I'm living Benzo free
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Location: Las Vegas
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Hey all,Blacky you didn't seem defensive, keep posting as usual I love reading it😊 I'm really glad you shared that story,I think a lot of this IS mind over matter! I just am going nowhere cuz of fear I guess,my anxiety is all physical, I'm not even thinking about anything and it hits,that's why I'm wondering if its something I'm taking,too many vitamins? Not enough?grrr,I too went to jail about 6 years ago for a day and a half,it was during the peak of my drinking and I was kinda cheating on my hubs and being really bad,we got in a fight I started hitting him and he held my arms so I called the cops stupidly,they showed up,seen how drunk I was and took me,worst experience ever! It was gross,the food,the boredom,having to wear the clothes that included granny panties that had been worn god how many times before by whoever, all the hookers,ugh never again! Luckily no charges were filed but still,and yes Igot out and drank😡 klono waswasn't an issue cuz back then I was only taking .25 here and there,shoulda just quit it then but I thought I was supposed to be on it regularly from what the doc said,Patricia, check in! Gotta get ready,let's have a great Tuesday😊
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Join Date: Jan 2016
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Hang in there Patricia. It will be ok, just start again.
Winslow I agree, some feelings I get come out of nowhere. Also this cold and cloudy morning has maybe damped down my enthusiasm to go take care of a few things. I have kind of a blah attitude now. I should probably eat something.
Winslow I agree, some feelings I get come out of nowhere. Also this cold and cloudy morning has maybe damped down my enthusiasm to go take care of a few things. I have kind of a blah attitude now. I should probably eat something.
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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Hello everyone! I love your thread! Read it regularly!
Patrica just get back up and dust yourself off! Many of us have had some rough starts!
Can really relate to the things you guys are talking about. Ha! Had a little run in with the law too while I was hopped up on pain meds and benzos. Thought I could get away with driving without insurance. "Oh I would never get arrested for that?!? " "most they'd do is ticket me?" Crazy how those tiny pills trick you to think all is right when it is far from it!?
So true whoever made that comment about jail food and that horrible uniform! Ha! Ha! I'm sure if I'd had to stay longer than I did, I'd have lost massive amounts of weight! To this day I have trouble keeping down a plain lunch meat sandwich....reminds me of those awful rubber sandwiches in jail! Yuck! I'm sure the only folks that survive are the ones who purchase snacks from the canteen. I was warned by the other's to suck it up or wear the turtle suit without panties. It didn't sound good so I kept a low profile even though I was withdrawing and my anxiety was thru the roof! (Given none of my regular meds in jail) Feeling anxious just thinking about jail!
Winslow I think some of us are more sensitive. I had some horrible wd symptoms getting off the Xanax! But I can vouch for how awsome life is off them! Certainly worth the suffering I went thru to get off them. KZ you make a very good point about giving yourself a longer timeframe like a year....vs.a day at a time in reference to feeling better. Gotta have patience to get thru....that along with optimism. The day at a time helped me get thru cravings though.
Remember you all can do this! Just remember benzos are not an option any more. It's a well known fact.... they do not regularly help with long term anxiety. There have been many studies that prove that once tolerance kicks in it stops working. We must find alternate ways to cope with our anxiety. The most successful have been non-medicated treatments, like mindfulness, breathing techniques, yoga, coloring and anything else that can get us to that happy....relaxed state.
Congrats to you guys! Awesome thread!
Patrica just get back up and dust yourself off! Many of us have had some rough starts!
Can really relate to the things you guys are talking about. Ha! Had a little run in with the law too while I was hopped up on pain meds and benzos. Thought I could get away with driving without insurance. "Oh I would never get arrested for that?!? " "most they'd do is ticket me?" Crazy how those tiny pills trick you to think all is right when it is far from it!?
