can't contain it, have to say something
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 590
can't contain it, have to say something
If you don't live with bad anxiety then you'll think I'm nuts. Whenever something goes wrong or something negative happens in my vicinity I automatically think it must be my fault and I have an attack. If something out of the ordinary happens I have an attack. If I go anywhere and god forbid someone talks to me or looks at me I have an attack. But today I saw that a thread that I posted on had been closed. Well normally this would put me through the roof and would immediately be PMing to appologize for whatever I said wrong, even though in reality I didn't say anything wrong. But today about four hours after I saw that the thread had been closed it suddenly hit me that nothing had happened. It had just rolled off my shoulder into nothing and I didn't have an attack. Then I got to thinking and realized the last time I went to the store someone said hi to me and we talked for a bit and I didn't have an attack. Now I'm not saying that my anxiety has suddenly been lifted but I am saying that the therapy or talking in a cyber manner or something seems to be finally doing something. I know the average person who doesn't understand anxiety is probably thinking, what a wack job, but to me this makes me very very happy. And have surprised myself. I guess it's like the saying. The little things matter most. Sorry I'm just so happy that I literaly couldn't contain myself and had to say something. If this is a result of SR then thank you...
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Hey that is wonderful! I have had a bad day and although not an anxiety prone person, I know it can be physically painful. I don't get it much because I don't fear the fear anymore. You named it with the expectations followed by the thing we feared the most. Congrats on breaking that cycle some. It will happen more and more as you go. Once you are over it though there is one drawback. You will discover that people are so wrapped up in themselves most of the time that not only are you not at cause for the bad things, but are likely not even noticed. It would be easy to feel unwanted once we realize we aren't interesting enough for all in the world to notice us. But the relief in feeling secure and only responsible for our own feelings will always be a more than equal trade.
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