angelwithoutgod

I have been drinking for 10 years on the weekends and quit about a month ago. I've always had anxiety and depression and drinking helped! I feel like because of alcohol I was able to experience a lot of social things that I otherwise would have skipped out on. In my drinking days, I was outgoing and if I had to do something scary I would just say screw it and do it and be super ballsy.

Now that I have quit I am starting to realize how bad my anxiety is. I am extremely shy and weary of social interaction and new things. Its like I just did a 180. The past 10 years of drinking and partying have flown by and I never did a lot of things I wanted to do, like move out of my home town, and go to graduate school. I thought maybe alcohol was the cause but now I am thinking that its my anxiety and social phobias. I thought quitting alcohol would fix all of my problems and set me on the right track, but now I'm even more scared because alcohol wasn't the problem! I'm the problem!

I feel lost and like a coward because I want a better job and to go to school and to better myself but change is terrifying to me. Why do I want these things if they are terrifying to me? Is it just because society has pressured me to want more or am I really unhappy here? Its not just a case of the butterflies, its full blown terror. For me, it feels like death to imagine meeting a whole new group of people and being in a new place. I think things over constantly in my mind and look at every possible outcome until I drive myself mad with anxiety and just give up.

Its very exhausting mentally. That is why I drank.

I am debating getting on anxiety meds, but I have tried that before and it only seems to work temporarily. I've tried therapy too and its the same thing. Just temporary relief. But of course I was drinking the entire time I tried those things. I guess it couldn't hurt to try again... Thank you for listening to my rant.

gracette

How long have you been sober? I know that for me, my anxiety gets much worse after I stop drinking, and my therapist said that's quite common. Your brain chemistry takes some time to adjust. It might get better with time.

I know it's terrifying to lose a coping mechanism... try to be kind to yourself and take it slow, the other things will come in time if you focus on healing first. I definitely think that going back to a therapist or other doctor about the anxiety now that you've stopped drinking would be worthwhile.

angelwithoutgod

I've been sober for about 30 days. Thank you. I will try to relax and take it slow. It's just hard because time goes by so fast and I already feel like I'm behind in life. I think I will try to see a doctor too. I just have to get my car fixed first hehe.

SoberCAH

I had anxiety so bad when I got sober that I had a hard time driving on the interestate and at night.

The anxiety lifted and I can now speak in public with a reasonable degree of comfort, drive for 500 miles by myself and do anything else I want.

The alcohol and benzos started working against me and making me anxious and worried.

Now, there isn't that much to worry about.

I know that I am getting out of this world in a box and that all I can do is my best with respect to any situation.

Please stay with us and don't drink any more.

You may also want to see a psychiatrist regarding your anxiety, because you could have a chemical imbalance which needs to be remedied.

Best,


C

gracette

30 days is a great accomplishment so you should feel proud right there... I hope to achieve that some day haha. I do know what you mean about feeling behind, but our lives are our own and nobody else's and we just have to make the best of the cards we're dealt. In my experience at least, change only comes when we stop beating ourselves up.

gracette

And sorry, just also meant to say that I think seeing a doctor is a great idea. I talked to mine today and it was difficult but I think treatment will help..

pavaoiztarza

Hi,

can you recognize your current situation in this quote :

"But I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner"

Then again:

"What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?"

So these issues that you are facing are not just temporary conditions - you have a real enemy, who simply wants you - dead and wages subtle war over your mind day after day.

Well, when I ended up in this situation of yours, I asked for help, but I didn't only go to therapists and doctors, I learned after series of sessions with them, that they can only fix me up a little, whereas I needed thorough cleansing.

Since I understand how you feel, I might provide further advice, should you want it. And yes - if I were you I would not look at alcoholism as an issue, because it really is not.

