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I'm living Benzo free Part 3

Old 05-22-2016, 12:40 PM
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Old 05-22-2016, 12:44 PM
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Boy, have I ever got to catch up, a whole season will pass.

I love gardening too kzaug, and know Soberwolf does too. I have 3 balconies, which sounds pretty flash, but really just a standard little 2 bedroom flat in the suburbs and which I have packed with pot plants.

During my morass I let it all go, but am just now trying to get it back off the ground, not a real lot of heart in it, but trying.

I managed to get a Maiden Hair fern to kick and was pretty pleased as they are very finicky. The dove and robins sound beautiful, idyllic with all of your perennials. Nature. Sigh.

Thanks for reminder on feelings of paranoia when mentioning drugs, or even hemp jackets. I'm unfamiliar with sites such as this and uncertain of the protocol.

I think I went a bit nutso, but have regained my composure.

Thanks for the understanding, as I am going through a period of great uncertainty.
Not about my sobriety, but with myself. Trying to drag myself out of the pit of doom. Try with a little help from my friends, and underestimated the support that exists here, and the genuine care that is still so unfamiliar.

I have been given that little nudge that was required to get me moving, even if only tiny steps at a time.

Croissants and coffee at the local cafe for breakfast.

I wanna watch my garden grow.

I will read a chapter a week kzaug. Searching for the perfect petunia. haha

Your reminder too melki with your friends, put things much more into perspective. Intend to do a little gardening today following my croissant brekky.

Last edited by Steely; 05-22-2016 at 12:50 PM. Reason: Addend
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Old 05-22-2016, 02:43 PM
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Old 05-22-2016, 02:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Steely View Post
which I have packed with pot plants.
So....would that be medicinal pot? Haha! Kidding, of course, but I just couldn't resist!

Will be back later. (( Hugs ))
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Old 05-22-2016, 03:52 PM
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Well you certainly kicked my rock and roll head in there SSG, and the song by the woman vocalist very beautiful. Thanks for both. Guess I'm still stuck in the Blues and needed a reminder.

Is there any chance that you will avoid gaol or is this a fait accompli?Really hope there is still a chance.

Ha ha kzaug my pot plants are well within the law, but in the old days it was a useless venture, because I used to pluck them back to a stick before they had a chance to say hi to the sky.

Last edited by Steely; 05-22-2016 at 03:55 PM. Reason: Spelling
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Old 05-22-2016, 07:32 PM
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Well melki, I did the deed. Walked to the park and had coffee and croissant on the way back home.

Read the Sydney Morning Herald and can't figure why I bother anymore, all news is dismal but I suppose important to keep up with ridiculous world politics.

Gave it a good go on the swings, but then got tangled in the jungle bars trying to climb over the top. Sat on the park bench (no brown paper bag) and took in the morning. It did feel good, as you say.

No sushi yet, but made spag bol for dinner, and will follow through for lunch. Keep looking at another Maiden Hair Fern I planted, willing it to grow. They are so delicate.

Hope you are doing OK and keeping up with all of your own doings and projects even though difficult.

You really helped me melki and I thank you so.

Hi to all.
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Old 05-22-2016, 09:31 PM
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SSG, did your attorney say something to you or are you getting nervous about your upcoming court date? I sure wish I could see what you're posting, but I guess I'll just have to use my imagination for now.

Melki, thinking about those less fortunate than myself helps to keep my perspective realistic too. It's hard to feel sorry for oneself w/all the starving, abused, sickly, war ridden, actively addicted , homeless, mentally unstable people out there. I've experienced most of the previous situations mentioned, so I can easily empathize with and feel much sympathy for those afflicted.

That's awesome you got some weeding done. Everything's definitely my least favorite part of gardening lol.

Steely, I'm so glad that your mood is beginning to lift & that you're eating. Depression can be so deliberating, so getting out n about like you did today is fantastic!

It's suppose to rain on Wed. and Thurs., so I'm going to read my chapter then.

Medical marijuana is legal in Michigan and I, for one, am in favor of using weed in place of pills, for pain, anxiety, seizures, ect. Personally, I've never cared for it because it made me paranoid and tired, but I plan on using the type w/out THC in the future, if my pain increases to the point where it's unmanageable. Years ago, my pain was so severe that I couldn't roll myself over in bed or dress myself and that was while I taking prescription painkillers. But, I never want to take an opiate again, legal or otherwise. Plus, I've never heard of anyone going through 5 months of severe, physical withdrawals from pot, like I went through w/benzos. It just seems like common sense to me. As far as marijuana being a gateway drug, the majority of people I've known that smoked it never became drug addicts or alcoholics. So, I'm all for the medicinal use of pot. Please don't hate me lol.

