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Old 11-07-2011, 08:13 AM   #1 (permalink)

Join Date: Nov 2011
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What can I do to get rid of anxiety without drugs?

I have a lot of anxiety including social anxiety.

It's easy for me to rationalize that I shouldn't be afraid, but the symptoms still come. Taking deep breaths does not help at all.

How can I get rid of it all?
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Old 11-07-2011, 03:50 PM   #2 (permalink)

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Location: World traveler, US
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Lightbulb Have you tried "Mindfulness"?

I'm new to it myself, but my therapist has asked me to try doing Mindful meditation. It's a specific type, created by a Buddhist monk and apparently it's gaining followers. She explained it to me, then I looked for Apps for my iPad (because I'm too lazy to buy a book, and I found a few, of course...lol). There's a lot of free info on the web about it.

I haven't actually done the meditation yet, but I've been doing something that they recommend which is trying to refocus and "be in the moment". Or stopping and thinking about where you are, what triggered the anxiety, and yes taking a breath. But it's more about awareness than breathing.

Now I've noticed that when I get stressed, I stop and stress over the fact that I haven't done the meditation and don't know more about it yet. At least it gets my mind of the initial stress... I wonder if there is anyone here who has more experience with it?
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Old 11-08-2011, 06:57 AM   #3 (permalink)

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Location: Irish
Posts: 550
Been an Adult Child of a Dysfunctional Family I first needed to see where all this Anxiety was Coming From before I could Do Something about it.
Below is what has helped me..................I needed to be honest with myself and admit to them or stay in denial....I answered Yes to all of the Traits at the begining............I have Much Improved sense I first read them.
I now know what happened to me .......So I can now change them.

My Character traits...............That Cause me to be over anxious

Here are Janet Woititz's Characteristics, published in her book Adult Children of Alcoholics.

1. Adult children of alcoholics guess at what normal behavior is.

2. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end.

3. Adult children of alcoholics lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.

4. Adult children of alcoholics judge themselves without mercy.

5. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty having fun.

6. Adult children of alcoholics take themselves very seriously.

7. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty with intimate relationships.

8. Adult children of alcoholics overreact to changes over which they have no control.

9. Adult children of alcoholics constantly seek approval and affirmation.

10. Adult children of alcoholics usually feel that they are different from other people.

11. Adult children of alcoholics are super responsible or super irresponsible.

12. Adult children of alcoholics are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved.

13. Adult children of alcoholics are impulsive. They tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. This impulsively leads to confusion, self-loathing and loss of control over their environment. In addition, they spend an excessive amount of energy cleaning up the mess.

Tony A's Laundry List

a. We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures.

b. We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process.

c. We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism

d. We either become alcoholics, marry them, or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs.

e. We live life from the viewpoint of victims and are attracted by that weakness in our love and friendship relationships.

f. We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves. This enables us not to look too closely at our own faults.

g. We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.

h. We become addicted to excitement.

i. We confuse love with pity and tend to "love" people who we can `pity" and "rescue".

j. We have stuffed our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much (denial).

k. We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem.

l. We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us.

m. Alcoholism is a family disease and we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of the disease even though we did not pick up the drink.

n. Para-alcoholics are reactors rather than actors.

Most of The above cause me to be overly Anxious.......Knowing them is the only way I can Change them.MC

I need to be on my Guard...........using Positive Statements to ease My Anxiety..........While I Re Parent Myself with gentleness,Humour,Love And Respect.
I need to work the Steps and the ACA Solution to the Best Of My Ability.

A good one is HALTS=Watch out for...been..Hungary.Angry,Lonely,Tiered,Serious

• I don't have to make myself anxious about anything, or put myself down if I stupidly and foolishly do make myself anxious.
• My anxiety is bad, but I'm not bad.
• I don't always have to feel comfortable, and it isn't awful when I don't.
• I can bear—and bear with—anxiety: it won't kill me.
• It is not necessary to be in perfect control of my anxious moments. To demand that I be in control only multiplies my symptoms.
• Others are not required to treat me with kid gloves when I feel uncomfortable.
• The world doesn't have to make it easy for me to get a handle on my anxiety.
• Anxiety is a part of life; it is not bigger than life.
• My over-reactive nervous system is a part of my life, but it's not bigger than life.
• I can take my anxiety with me when going places and doing things that I am reluctant to do (or stay isolated).
• Controlling my anxiety is important, but hardly urgent.
• Comfort is nice, but not necessary.
• I don't have to be the one person in the universe to feel comfortable all the time.
• I'd better not feel calm, relaxed, and serene all the time, because if I did, I'd have one dickens of a time motivating myself
• Anxiety and panic are burrs in my saddle: highly inconvenient and uncomfortable, but hardly awful.
• I don't have to hassle myself or put myself down for not coping better with my anxiety.
• This, too, will likely pass.
• I can blend in with the flow of my anxiety; I don't have to go tooth-and-nail, head-on with it.
• If I feel anxious, I feel anxious—tough!
• I may have my anxiety, but I am not my anxiety.
• I don't have to shame or demean myself for anything—including creating tight knots in my gut.
• Feelings of awkwardness, nervousness, or queasiness may interfere with my projects, but they do not have to ruin them.
If we cannot say NO, then our YES is meaningless.

Fear knocked at the door,Faith answered,There was no one there.

God, if I can’t have what I want, let me want what I have.
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Old 11-08-2011, 12:04 PM   #4 (permalink)

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Location: Irish
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In the Big AA book it says..........We thought we could find an easier softer way,but the result was nill until we let go Completely,or words to that effect.

Extreme Worry and associated Anxiety Comes from a dysfunctional Family Upbringing .

We worry, worry,worry,For no good reason but to feel miserable.

This is the way I have Been For Most of my Life....It needs to stop.....
But to Stop it I need to Understand Where Its Coming From.

This is My Formula to understand.... IT...it....it...it

Been Honest.........Im Powerless over this Emotion
1...I have a need to worry
2...Worry is my obsession
3...I would not be me if I did not worry
4...Worry has been part of my life sense I was a child
5...Worry is an Inherited Emotion that was overused in my family of origion.
6...Worry is ment to keep me safe not Try to Destroy me.
7...Worry has a useful place in my life and need only be used in extreme Situations..........that invaribly have a Positive Outcome.
8...If I organise my life in a more Thoughtful way I will not have a need to Worry in the extreme.
9...This Emotion needs to be Made Dormont and used only when a good reason to use it exists.
10...My HP will always be there in times of need........I need never doubt..Amen
If we cannot say NO, then our YES is meaningless.

Fear knocked at the door,Faith answered,There was no one there.

God, if I can’t have what I want, let me want what I have.
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Old 11-08-2011, 12:29 PM   #5 (permalink)

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Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 95
I too suffer from this. It is ultimately what triggered my alcohol and drug dependence - although I see other issues as I work at recovery, do an inventory, etc. The steps or some version of an honest evaluation can really help. Mindful Based Anxiety Reduction (an online program) is a very good tool. I also read a spiritual description online that really resonated - it is driven by a deep-seeded fear of giving and receiving love. There is a wall that we've put up, driven by fear and distrust, that inhibits us from expressing love - thus reducing the love we receive back. I can't word it as succintly as the essay did, but if you're adept at googling and the internet you could search for it. I wish you the best.
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Old 11-20-2011, 04:38 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I find the restroom- go be alone for a few minutes close my eyes and ask myself "what is really going on here?" If I can concentrate on the reality of the situation, list known facts in my head, and not my perception I usually calm down, cause 90% of the time it's all ok.

*If it's worth being anxious over, my anxiety will come in handy to deal with the situation.
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