Let me pray for you here real quick:

God of Israel! May your name be glorified in this man. Did not you say rather to go and fetch the lost sheep from your tribe ? I just did that Father! Here is your man! He somehow fell into the swamp of the enemy, and he finds himself unable to walk out! But have not you seen all this and paid the price of his rescue ? Have not you said to ask in your name - anything - and that you would do it ? Well I ask on his behalf now! I ask that your hand takes him out of the swamp he is currently in and that he accepts the rescue. In whatever way you want to do it Father.

In Jesus name AMEN

bigsombrero

Hey,

I recognize a lot of your symptoms - my situation was very similar. I was very shy and somewhat anxious, but I began drinking heavily and things changed. Between the ages of 18-37 I was very outgoing, especially when drunk. Unfortunately I also suffered quite a bit due to my drinking, and in the end quitting alcohol was the best thing for me.

Upon getting sober I realized immediately that anxiety was an issue. For 1.5 years, I struggled through it, hoping things would just "get better" on their own. Things definitely improved, and I'm glad I waited...but in the end, I did a few things that really helped:

1. Lowered caffine intake. I used to drink almost a pot of coffee per day, but I now just have 1-2 cups per day max.
2. Stopped smoking cigs. This was quite helpful.
3. Exercise. I go for a jog most every morning, especially when really stressed this is quite helpful.
4. Saw my doctor. I now take non-addictive prescription medication for anxiety. I am on a low dose, but it is working. Simply going to the doctor's appointment made me feel so much more confident, and I have been able to improve.

Finally, I have just accepted that certain situations just make me socially anxious. They always have. And I'm okay with it. I deal with the anxiety when it comes, rely on coping mechanisms, and calm down until it passes.

The world won't end if you are anxious. Life will go on. But there's also no shame in living the lifestyle that's right for you. Some of us prefer a quiet, more peaceful existence. There is nothing wrong with seeking that out. By staying sober, you will be able to build the type of peaceful, happy lifestyle that works for you.

justsomeone

I know what you mean, angel. I remember being a small child and dealing with the anxiety. Lots of people have their anxiety improve after sobriety, but I've always been like this.

I have tried antidepressants. They helped get me through some tough times, but they didn't help with the social anxiety and I isolated myself even more. And I couldn't stop drinking completely when on these meds, which could have been dangerous.

Do you drink a lot of coffee? My heart palpitations have been coming back with a vengeance, so I've decided to tackle caffeine (sober from alcohol for 98 days, so it's challenging to deal with all this at the same time). I had no idea just how addicted I am to caffeine! I've been dealing with migraine-like headaches for two days now. So I've decided to taper a little to deal with it all.

I agree with pavaoiztarza in some ways. I'm starting to see this as a deeply spiritual problem. I don't believe in Satan, but I do believe that our own minds or 'something' is trying to keep us separated from God or peace, or whatever you want to call it. It's a challenge to separate yourself from those thoughts that keep you down. Those thoughts can be so subtle.

I hope you find the answer that's right for you. I know how tiring it is.

Joe Nerv

To celebrate my 1 year anniversary I planned a weekend away with my girlfriend at the Jersey Shore. I live in NY. I made it to Staten Island, about 20 miles from home before fear and anxiety kept me from going any further. I was still incapable due to panic attacks to get any further. We vacationed in Staten Island.

A year earlier I couldn't get to the corner store to buy a quart of beer. The fear was that paralyzingly.

30 sober years later I've traveled to many different countries, many parts of the US, and gotten married on a beach in Hawaii.

Point being that it absolutely can be done. And it takes time. Takes action, too. For me that action was AA, the 12 steps, therapy, exercise, a change of diet, learning some relaxation exercises, reading a lot of self help, and picking up whatever other tools I could along the way. And using those tools.