So true whoever made that comment about jail food and that horrible uniform! Ha! Ha! I'm sure if I'd had to stay longer than I did, I'd have lost massive amounts of weight! To this day I have trouble keeping down a plain lunch meat sandwich....reminds me of those awful rubber sandwiches in jail! Yuck! I'm sure the only folks that survive are the ones who purchase snacks from the canteen. I was warned by the other's to suck it up or wear the turtle suit without panties. It didn't sound good so I kept a low profile even though I was withdrawing and my anxiety was thru the roof! (Given none of my regular meds in jail) Feeling anxious just thinking about jail!
Winslow I think some of us are more sensitive. I had some horrible wd symptoms getting off the Xanax! But I can vouch for how awsome life is off them! Certainly worth the suffering I went thru to get off them. KZ you make a very good point about giving yourself a longer timeframe like a year....vs.a day at a time in reference to feeling better. Gotta have patience to get thru....that along with optimism. The day at a time helped me get thru cravings though.
Remember you all can do this! Just remember benzos are not an option any more. It's a well known fact.... they do not regularly help with long term anxiety. There have been many studies that prove that once tolerance kicks in it stops working. We must find alternate ways to cope with our anxiety. The most successful have been non-medicated treatments, like mindfulness, breathing techniques, yoga, coloring and anything else that can get us to that happy....relaxed state.
Congrats to you guys! Awesome thread!
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Mi
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Ty Wolfie and you have a great day as well! 
Blacky, it's pretty common for "things" to feel strangel at 1st ( like your teeth lol. ) Benzos dull our senses, so when we quit they come back alive again...In simple layman's terms, since I know no other lol.
Winslow, I would take that "mind over matter" theory and run with it!
Patricia, were here for you hun...try not to be so hard on yourself. You know, I think you're on a vicious merry go round....your husband is overly critical, which makes your self esteem plummet, which, in turn makes it's easier for you to hate yourself. Your life is worth more & you need to believe that, like we do.
My ex tried to make me feel like I wasn't worth anything through verbal & physical abuse. While he succeeded in depressing me big time, I was well aware that it was he who was bent, not me. That isn't to say that he didn't affect my self esteem. It just means that I knew, somewhere in the back of my head, I didn't deserve what he was doing to me.
So you're a little jailbird too, huh, Clean lol. Glad to have you in the club haha!
I was in a blah mood today too. My solution? Put some music in, of course! Works like a charm for me!
(( Hugs ))
Blacky, it's pretty common for "things" to feel strangel at 1st ( like your teeth lol. ) Benzos dull our senses, so when we quit they come back alive again...In simple layman's terms, since I know no other lol.
Winslow, I would take that "mind over matter" theory and run with it!
Patricia, were here for you hun...try not to be so hard on yourself. You know, I think you're on a vicious merry go round....your husband is overly critical, which makes your self esteem plummet, which, in turn makes it's easier for you to hate yourself. Your life is worth more & you need to believe that, like we do.
My ex tried to make me feel like I wasn't worth anything through verbal & physical abuse. While he succeeded in depressing me big time, I was well aware that it was he who was bent, not me. That isn't to say that he didn't affect my self esteem. It just means that I knew, somewhere in the back of my head, I didn't deserve what he was doing to me.
So you're a little jailbird too, huh, Clean lol. Glad to have you in the club haha!
I was in a blah mood today too. My solution? Put some music in, of course! Works like a charm for me!
(( Hugs ))
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 704
Sun is out .. woooooo !
Slept ok last night. I think I am doing good off the klonopin.
I do notice some feelings of feeling a bit down but I think it will ebb.
I will switch to being a carpenter today and be doing some trim work in a kitchen.
Have a good day folks.
Slept ok last night. I think I am doing good off the klonopin.
I do notice some feelings of feeling a bit down but I think it will ebb.
I will switch to being a carpenter today and be doing some trim work in a kitchen.
