Winslow

Anybody get this in recovery? I get it off and on,always makes me feel crazy cuz its so hard to get back in my body, its caused relapse before cuz I'd always think I'd rather be drunk than crazy😕 all input appreciated

soberaccountant

Hi Winslow,

I don't think you're crazy. The funny thing is that I know that feeling all too well. I feel the life I am living right now is not really mine. That all I have been doing is watching this other person in my body ruin my life these last few months. I have felt disconnected from who I am because I am not who I have strived all my life to be.

I guess I want to say that you shouldn't feel alone in this, I am sure many people feel the way you and I do. I don't know if it will help you, but what has helped me so far these last few months was making a list of not what I am or am observing at present, but who I want to be. Some of the things I have focused on:

-Who I want to be.
-How will I get there.
-What I am now, or am observing now.
-How I can change that person.
-If I cannot change it, how can I learn to accept it.

Remember that if you cannot change it right now, it is likely something you can change in the future. Don't let this disconnect make you want to relapse. Again, you're not crazy...people like you and I have probably seen and been through so much things in our lives that it became so overwhelming. Rather than putting an end to it, we've disconnected and observed...Not it is time for us to take our lives back one day at a time and be the individuals we truly want to be.

Winslow

Figured I better follow up on how I dealt with this that day,after posting,Idecided"oh hell no!"I'm not dealing with this today! I fast walked between the kitchen and living room for 30 minutes,had a shot of apple cider vinegar in ice cold water,then drank about3 liters of ice water with lemon,feeling passed thank goodness, I'm trying everything I can to deal with uncomfortable feelings,I do not want to ever feel like alcohol is an option

Winslow

Anxiety has been ruthless lately,not sure if its being spurred on by something that I'm taking,something that I'm not taking,if my mind is used to being anxious so its replaying it, withdrawal still,grrr

Nofearnobeer

Hmmm. Yeah. This on top of a bunch of other stuff...mainly due to anxiety and sleep deprivation and dragging myself through a few too many crisis's. I am here. Mind mind is way off somewhere else... I read that it's some weird automated coping mechanism...OK...so where is the off switch located for this mechanism? All current threats have subsided so wouldn't ya think that the sympathetic nervous system disengage??

Dee74

Hope you both have a more peaceful end to the week

D