Whenever medication and doctors are mentioned I feel its important that I chime in as my take on that is different than most. People often say that doctors know best, yet I strongly disagree. Doctors know what they've been taught, and what they've been taught isn't always accurate. There are definite risks involved in taking anti anxiety and anti depression medications. It is my very strong opinion that anyone considering them should research them thoroughly, as well as alternative treatments, before discussing them with a doctor. Discussing these things with a psychiatrist, at least in the US, is essentially a decision to treat ourselves with medication. That's what the current field of psychiatry is built upon. A GP may advise differently, but a GP is not a place I'd feel comfortable bringing my emotional and mental problems to. I'd only do so to see if there was some sort of medical issue possibly causing it. One that could be shown to me through blood and urine tests.

Many people claim to get relief from medication. I feel I've been healed by the application of the many tools I acquired in sobriety. Some people choose to treat physical illness with medication. Others holistically. We're free to treat our bodies however we choose. For me, medication would only be a very last option.

Need I state that this is my opinion only? I think that's obvious actually... .

Wishing you the best.

damagecontrol

In response to Joe Nerv,

I wouldn't consider medication as a "last" option, I'd just treat it as "an" option. I don't want to get into a western medicine vs. homeopathic medicine debate, but I would suggest keeping an open mind about all possible solutions, be they pharmaceutic, religious/spiritual, physical or anything else that could help. Everyone's different, and everyone's solution is going to be different, the important part is to be brave, and to keep looking for unique solutions that work for you.

For me, the best sleep solution has been physical activity followed by a non-prescription sleep aid (e.g. Nyquil).

Joe Nerv

Also don't want to debate, but the reason that I state what I do is that I know I overcame things that many others haven't, who have chosen the medication route. The discomfort of my condition was my motivation to learn different ways of living that facilitated a change. I am absolutely certain that I was a lot worse off than some of the people I know personally who went the medication route, and over time their condition worsened, while I healed. A woman I currently work with that I got sober with 30 years ago had mild anxiety and a few phobias (elevators and such). 30 years later she's shifting medications left and right, and barely able to function. She's not the only such person I know. I could document, in detail, many.

What also concerns me with medication is that I am certain from all the research I've done, that long term use of it can be harmful, in many ways that I won't bother getting into. Many people who start on that path have a really difficult (if not impossible) time getting off, and well... regardless of what a doctor might tell a patient, it's a risky, if not dangerous path to take.

The only people I know, who I felt truly benefited from antidepressant medication did it only for a short period of time. To get over a hump, or to just get their lives moving along again.

Not telling anyone what to do or not do other than educate themselves. I feel it's important to put the message out that these are not things that are impossible to overcome, as many therapists, psychiatrists and friends have told me. The whole chemical imbalance theory is a marketing scheme that I feel should be carefully researched by anyone going into this. And I'm not a conspiracy theorist. I'm a person who likes to examine all sides of the choices I make for myself. I have also tried several medications over the past 30 years. I find my life to be infinitely better without them.

Most people don't choose the route I chose. I didn't actually choose it, wasn't given a choice in my first few years of sobriety. If I sound off loudly at times I do so because I really believe my story is one that needs to be told. My panic and anxiety 100% crippled me. For at least 4 years straight. I'm free of it today, and not dependent upon doctors or chemicals for that freedom. And I don't think I'm a terribly unique human being.

advbike

I also have anxiety and used alcohol successfully for over 20 years to control it and be more social.. until it stopped working for me. Basically my anxiety and other problems such as interrupted sleep slowly got worse, especially toward the end of my drinking career. I managed to cut down and moderate, with great effort, for almost 10 years, but finally quit drinking for good 10 months ago.

When I quit entirely I experienced heightened anxiety for at least 6 months. Like you, I couldn't believe it got worse. As did some of my other compulsive behaviors. I finally realized I'm just kind of an anxious person, with some other behavioral issues, and that's probably why I drank to begin with. It is what the addictive mind is all about - filling the emotional void with something..

Like Joe Nerv, I was really seeking a solution that was permanent, and didn't involve meds. What it took to really begin to address my addictive mind, and anxiety, was two things: to build a relationship with my higher power, and also to learn to recognize when my compulsive thinking was making matters worse.

