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I'm living Benzo free Part 2

Old 03-06-2016, 08:41 PM
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Is Soberwolf sick? Get well soon woolfie we miss you. Wanted to say hi to Winslow and Astro and was thinking about Patricia, I hope she's OK. There are some funny things my brother has done in his madness one really poignant memory is seeing him with a lanyard around his neck with a chocolate Move Milk carton attached. I don't know whether he was sending up the entire tag dag set or was fair dinkum. I'm picking him up tomorrow and know that he is looking forward as he has phoned me 3 times to make sure I am still coming. He is in a locked ward and though he handles it amazingly well must have cabin fever, I know I would. Great idea on the adult colouring books a great way to distract and focus. Good to see you back Blacky and getting some work it really does help in engaging with world and being productive. Hate just watching the days slip by having done very little. I will PM you kazaug re the book and am so much looking forward, it will be fun. I'll let you know when it arrives. My best to all and so glad to be sober. Beautiful day here.
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Old 03-07-2016, 04:17 AM
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Originally Posted by kzaug2014 View Post
Have you ( or anyone else ) ever seen the movie Neverwas? It stars Aaron Eckhart, Ian McKellen, Brittany Murphy, William Holden, Jessica Lange, Nick Nolte and Alan Cumming and its an incredible movie about schizophrenia and mental illness. It's pretty hard to watch at times if you've ever dealt with mental illness in your family, but one of the best movies I've ever seen.
I'm going to check that out. Thanks for the movie review!
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Old 03-07-2016, 01:32 PM
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Hi Blacky,
Failed to answer your post re "what's going on"? It was "women's business" blacky just like "man's business" as is in Aboriginal culture. Not sexist, but sometimes people need to talk to someone of their own sex to get understanding. Just like blokes do in their sheds I hope. Everything's good now. that's how I read it an anyrate. Hope you get the rotten wood out. Off to pick up my mad (in a good way) brother so must close hope everyone is well. (
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Old 03-07-2016, 04:15 PM
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Hi guys,
Winslow, you haven't posted anywhere for a few days now...I hope you're okay hun.

Steely, I hope your visit with your brother goes well. Maybe he handles the locked ward well because he feels safe there, I hope.

My hubs uncle, who I told you was schizophrenic, is extremely institutionalized. He robbed a jewelry store about 45yrs ago and after that, he would always violate his parole w/petty crimes. I think he violated his parole on purpose sometimes when winter would hit because he's always lived outside. Only he doesn't live on the streets. He camps out in the woods, where he can build fires and can be alone. He came over this afternoon. It was really nice out today, sun shining and 58°, so he road his bike over. He's been out of prison for 6 mo's now and is doing really well. This is the 1st time that I know of that he hasn't drunk alcohol. It's also the 1st time he's ever had any money, which I think is keeping him motivated because he can actually buy is own home. People need goals and dreams, imo.

Blacky, so how bad was the other rotted area? Just curious, but are you still going to those f2f groups you were going to?

Melki, sorry I blundered your name in an earlier post. Don't forget, you're going to call in sick Sat. ( I thought I'd remind you everyday lol. )

Astro, you're very welcome. The ending of that movie is awesome too ( surprised me lol. )

Patricia, I miss you.

Tunes of the day....Bob Seger, Cher, Disturbed, Tom Petty and Five Finger Death Punch!

(( Hugs )) my friends!
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Old 03-07-2016, 04:42 PM
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House is not that bad I should have it back together tomorrow.
I cut out the rot and also hit a live wire .. oops ..

I go to the cbt groups every Thursday. we read about emotions and such and discuss things. I will be going until the end of April as part of the program I agreed to. I have to go to some AA or NA meetings as well sometime.
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Old 03-07-2016, 07:19 PM
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Astro, thank you, yes to all. I miss fellowship. If I weren't so group-meeting-averse, I'd go to AA just to be around other sober people for fellowship...I still may some day. Maybe.

Steely, hope you enjoy the visit with your brother today.

FED is a fantastic idea. I hereby declare this Friday international FED day (at least in melki world) and I am taking this day off work. I haven't decided where I'll go or what I'll do but it will be fabulous and it will be FED-worthy and I will make you all proud.

kzaug2014, I like melkids. I will use it to refer to my offsprings. Thanks for the Neverwas recommendation, it's available on Netflix streaming, I added it to my list.

I tried painting recently, and even though I used to have a bit of a knack for it in previous life, now everything comes out lifeless and flat and I hate it. Coloring books are less pressure, I sometimes do them with my younger melkid. We used to do puzzles too, it would be fun to do again, but only after we clear out some space. Spring cleaning can't come soon enough.

