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I'm living Benzo free Part 3

Old 05-26-2016, 05:27 AM
  # 261 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by melki View Post
I LOVE rain. Love it. Love it, love it, love it. We've had the rainiest spring ever. I think I was the only one happy about it. I would be perfectly content in Seattle, does it really rain as much there as they say it does?
Right there with ya and I'll take snow too! Now what the heck am I doing in Phoenix? Well, hopefully we'll have an active monsoon season this summer, although in years past it's been more of a "non-soon".

My dream is to move 95 miles north to the small town of Payson where they get all 4 seasons and good amounts of rain & snow. Someday.....
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Old 05-26-2016, 06:06 AM
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Where you talking about Australia being rainy or Seattle, melki? Told you I was tired.

We have Mount Kosciuszko in the Snowy Mountains further south in NSW. Part of a national park. It is certainly not the Alps, that for sure. Agree with you about the news. I must have been really tired to have Johnny Depp even enter my mind

He tried to smuggle two of his little dogs into Australia by not declaring them on entry. Must have thought he was Johnny Depp or something. haha.

I've never even seen snow. Looks really good in pictures and stuff. Santa fantasy.

Hi Astro. Hope you're doing well.
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Old 05-26-2016, 06:55 AM
  # 263 (permalink)  
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I was talking about Seattle but I really enjoyed learning about Australia. Steely, I looked it up - you can find snow in Australia. You even have skiing resorts. Add that to your bucket list.

Astro, I'm with you, like my seasons, and Phoenix felt sooo strange. At least it's dry, humid heat is worse.
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Old 05-26-2016, 11:47 AM
  # 264 (permalink)  
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In our local news this week??? A man that lives a few miles from our house was arrested this week for trying to kidnap a teenage girl. She took a ride from him and when he locked all the doors, she unlocked hers and jumped outta the moving van.

Turned out to be the best decision of her life because they found handcuffs, a handgun w/the serial # scratched off, needles w/sedatives in them and rope in his van. And now he's also been charged with the murder of an unsolved murder of a woman that was battered and shot in the head 3yrs ago.

He's also most likely responsible for the disappearance of a young woman from her job at a gas station 2yrs ago. Her blood was found outside, but there were no video cameras installed at that station. His van matches the description given by a couple nearby and the police sketch was pretty close to his likeness. It was midnight when that couple saw him, so I think the sketch was pretty remarkable.

His grandpa's house has also been vacant since 2011, when he passed, so the cops have a lot to search. This house is w/in walking distance from our house and I could throw a stone at the house he lived in from our storage unit yikes!

I've always been into murder investigation tv shows, but living so close to a serial killer is eerie! I'll take the Johnny Depp Illegal Pups news over my local news any day lol.

Have a great day and huge (( hugs )) peeps!
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Old 05-26-2016, 02:48 PM
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That's horrible kzaug. The poor women, and how lucky and brave was she by jumping out of a moving car. Thank goodness they've got him. Psychopath on the loose, and you living so close. Creeeeepy!

Sorry about ridiculously long post on weather melki, how bored am I? How tired am I?

I do know we have Mount Kosciuszko with Thredbo the resort, but as earlier, certainly not the Alps from what I can understand. Would like to go skiing and see snow. Build a snowman, all the cliches. Chuck a snowball..no laughing, OK.

Best to all......that still creeps me out kzaug.
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Old 05-26-2016, 02:58 PM
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Have a lot to talk to my psychiatrist about today and feeling really anxious. It's good improved stuff but deeeeeep. Hope I can express myself properly. I can do it.
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Old 05-26-2016, 03:12 PM
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You can do it, Steely!

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Old 05-26-2016, 03:30 PM
  # 268 (permalink)  
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D
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Old 05-26-2016, 06:52 PM
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.. I uh feel like I'm working in a serial killers house .. ok I kidding I .. think ,,
and that stones throw close .. is kind of freak out screw the windows shut material ..

They got the guy right .. so .. well unless he has a partner .. like the the 2 guys that live in the house I am working in .. I am trying to mix humor in here with what I understand is serious .. so don't take me wrong .. always look over your shoulder and be aware ..

So now with that, here is the kitchen ceiling I am working on .. these back steps lead into it ..









Now to put a grid up through this horsehair plaster which is like crumbly cement .. you start with a wall track and then what are called main T's that interlock with the 4 ft. T's .. for the grid, and ya hope .. the room is not that off square ..

When you do it the way I put it up .. which is full 2x4 tile down two walls ..
it is a gamble .. on labor time and materials .. could be quick .. could be a nightmare

It's close ..



.. and yeah that is cardboard the guys have stapled up where old tiles used to .. hell might still be up there under the box cardboard .. IDK .. I don't care .. it is all about to disappear ..
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Old 05-27-2016, 01:38 AM
  # 270 (permalink)  
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Thank you so much my friends. Saw my psychiatrist and it worked out really well. Was able to express myself with more confidence and lack of shame. He has been so good to me. I did it, and talked about the stuff I needed to really express. PreviouslyI was always too scared and ashamed. He has always stayed with me, irrespective.

Jeez blackie, those ceilings look like a big job, but know you're up to it given your past successes in the building and repair industry. The blue curtains were pretty cool. . Sounds like you are really back on track, great news. Yay, to us all.

Your horror story kzaug reminded me of the time I went to the pub, got drunk and decided to take the train to the Blue Mountains at night. Top idea steely, not.

Arrived, black as pitch and surrounded by bushland, not a sole in sight. I then saw a car, which stopped then turned off its headlights, and just sat.

I thought WTF, but saw an overhead bridge over the tracks and thought right, I'm going to watch him from a height, and try to hold the leading hand. I was scared shitless. He watched me, and I watched him. It went on for ages and neither of us moved.