Have a good day folks.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 1,486
Awesome Blacky,I was thinking that if they replaced my little pink pills with smarties but they were the same color and shape as klono would iI notice a difference? I'm sure I'd have symptoms but maybe not as severe cuz I'd still be thinking that I'm on the same dose,hmm,something to ponder,ok I'm sticking to this dammit! Took a piece off,come hell or whatever I've got to do this,even though yes,I still love klono,I'm not fully healing, I still get anxiety,insomnia, etc so may as well take the plunge! Patricia, hugs honey,just keep posting girl,even if you're slipping it still helps to keep accountable,Kzaug,music is the doctor😊 hope we all have a great Wednesday
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Join Date: Jan 2016
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I started feeling weird before I left for work, kind of accelerated and light headed or something. I got my work done and then on the way home I was thinking about something and drove right by my interstate exit and noticed a few miles later when I saw the next exit. doh ..
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Join Date: Mar 2015
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Hey guys, I had my doctor's appt today. I showed him the pics of my hand w/the iodine looking stain on them & he says he's more worried about my kidneys than adrenal glands. Ugh, I think I like my adrenal gland theory better lol. So I need a bunch of new blood work done and I need to have an ultrasound done on a lump under my ribcage. So I'm going to put it on the backburner & not worry about it for now.
Blacky, when I 1st quit ( & for several mo's after ) it took me 20 mins just to formulate an intelligent sentence. My brain was completely scrambled and I felt like a complete idiot lol.
Winslow, that's an interesting idea...switching out your klonopin for smarties. I have no idea what the placebo affect would be lol, but the mind is pretty powerful. Keep up your "stubborn, I'm going to kick Klonopin's butt" attitude. You got this!
So, I still get anxious, especially when doing new things. I got a pit in my stomach & my heart started racing before seeing my new doc this afternoon. But, I've somehow managed to learn how to set my anxiety aside by thinking about something else and cranking the music up. I think the reason this helps me so much is because I'm 1 of those people who sings the words to all the songs. And when I'm singing, I'm not thinking too hard. I don't know if this makes sense, but it works for me.
Patricia, how are you doing hun?
(( Hugs )) everyone!
Blacky, when I 1st quit ( & for several mo's after ) it took me 20 mins just to formulate an intelligent sentence. My brain was completely scrambled and I felt like a complete idiot lol.
Winslow, that's an interesting idea...switching out your klonopin for smarties. I have no idea what the placebo affect would be lol, but the mind is pretty powerful. Keep up your "stubborn, I'm going to kick Klonopin's butt" attitude. You got this!
So, I still get anxious, especially when doing new things. I got a pit in my stomach & my heart started racing before seeing my new doc this afternoon. But, I've somehow managed to learn how to set my anxiety aside by thinking about something else and cranking the music up. I think the reason this helps me so much is because I'm 1 of those people who sings the words to all the songs. And when I'm singing, I'm not thinking too hard. I don't know if this makes sense, but it works for me.
Patricia, how are you doing hun?
(( Hugs )) everyone!
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Blacky -usually 72ish hours after a drop I'd start feeling spacy.
Worst case senario was taking a nibble of a pill/up to a regular dose and then seeing how long it took to start feeling 'off' again. I've never been a fan of strict taper schedules mainly cause I never understood having a constant dose of long acting benzo in me versus me just taking ativan once daily(that I recall!)
Haphazard tapering worked better and stopped me from obsessing about pills.
Winslow - I bet you'd get away with fooling yourself for a bit!
For now though, I still think you're early in sobriety with the booze and I'd not be beating yourself up.
(((Patricia))) I'm sorry your having a rough time.
kzaug - I'm the Queen of distracting myself and doing pretty much anything to not have the fight or flight feelings come up. Eventually I just HAVE to deal with something unpleasant (HA! what a mild word). At least I don't tend to have over-reactions these days. That's calmed down a lot in the past year.