Um, and I'll pretend I didn't hear you about caffeine and sugar. Seriously, you gave up caffeine completely? That's just superhuman...
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Old 03-08-2016, 01:20 AM
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My day with my brother went well he just mucked around in his room and he played Roxy Music, Delta Goodwin, AABA and Buddy Holly. My brother has has very eclectic taste. He was a heroin user during the early 80's and was on Methadone for years. Twice he has jumped off 120mg of Methadone (so the story goes) cold and don't think this did much for his mental health. I took him back to the hospital and the little dick would not shout me my taxi fare to the station. He also does the switch and bait something I've only just learned. I dropped into an op shop (The Smith Family) ) on the way back home and spent $6:30 on a pair of of new board shorts, a really delicate little butterfly brooch, a packet of incense, a brand new box of 6 Judy Collins albums where she does Bob Dylan. Also brand new Rory Gallagher at the Isle of Wight who my upstairs neighbour is ridiculously in love with even though he's dead. She was thrilled with the gift. All for $6:30 I am the op shop queen! A programme on TV is showing how music when played through earphones to people with Altzheimers brings them alive. The playlist has to be right. Memories. Your uncle sounds delightful kzaug so much more to the schizophrene than people care to see or know. Tired now so go make something to eat (I'm really trying), eat vitamins, watch TV, shower, bed. Hope every is well. FED LIVES!
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Old 03-08-2016, 04:21 AM
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Originally Posted by kzaug2014 View Post
My hubs uncle, who I told you was schizophrenic, is extremely institutionalized. He robbed a jewelry store about 45yrs ago and after that, he would always violate his parole w/petty crimes. I think he violated his parole on purpose sometimes when winter would hit because he's always lived outside. Only he doesn't live on the streets. He camps out in the woods, where he can build fires and can be alone. He came over this afternoon. It was really nice out today, sun shining and 58°, so he road his bike over. He's been out of prison for 6 mo's now and is doing really well. This is the 1st time that I know of that he hasn't drunk alcohol. It's also the 1st time he's ever had any money, which I think is keeping him motivated because he can actually buy is own home. People need goals and dreams, imo.
Thank you for sharing this It's a good reminder as I start my day that we all have hope. No one can escape God's grace if we want it.
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Old 03-08-2016, 06:39 AM
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Hey all,I've been here just not feeling great and don't have much to offer to the conversations, just reading and glad you're all doing good,enjoy your Tuesday everyone😊
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Old 03-08-2016, 02:14 PM
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Hope you start to feel better Winslow. When I think about the number of people in gaol who have mental illness I become upset. Little or no appropriate housing available The public housing system here has become more or less an extension of the mental health and penal systems. Mental health always goes to the bottom of the pile. My brother is 'lucky' in that he has family support most are just discharged to the street with a bag of meds and the name of a boarding house where (they) would be exploited and eaten alive. Have a free day today just to do some gardening and finishing up around the house. Have a great day everyone.
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Old 03-08-2016, 06:44 PM
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Hello everyone,
Blacky, will you be continuing your cbt group or AA on your own after your requirement is finished?

Melki, yep, no caffeine. But, nothing superhuman about it. I was just too sick from withdrawals to even think about coffee and water was about the only liquid I could stomach ( besides 7-up & Sprite. ) But, if I could be superhuman, I'd choose to be Storm & I'd make it sunny and 75° everyday, with a light breeze & a thunderstorm once/wk minus the lightning lol.

Steely, I can't even imagine what your brother must have gone through jumping cold from 120mg of methadone! The 1st time I was cut from my meds, I hallucinated badly. It scared the ba-gb's outta me ( I thought I saw the devil yikes! ) So, for someone with schizophrenia to go cold from such a high dose of methadone must have been terrifying and I can easily see withdrawals doing further damage to a schizophrenic's already damaged mind...poor guy.

Wow, you're a great bargain shopper! Is an Op like a thrift store? I don't pay retail for anything either. I bought brand new, overstock punctures and lighting for our entire house for under $50 at auction. I always look up the retail and found out that the kitchen faucet I bought for $9 cost $140 at the store....2 new ceiling fan lights I paid $13 were over $300.....curvy track light for kitchen I paid $1 for was $80 retail ( it was in the wrong box, so no one else bid on it lol. )

My dear grandmother died from Alzheimer's...literally. She forgot how to swallow her food and had a dnr in place. But, the nursing home she was in played classical music all the time after she got real bad. I've read that music can actually prevent the decline of Alzheimer's too and is 1 of the reasons I listen to so much music.

Astro, I agree. God is my rock & I credit Him w/all good things in my life.

Winslow, I'm happy to hear everything's okay. Thx for letting us know. Feel better soon and read on.