I then saw a garbage truck coming down the road ran down and hailed it. The two men stopped for me and got me safe. The bloke in the car started his car and sat behind the garbage truck for ages, and even freaked the garbo' s out.

Fair dinkum my body would never have been found in the Blue Mountains. Very freaky. Another example of making stupid decisions when drunk. Tell you what though, I sobered up pretty quick when I spotted him pull up and turn off the headlights. Thank goodness the overhead bridge was close.

Thanks for your back up my friends and so very happy that I am sober. Happy for us all.

Best, and love to all. I'm so happy about my psych. visit today. I'm getting there.

Sorry melki for repeating myself about 20 times in my National Geographic on Australian weather. Jeez.
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Old 05-27-2016, 03:39 AM
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Looking good Blacky I already know it's going to look great bud

Hey Kzaug
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Old 05-27-2016, 05:28 AM
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Very nice craftsmanship, Blacky. Be proud of your good work.

kzaug Eh, the truth is, there's probably some pretty crazy people living all around us!

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Old 05-27-2016, 12:13 PM
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Blacky, I don't think I've ever seen a cardboard ceiling like that before, lol! So glad it all squared up nicely for ya. Your home improvements ( extreme, by the looks of it ) continue to wow me!

Hi Wolfie, how's your garden doing?

Melki, squash, beans and peppers are super easy to grow. And the book that Steely and I are going to read is The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. You're more than welcome to read and discuss it w/us ( I think we both could stand a bit of a push from someone lol. )

Steely, I'm so happy that things went well w/your psychiatrist. I think that book will help you to work through your shame and help us both to love ourselves, imperfections and all!
I've never talked about my childhood here at SR, but I'll begin to...little by little, beginning today. I saw different psychiatrists on n off for 10-15 years total, but truth be told, I'd quit seeing every psychiatrist when it came time to delve deeper into my past. I learned at a very early age to effectively block things out ( sometimes permanently, as I'm unable to remember much of my childhood. ) My mum was a drug addict her entire life and my dad ( biological to my sis and bro, adopted me ) was an alcoholic. Okay, that's enough for today lol. This isn't as easy as I thought it'd be and maybe I'll just save it until our book discussion. Thing is, I've gotten through sobriety by staying upbeat and positive. And when I think about unpleasant things, my mind automatically switches to happy memories. So I draw a blank when discussions get too tough. Further, I've given all my fear away to God and I'm clean now. I think the combination of all these things has helped me to get past my PTSD. I no longer have nightmares or panic attacks at the drop of a dime and I plan on keeping it that way.

Have you seen the movie Wolf Creek? It's a horror flick about a serial killer in Australia. I'm not sure how much of it's based a factual events, but it was scarier than heck and your story w/the car stopping and turning it's lights out made me think about it. Yikes!!!

Astro, Which Rush song is your fave? Mine is Dreamline and 2112.

Wkend (( Hugs )) my friends!
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Old 05-27-2016, 02:52 PM
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No,I haven't seen Wolf Creek kzaug. I've heard about it and made on a really small budget apparently. I've heard it's really scary. Serial killer and psychosexual movies always freak me out. Always seems to be the girl who gets it. I've put myself into some really dangerous situations when drinking.

I understand your reluctance about delving deeper, and don't even know how useful it is at any rate, and you seem seem to be going really well without it.

As I understand it, it's not even seen as the way to go (now) in modern psychology. In the old days it was seen as necessary to "remember".......ages spent getting people to dredge their minds. Why? Mindfulness seems a better approach if you ask me. Living in the day.

My memories just came up automatically, uninvited, nothing I could do about it. It's been helpful now, as I feel a little less fragmented. All to do with trauma. But don't fix it if it ain't broke.

I once tried to complete an application for compensation sexual assault but when I got to the part that that asked me to describe the event, I couldn't. Tried and tried, but just couldn't go there, and now they've changed the law and I'm outa time.

OK songsters, let's go "Outa Time" with the Rolling Stones. ha ha

Laughed at your description of Blackie's "squared up, cardboard ceiling". I reckon that house has got the makings of a good movie.

It's got everything. Spooky broken down house, old guys, drinking, mysterious cardboard ceiling, and long term 30 year tenancy. A lot can happen in 30 years. Woooooooo! Poor old tenants, really.
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Old 05-27-2016, 03:46 PM
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I think you're absolutely right Steely! If it ain't broke....! I really like the new approach to therapy too. I think the brain is a very powerful organ and if people can get so psychologically broken, then they can fix it through mindfulness and CBT.

My musical contribution for this evening is a song that came out when I was a teenager and explains my mindset back in the day....World of Fantasy by Triumph!
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Old 05-27-2016, 04:06 PM
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I'm putting Triumph on right this very moment. We shall overcome.
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Old 05-27-2016, 04:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Steely View Post
We shall overcome.
And "Never Surrender!"
Love that album!
I'm jamming to Meatloaf Loaf right now.
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Old 05-27-2016, 04:54 PM
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Those was great teenage memories kzaug. They did better than me. I think I'm still in fantasy land. What about that Flying Vee? woo hoo!

My teenage stuff apart from Stones and suff were the Easy Beats. Friday on my Mind. Always hanging for Friday night.

Still stuffed with the only thing giving any inspiration the watering and tending of my little plants.

G'day to all.
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Old 05-27-2016, 04:58 PM
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Having trouble ticking the "thanks button" on your posts kzaug.

"Two out of Three" was great. Pity about later.....
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Old 05-27-2016, 05:01 PM
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The "thanks" button has returned.. Magic.
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