FacingFuture

Hi all,

I'm FacingFuture, and I'm a recovering alcoholic that has Anxiety. As is the case with many of you, I chose to self medicate through abusing alcohol to deal with my anxiety over the last 10 years.

I'm going through a pretty tough time right now with stressors in my life, and have been drinking off and on to deal with everything:
1) We have a one-month old so sleeping is tough
2) I had two deaths of friends this week(one was an alcoholic that died today)
3) I have a dentist appt tomorrow for some possible minor dental surgery
4) Usual work stress

I'm very, very glad that I found this sub-forum as I've seen some really good advice here. I'm sorry if the above sounds like a sob story. I'm just checking to see if anyone has some advice on how to get through these "tough patches"

Thanks!

Luper

Hi FacingFuture!

I can really relate regarding the anxiety and I am sorry to hear you have so many struggles right now.

I self-medicated for years, thinking it helped. It actually made things so much worse, even though I could never convince myself of that. I have been sober now for 64 days, and it has improved so much! It will never go away completely...that is just how my body works I guess. But it does become easier to deal with. I know just how horrible that feeling is......there are still some days I just don't think I can handle it. But I am, and so can you!

Are you seeing a doctor or therapist at all? I have been to many, but it really takes the right one. That is a struggle here. I have been prescribed meds, but only take them when it gets super bad. I have also done CBT, but find it very hard to change your thoughts after so many years.......

The dentist...lol! A HUGE fear for me. I saw you posted on my other thread...it went just fine. I was a total basket case....they had to hold my hands down so I could sign the paperwork...(I shake when nervous). I had mine pulled. The oral surgeon and his staff were just awesome and so understanding! You will do fine.

Just want you to know you are not alone. Anxiety issues are not something I would wish on anyone. It will get better once you put down the alcohol though...trust me.

Feel free to PM me anytime. I wish you all the best!

SoberAlky

Hi Facingfuture, your description fits me to a "T" as well. Alcohol worked great for my anxiety…until it didn't

I'm going to echo Luper - a good therapist is invaluable. AA/NA meetings are also a good forum to just "get things off your chest." I'm also prescribed a couple of medications for my panic attacks. One is Vistaril, which is a strong antihistamine (non-narcotic, no addiction potential). 50mg is usually enough to return me to baseline without making me drowsy. And for the doomsday scenario panic attacks, I'm prescribed Ativan, though I am extremely careful about when and how often I use it since benzodiazepines have a high abuse potential. But it is very helpful to know that in those moments, there is something else to reach for other than a bottle of vodka. Does that make sense?

Anyway, my recommendation would be to find a psychiatrist and therapist that work in the same office so they are able to compare notes and track your progress. Medication and talk therapy are both vitally important and are mutually supporting. My therapist considers recovery a three-legged stool, the three legs being talk therapy, medication and meetings.

Sorry to hear you're navigating such a rough patch. Alcohol makes it better temporarily, but we all know there's a hell of a price to pay at the end.

FacingFuture

Thanks Luper and SoberAlky. I really appreciate all of the advice!

I've been stubbornly resisting the therapist option... Even though I know that it is warranted in my situation. Everything that I was self medicating for comes down to stress and anxiety. Plus the increased stress of all of the life events recently makes me think that it's time to "pull the trigger" and see someone.

I'll probably start to go to meeting again too. I went for about a month earlier in the year then let my AV convince me that "I'm not REALLY like them, I can control this" LOL

I really appreciate the replies it really helps to know that you are out there and have been through this before!

Introvrtd1

I know how you feel Facingfuture......Sometimes Im really bad with self medicating....I was put on ativan for about a week, 1mg tabs as needed but I quit shortly thereafter because I was requiring a bigger dose more frequently. Needless to say after quitting cold turkey, (I know not the smartest thing to do), The withdrawals were horrible and terrifying!

Not offering any excuses or justifying my drinking habits, but I pretty much confine it to several light beers a night and up to a case on weekends. I can no longer handle liquor. I become non functional the day after. I guess you can say Ive found an unhappy medium as well as a way to cope somewhat and stay functional.

I work a job, have a family, and pretty much try to carry on a normal existence as much as possible for them and me.

Just hang in there,.......keep improving and optimistic.
Intro