(( Hugs )) to all! Peace!
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Old 03-08-2016, 07:49 PM
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Omg I just listened to Judy Collins for the first time and she sent me into a coma and was practically droned to death. My friend got the better deal with Rory Gallagher. Never heard her before but because she was doing some old blues songs that I liked I would give her a go still it only cost me a buck and my butterfly is really a dragonfly. Close now as still stupefied by Judy Collins.
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Old 03-09-2016, 04:23 AM
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Originally Posted by kzaug2014 View Post
I don't pay retail for anything either. I bought brand new, overstock punctures and lighting for our entire house for under $50 at auction. I always look up the retail and found out that the kitchen faucet I bought for $9 cost $140 at the store....2 new ceiling fan lights I paid $13 were over $300.....curvy track light for kitchen I paid $1 for was $80 retail ( it was in the wrong box, so no one else bid on it lol.
Now that's some awesome bargain shopping there!

I watched Neverwas on Netflix last night. Very good movie and made me think a lot about the people I was with when I was institutionalized for a few days. Thank you for the recommendation.
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Old 03-09-2016, 06:27 AM
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Hi kzaug,
My brother has this incredible capacity to just simply dig in and cop to it. It probably has a lot to do with his illness but he will just never admit that he is suffering. Your score at the op shop (opportunity shop) which is the same as a thrift shop was legendary. Good to know that we beat the big guys and undercut them to the clappers. One of my recent coups was a nest of carved Chinese tables probably over 100 years old that I picked up for $200 (expensive for me) and which I saw on e-bay for $1200. They work really well and are very beautiful. I think you can decorate your entire house and put clothes on your back out of a good day at the op shop. Steer clear of Judy Collins CD's but I guess you learn through experience. I'm travellingg well with both alcohol and my last smidgen of Valium now only 2mgs and think it is the letting go absolutely that is holding me back. It will happen, soon. Thanks for recommendation Neverwas and have been thinking a lot more seriously about the way perfectionism really does interfere with our capacity to lead a life of real peace and acceptance. The gifts of imperfection makes real sense. Phew, what a relief. Hope everyone is well.
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Old 03-09-2016, 04:06 PM
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Originally Posted by kzaug2014 View Post
Hello everyone,
Blacky, will you be continuing your cbt group or AA on your own after your requirement is finished?
I will have a one on one with the councilor each month and see what meetings are like these days. Might be a good one nearby. I realize I can't get complacent.
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Old 03-09-2016, 08:23 PM
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Hi guys n gals,
Blacky, just checkin.

Astro, so glad you liked it. I thought it was right up there with One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and Girl Interrupted.

Steely, I've actually never heard Judy Collins and since I'm probably the only person on the planet that doesn't have cable or internet, I can't look her up ( doesn't sound like I want to either lol. )
It sounds like you got a great deal on those 100 yrs old tables. Antique furniture is getting nearly impossible to find at bargain prices. There was a beautiful early Victorian bookcase at auction last Mo., that I really wanted to buy. But, so did another bidder ugh lol. My top bid was $310, but she bid higher. Oh well, I'm sure there's another beautiful bookcase in my future. I'm not out to stick it to anyone lol, but I do have champaign tastes on a beer budget.
Let me know when you receive your book and we'll pop over to the book club forum to discuss it. If anyone else is interested, Steely and I are going to start a book discussion on The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown.

So, I've been thinning out my collections to make more space lately and I goofed today. I have an vintage/antique toys collection that I display on a huge wall shelf & in my china cabinet ( I'm not into china lol. ) Instead of thinning my toys out, all I managed to do was completely re-arrange them lol. Oops!

Tunes of the day....Billy Squire, early Metallica, Nazareth and The Everly Brothers.

Hump day (( hugs )) for all!
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Old 03-09-2016, 09:45 PM
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Hi everyone,
Got really good results back from blood tests I had done so feeling good. Doctor said I couldn't wish for better. I really did batter myself both physically and psychologically, strange to consider. The removal of alcohol has opened the doors of perception without the use of LSD. Very cool, as lots of things out there. Just checking in hope everyone is travelling well, not too hard. kzaug that book is going to take 3.5 weeks to arrive as had to get it from America. I've still got an unfinished book where I lack the motivation so will push on with that for practice and by that time the book would have arrived. Hope that's OK with you. Best to all.
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Old 03-09-2016, 09:56 PM
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And I love bookcases.
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Old 03-10-2016, 06:53 PM
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Hi guys, I had a long day & am really tired, but wanted to pop in to say hi & (( Hugs )) to all!
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Old 03-11-2016, 08:22 AM
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Hi Kzaug & everyone
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