(( Hugs )) n love to everyone!
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Old 05-23-2016, 12:59 AM
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Have a nice day everyone
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Old 05-23-2016, 05:29 AM
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Originally Posted by SSG976 View Post
Ding ding ding ding!!! You nailed it, my favorite band and the greatest guitar player in the universe!
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Old 05-23-2016, 06:30 AM
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Good to hear about your day, Steely. Just keep swimming! (This phrase is forever stuck in my brain from reading a Nemo and Dory story to my kids a gazillion times). Heehee, love the image of you tangled up in jungle bars. I too have memories with a paper bag on a playground.

I had to cut out my daily newspaper routine almost a decade ago as it was seriously affecting me. I now get a cursory update in my internet news feed.

Weeding is the only thing I can be trusted to do in the yard. I am one of those people who cannot grow any vegetation to save their life. "Here, melki, you can't possibly kill this plant, it's extremely low maintenance." Ha!
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Old 05-23-2016, 01:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Astro View Post
Ding ding ding ding!!! You nailed it, my favorite band and the greatest guitar player in the universe!
Eddie Van Halen? Clue me in?
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Old 05-23-2016, 01:30 PM
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Kzaug, you nailed it completely. Agree with everything that you say re medical marijuana. There is a push here to have it medicalised , and which is just about to reach fruition. Back pain is the worst. Did you cut your benzo's rapidly?

The world really is a sad old place, I still love the world, just so much injustice and suffering. I don't carry it, but it is a bit disappointing. And I don't know that there will be pie in the sky when I die.

Are you one of those people that kill every plant they touch melki? Hard to believe, but I know they do exist. Careful to not overwater.

Hope you are doing well and am waiting for a bit more light before my walk in the park, and tomorrow a huge shop for good food including ice-cream.

My very best to all.
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Old 05-23-2016, 01:39 PM
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I always forget the guitarists names. I recognise the music but forget the names. A lot of them are forgettable, you've got to admit. Didn't realise it was Eddie van Halen who did "Go Ahead and Jump". Just remembered the song, and it seemed appropriate at the time. Hope I got that right.
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Old 05-23-2016, 02:09 PM
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Originally Posted by kzaug2014 View Post
Eddie Van Halen? Clue me in?
Rush

,, now for something different ,..

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Old 05-23-2016, 02:11 PM
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.. I don't think it matters anymore who anyone thinks I am ..

.. I am just someone that comes here for support and help and a kind word ..
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Old 05-23-2016, 02:14 PM
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Ty Steely! My top 3 picks were Randy Rhoads, Jimi Hendrix and Eddie. I thought Astro is more of a Van Halen man lol.
I cold turkeyed Klonopin and Heroin in Aug 2014. I was prescribed methadone, norco and klonopin for 10yrs, but lost my doctor in the spring of '14. I couldn't hack the withdrawals and turned to heroin and bought benzos on the streets. I wouldn't recommend quitting benzos cold to anyone. It was pure hell ugh. But the memory of the withdrawals are enough to keep me away from pills forever lol.

Melki, the key to great plants is great soil. Daylilies are pretty indestructible and come in 100's of different varieties and colors. Iris's are pretty tough too ( just make sure the rhizomes or tubers are planted very shallow. )

I need to get back to planting now. Have a great day everyone!

(( Hugs )) & love peeps!
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Old 05-23-2016, 02:21 PM
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Yikes, now I'm confused. Is it Eddie or Alex Lifeson? Lol! Yea, screw that guy anyways Blacky! How have you been feeling?

Because back later guys!
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Old 05-23-2016, 02:28 PM
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.. I seen um .. I this tour in 78? .. maybe ..

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Old 05-23-2016, 02:45 PM
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.. Hmmm no Geddy Lee vocals on that one .. but someone mentioned Van Halen ..

,, well ya know Eddie came in to his first US tour when Rush was a already a stadium band ..

,, and yeah I saw there first US tour .. in 78 or so as well .. they played a smaller venue ..

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Old 05-23-2016, 04:41 PM
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