The first is a spiritual approach, ie. acknowledging our powerlessness, and turning things over to God. This is part of the 12 step process used by most recovery programs, and it works. I spend a few minutes in the morning and at night just thanking God for the many blessings I have and to take my life in the direction he wants, in other words acknowledging that I'm not really in control. That he is. Trying to control our lives, much less others, leads to many problems and worries, at least in my experience.

The other big change was mindfulness training, and for that I recommend A New Earth, or The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. A New Earth is more readable. It is simply amazing how our ego - the false self - will create havoc in our lives. The endless mind-speak that goes on in our heads tells us all kinds of stories all day long that will definitely increase anxiety. "they're watching you", "did you hear what she said?", "that guy is a ***** because he just cut you off", "you're a failure", "you're overweight".... "one drink won't hurt"... and on and on. It never stops until you learn to recognize it for what it is and how damaging it can be. Once you learn to recognize the voice of the ego you can start to quiet the mind and be more in the moment.

The last thing that helps me a lot, on a more immediate basis, is exercise. Some good cardio from running or biking helps raise serotonin and other endorphins. More recently I've found calming results from more simple activities like walking in the forest, yoga, and cycling on a quiet trail, or bike path. Listening to sounds in nature can bring down the heart rate and blood pressure.

Mrmellow11

I never had anxiety before drinking or while drinking....9 days after I quit drinking I had my first panic attack ever....felt like I was gonna pass out...never experienced anything like that ever b4 so I thought it was a heart attack...now 7 months later it seems to be improving (knock on wood).....but it's been a rough ride and definitely won't ever drink again after this nightmare of an experience

fluffyflea

Why don,t you try the therapy and meds if you need them without alcohol and see how it goes.

cookiesncream

Its very exhausting mentally. That is why I drank.
Agreed. I medicated myself with booze right into rehab too-not fun. Learning to deal with anxiety without self medicating is ROUGH. Sounds like you're dealing with more generalized stuff which is even harder. Hope you find something/some combination that works. I deal with anxiety with certain trigger situations that I'm finally finding a therapist to talk to that specializes in dealing with trauma.

Boudicca

Congratulations on your decision to quit! You won't be sorry.

That said, there is nothing wrong with going to a psychiatrist to be evaluated. If you feel you suffered from depression/anxiety prior to drinking, there may be a chance that you are suffering from a mental illness now. Only you and a professional can make that determination. Medications can and should be used to treat verifiable mental illness. They can be very helpful and are not always bad.

Whatever you do, don't go back to drinking. Make an appointment with a doctor and BE HONEST about your problems and mental history.

You don't need to suffer to be sober. Please continue to post and let us know how you are doing.

Joe Nerv

I've (successfully till now ) taken the summer off from forum posting, but I've been reading (lurking?) lots, and feel compelled to jump in here. Your opinion and experience is not the same as mine, and I've been doing lots of research lately.

For anyone who's considering seeing a psychiatrist or doctor in regard to their anxiety or depression, I think it's important to educate yourself before doing so. As I said in my previous post, consulting a psychiatrist is essentially a decision to treat ourselves medically. If that's the choice we're going to make I think it's important to educate ourselves on all sides of the matter before doing so. I recently came across a few websites that I think are important to investigate.

The Council for Evidence-based Psychiatry

And a place that shows a bit of the flip side of things for some of the people who chose the path of psychiatry Surviving Antidepressants .

Boudicca

Okay

Newpathway

Hi. I read that you have experience with anxiety after stopping drinking. Can you share with me your experience? I am 6 weeks sober and the first 4 weeks were frequent, daily panic and anxiety. Now less intense I'm still having anxiety attacks 3 or more times a day. I would appreciate any feedback you can give me! I'm in disbelief that this is really how it's supposed to be....This bad. Thank you.