the difference is where Im stuck. I feel like I can change everything but the past so Im a little under ok there- but Im all about damage control. How do I let go of these obsessions? I try giving it to God- but I feel its given right back to me with my mind obsessions.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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Posts: 155
Di22y,
Congratulations on 16 months! I see you mentioned PAWS- interesting. I am reading about that now. I know that is going to take patience. Question is, can my family take it? Im all over the place. When I cannot control my feelings, I retreat into my computer room, away from everyone. I dont like that much but I feel like I have to protect at least my older son. I know he worries about me- but wont really talk about feelings . Hes a tough one. I feel like I have made him learn how to be anxious, and for that, I feel guilty.
I too think that anxiety can be pent up energy and I do feel better when I exercise. I just have to watch it- with chronic pain its important to exercise, but I cant over do it so when the weather permits, I walk more often.
Thanks for the book suggestion. I always like those. Good to know feelings will subside- patience is what I need a lot of now. I worry that my mind is damaged in some way- on bad days, I wonder if I will ever be ok. I can see how people just give up, but I want the strength to keep going. Its hard when most of the people in your life have no idea what you're going through- they just see whats on the surface and make judgments. That's been tough for me.
Congratulations on 16 months! I see you mentioned PAWS- interesting. I am reading about that now. I know that is going to take patience. Question is, can my family take it? Im all over the place. When I cannot control my feelings, I retreat into my computer room, away from everyone. I dont like that much but I feel like I have to protect at least my older son. I know he worries about me- but wont really talk about feelings . Hes a tough one. I feel like I have made him learn how to be anxious, and for that, I feel guilty.
I too think that anxiety can be pent up energy and I do feel better when I exercise. I just have to watch it- with chronic pain its important to exercise, but I cant over do it so when the weather permits, I walk more often.
Thanks for the book suggestion. I always like those. Good to know feelings will subside- patience is what I need a lot of now. I worry that my mind is damaged in some way- on bad days, I wonder if I will ever be ok. I can see how people just give up, but I want the strength to keep going. Its hard when most of the people in your life have no idea what you're going through- they just see whats on the surface and make judgments. That's been tough for me.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Liebe,
My wife and son are happy I quit drinking.
My wife told me to stop talking about how glad I am to be clean.
She says...it is over....forget about it...drinking that is...lol...
She has no idea how horrible it was for me. No idea.
When i was 6 years old I drank more in a week that she has drank in her 47 years.
This booze and drug problem we have is as serious as a heart attack.
Keep reading, posting, and try to help folks.
Staying active on SR and moderate exercise was how I got 16 clean months.
My wife and son are happy I quit drinking.
My wife told me to stop talking about how glad I am to be clean.
She says...it is over....forget about it...drinking that is...lol...
She has no idea how horrible it was for me. No idea.
When i was 6 years old I drank more in a week that she has drank in her 47 years.
This booze and drug problem we have is as serious as a heart attack.
Keep reading, posting, and try to help folks.
Staying active on SR and moderate exercise was how I got 16 clean months.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Unknown
Posts: 155
It IS serious, and we need to talk about it. Glad you are on SR.
Your wife sounds like my husband- he says the same thing----move on. He has also had substance abuse problems, so those comments puzzle me when he says them. I think they just dont want us pulled away from them- maybe? I dont know. Maybe they just dont want another minute spent on the alcohol/ drugs - but they need to know how important their support is.
He doesnt have a clue how tough getting off the pills were for me- it was physically tough and still mentally tough. I struggle so much.
Tonight when I couldnt sleep, I got on here to read - seeing messages from supporters I have on here is priceless. Nothing worse than a 1:00am worried mind- but I signed on, and read- It helps so much. Thank you.
Your wife sounds like my husband- he says the same thing----move on. He has also had substance abuse problems, so those comments puzzle me when he says them. I think they just dont want us pulled away from them- maybe? I dont know. Maybe they just dont want another minute spent on the alcohol/ drugs - but they need to know how important their support is.
He doesnt have a clue how tough getting off the pills were for me- it was physically tough and still mentally tough. I struggle so much.
Tonight when I couldnt sleep, I got on here to read - seeing messages from supporters I have on here is priceless. Nothing worse than a 1:00am worried mind- but I signed on, and read- It helps so much. Thank you.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
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I remember those days of being on SR at 2:00 AM reading away, not able to sleep because my mind was racing almost as fast as my heartbeat. Thank God for this site. 11 years later it's still a daily part of my recovery program.
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