Will be in touch in a bit....lot's been going on here.
xox
Worst case senario was taking a nibble of a pill/up to a regular dose and then seeing how long it took to start feeling 'off' again. I've never been a fan of strict taper schedules mainly cause I never understood having a constant dose of long acting benzo in me versus me just taking ativan once daily(that I recall!)
Haphazard tapering worked better and stopped me from obsessing about pills.
Winslow - I bet you'd get away with fooling yourself for a bit!
For now though, I still think you're early in sobriety with the booze and I'd not be beating yourself up.
(((Patricia))) I'm sorry your having a rough time.
kzaug - I'm the Queen of distracting myself and doing pretty much anything to not have the fight or flight feelings come up. Eventually I just HAVE to deal with something unpleasant (HA! what a mild word). At least I don't tend to have over-reactions these days. That's calmed down a lot in the past year.
Will be in touch in a bit....lot's been going on here.
xox
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KZ take care Dear! I must have missed where you talked about your health? I do that too. When something has the potential to crank up an all out panic attack, I simply put that up on one of my "to address later shelves". I do A quick check on myself. "Am I alive? Yes. Am I safe? Yes. Is there anything that has the potential to harm me in the next few hours or so? No. So I'll be okay....I'm not hurt or dying." Then I take some deep breaths and switch my mind to a pleasant happy thought. Music is an excellent tool to use! Wonderful!
And OMG! My brain was mush after getting off the benzos!! I couldn't for the life of me write a simple grocery list! My thoughts were so scrambled!
Winslow I've thought about the placebo effect too. I'm sure there is some, but hey whatever works! Ha!
Blacky, you are doing great!
Please check in (((Patricia))).
That's a great idea shining again...nibbling a bit off the pill. True about hap-hazard tapering vs. strict measuring and scheduling becoming obsessive. That is how I handle dieting. I can not go on strict diets like that. Those are the BEST way for me to bomb on them. But when I tell myself everything in moderation and pay attention to chewing each bite I eat less and don't feel deprived.
And OMG! My brain was mush after getting off the benzos!! I couldn't for the life of me write a simple grocery list! My thoughts were so scrambled!
Winslow I've thought about the placebo effect too. I'm sure there is some, but hey whatever works! Ha!
Blacky, you are doing great!
Please check in (((Patricia))).
That's a great idea shining again...nibbling a bit off the pill. True about hap-hazard tapering vs. strict measuring and scheduling becoming obsessive. That is how I handle dieting. I can not go on strict diets like that. Those are the BEST way for me to bomb on them. But when I tell myself everything in moderation and pay attention to chewing each bite I eat less and don't feel deprived.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
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Well I guess it is the withdrawal that is messing with me. This is day 4 and the klonopin is still in my system. I know this because I had a drug test today that showed it. It was done at the place that has me tapering so it is not an issue, and I have a prescription.
I am kind of relieved as I thought it might be the lexipro. Would be a hassle to have to get off that right now .. also I think going through withdrawal while in jail just sitting or laying around would be easier than trying to work, concentrate and drive etc. I don't remember feeling like this then.
You know, if I had known this I might of gone to a quarter pill then an 1/8th .. ha ha .. oh well I am not taking any, now that this is underway.
Hope it goes away soon, although it is about to get freezing cold here and maybe snow so I have not scheduled any work the next few days.
I am kind of relieved as I thought it might be the lexipro. Would be a hassle to have to get off that right now .. also I think going through withdrawal while in jail just sitting or laying around would be easier than trying to work, concentrate and drive etc. I don't remember feeling like this then.
You know, if I had known this I might of gone to a quarter pill then an 1/8th .. ha ha .. oh well I am not taking any, now that this is underway.
Hope it goes away soon, although it is about to get freezing cold here and maybe snow so I have not scheduled any work the next few days.
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I think you'll be fine Blacky,of course you're gonna feel a bit weird at first but you've been dropping fast and haven't really had any super bad reactions, I dunno this whole thing is complicated to me,soo tired today,haven't slept good these past 2 nights I hate this,hello to all😊
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