tomb

I seem to have aniexty before and during a AA meeting. So much that I'm afraid someone is going to ask me to share and ill have a panic attack I get a lot out of these meetings. But am relieved when a meeting is over.

nandm

Hi Tomb.

I too have experienced high anxiety around meetings. It was especially prevalent in early sobriety but recently has returned although now the nature of the anxiety is different now.

What I did in early sobriety that seemed to help was when I went to a meeting I would make a point to get there early enough to find a seat where I would feel safe. For me that meant one near the door without a lot of people around me leaving me feeling trapped. As far as anxiety over being called on I made a plan ahead of time that if I was called on it was ok for me to pass. What I did was just make the plan to say "Thank you for calling on me but I think I will just listen today and pass my time." Sometimes that only came out as "I will just pass, thank you" but I gave myself permission that it was ok to do it which helped relieve some of the anxiety over being called on. It helped until that anxiety died down enough I could talk in a meeting.

It does seem to get better. It has been years since I have had speaking anxiety that has been bad. The anxiety that I experience today is around a PTSD flashback rather than speaking anxiety so I am struggling to just go to a certain meeting where that flashback occurred. I do hope you find something that helps you.

janiebluebird

I have anxiety speaking in meetings too. I think a lot of the reason I binge drank in the past was because I get tense in social situations in general. I was asked if I wanted to speak at the first meeting I went to the other night, after everyone else shared except me, it felt embarrassing but it wasn't all the bad after all - I said I was new and tried to relate in a few words to a sentence about a reflection that was read. My words came out a little jumbled as I was on edge, but someone talked to me afterwards and made me feel welcomed. I'm happy I said something. I could literally feel my leg shaking under the table. I don't think anyone else could notice but thats how nervous I was. I hope that by exposing myself more often it will lower.

Anaya

"I hope that by exposing myself more often it will lower" That is reassuring. Exposure (desensitization, I guess I could say) helped me, though, it took time.

Have you ever heard it said that when nervous about speaking in public, if you picture others in the room with you in their underwear, it will help you ease up and get through it? I am afraid if I pictured that, I would bust out laughing, which (of course) would be inappropriate, I would be embarrassed, and then back at square one, lol.

empiriotrash

Hey Tomb,

I get what you are going through. When I first started going to meetings my hands would be very sweaty and shaking, and when I had to share (mandatory in rehab) my voice would shake. Some stuff that had me pretty embarrassed. Whenever I got out of rehab and sharing was not mandatory I did my best to sit in the back and keep my head down.

What I found made it easier was finding a small meeting, about a dozen people. I would go to that meeting a lot and force myself to introduce myself before or after the meeting. I was a smoker so I would stand outside and say a sentence or two each time I went as it was a more relaxed environment than during the meeting. Eventually I got so used to seeing the same people I didn't mind sharing things about myself with them. I wouldnt share at other meetings, but listen and learn. I would use that one meeting a week to get out what was on my mind.

It took time for me to find the "right" meeting but in the end it was worth it as I would experience a relief and positive feedback from sharing what was going on.

Another thing that was useful was going to a lot of speaker meetings. That way I wouldn't be so worried about having to share the entire time.

It will get better in time..don't think you have to make a speech, little steps are fine!

Thanks for sharing

Also, its pretty likely that a lot of people there were or are in the same place as you. When I started sharing I would start with, "I get pretty uncomfortable sharing so I am going to keep this short.."

Anaya

"It will get better in time..don't think you have to make a speech, little steps are fine!"

I agree. It took longer than I would have liked for me to feel comfortable with speaking up in group situations (for example, meetings at work, NarAnon meetings, social gatherings) but eventually I could do it and actually feel confident.

Soberpotamus

I'm experiencing anxiety at meetings as well. I'm in a group therapy setting and attending some AA meetings. I feel more comfortable sharing in group though.

Last AA meeting I actually felt paranoid as I seemed to be noticed by most people there. For whatever reason, the old men who shared kept making eye contact with me and that was unsettling.

I hope this anxiety goes away in time. Ugh. I definitely do not plan on sharing anytime soon, only listening.

Good thread.

Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery

Anaya

Though social anxiety has always been a stumbling block for me, I keep working at dealing with it.

As far as meetings, I found those helpful but stopped going because I couldn't hear (been working on getting help with hearing over time and moreso since then but it's still not up to par).

I am so thankful to have this site to come to and participate! I can continue with support and learning and don't have to rely on my ears while here.