How do you explain your anxiety to family/friends?
 

I've had it horribly for over 15 years. My family and wife have asked me several times what it feels like, or to compare it to something. I'm clueless. Everyone gets it to an extent from time to time, but obviously what we discuss here, panic attacks, inability to function, etc., is much worse.

i don't really explain it as such I try breathing exercises to help & general exercise is really helping me at the moment

I have tried things like cbt group therapy reading & just organised some counselling

do any of them sound helpful ?

I've been taking Paxil and Buspar for years. I also take vitamin B, do the breathing, etc.
I was just curious how everyone else explains it to their spouse, family, etc.

I don't so much try to explain what it feels like, but my family and recovery friends can understand what I do to overcome it, they can see the peaceful effects of an AA meeting, church, or an activity that brings me comfort. My children and wife often join me in service work, and they too benefit from it.

I have never told my family about my anxiety attacks. Just try deep breathing exercises it helps.

Most everyone has experienced anxiety at some time, whether it be jumping out of a bad dream with your heart pounding, or (most people) have felt nervous when anticipating talking in front of a group of people.

I've used those comparisons when explaining to my Father (the last 16 years I've had anxiety and agoraphobia). Except for me, and many other anxiety sufferers, that climax doesn't always even out like with someone who doesn't suffer anxiety attacks. I explain it's exhausting physically, mentally and emotionally to feel thay way on a constant basis.

I never have the occasion to explain it to family, but I tell others it's like waiting for biopsy results.

So true! Being on the edge of your seat, and not even knowing why...

I say to them that I feel like I'm in a jungle and a tiger is chasing me and I need to run or die.. but there's no tiger... and I know it! Even if I know there is no tiger that doesn't make the feeling go away. That's when I have an panic attack..

And yes.. day to day anxiety is like waiting for biopsy result.. you feel like something bad will happen and you're not sure what it will be. At the same time the reasoning-me know it's not true... but the feeling-me doesn't.

So I tell them there's nothing they can do (no action nor word) to make the feeling stop completely... But if they stay with me, if they are patient, if they smile, love me and take care that would make a huge difference and it will be more easy to breath, focus and calm myself.
My bf used to try to solve my anxiety like it was a puzzle but no.. It's not like that..
Now he understand more and when I'm anxious he is present and patient.

I really like some of the ways people have already posted!

When I found out that not only have anxiety and depression, I also have bipolar type my mom instantly read everything there was possibly to read on it. She asked my permission to meet with my counselor on her own so she could asked questions and find out even more information.

What I normally say is it is almost like you are experiencing the "flight or fight" reaction but there is nothing to fight or flight to. For bipolar most people already can imagine the ups and downs, the only thing I add is one day everything is good, you wake up and you are so depressed you cant get out of bed and vice versa. If people want to know more than that, I tell them that there is a lot of information they can look up and read on google.

JasonS - so many good recommendations. Hang in there!

i feel you with that, my wife when i have a panic attack, she just looks at me with a look of i dont even know whats going on, but its hard i think everyones panic/anxitey is diffrent, but i always chalk it up to being nervous, most ppl understand what nervous or being nervous is or means

its when your really nervous or really scared, panic attacks on the other hand, its very hard to explain unless they are in your shoes, we all know that, but to me as long as they are there to help no explanation is needed... im 34 and didnt even know what anxiety was till my mid 20s, thats why i always just say being really nervous, because that what i always though i was, just a really nervous child and worried about eveything...

hope that helps

Full blown panic attacks for me is that feeling of barely missing a head on collision. You are okay, but that feeling is there and you don't know why. Anxiety is the anticipation of that head on that you know is coming, just hasn't yet.

I will say, though, for me, I'm not nearly as anxious now, sober, than I was when I was drinking. I though back then that alcohol helped my anxious feeling. Not true, it made it worse. I see that now. And I can't think of one panic attack I've had in the past 6 months of sobriety.

I always just explain the biggest ways it (social anxiety specifically) hinders my life. I feel like if I just say that I am feeling nervous or something that people brush it under the rug and minimize. I usually bring up several specific instances of how debilitating it can be:
- Can't check out in the grocery store without having panic attacks sometimes.
- Afraid to get a haircut because I am "stuck" there and start freaking out, and sometimes have to make multiple trips to the bathroom to try and calm down.
- It hinders my job performance because I sometimes start having a panic attack in the middle of dealing with a customer. I usually break into a sweat and start shaking when this happens which makes it noticeable and embarrassing.
- Afraid to meet friends for coffee or dinner because of the whole "being trapped" in that situation thing. This leads me to isolate and have serious trouble making friends.
- Gives me insomnia on a regular basis.
- I can't eat a lot of the time because my stomach is constantly in knots from the anxiety. I have taken to drinking Slimfast in the mornings before work due to anxiety about my job.
I always like to mention the last one if someone thinks I am "just being dramatic". It is hard for those who are ignorant about mental health to tell you to just "relax" or "just think positive thoughts" when your body is going into such a high stress mode that it makes you unable to stomach food. That's obviously not normal.