Dealing with Guilt and anxiety
 

Hey guys I am about to make it a week of being sober. One of the reasons I began this toxic habit was after a night in which I was black out drunk and cheated on my long time girlfriend. The next morning I was sick to my stomach with guilt and anxiety, I spent the day a mess, throwing up and losing myself. This is something I have never done and never wanted to do and the conflict in character was killing me. Since that day In the spring I have dealt with the guilt and anxiety by drinking. Whenever I had a calm moment at night when I wasnt working the guilt and anxiety would emerge. I would drink to kill it.

Since stopping this cycle my mind has been clear and I am dealing with it better. I talked to several of my close friends that told me I need to put this behind me and forget about it. I am looking for advice on how to deal with the guilt of what I did. I have never told my girlfriend and honestly would never want to. I know I will never make this mistake again as I never made it in 29 years prior. I do not want her to suffer at all and am looking for ways to deal with this guilt on my own.

I can't imagine what you're going through, but you may not like my response. The only way to do away with the guilt and anxiety is to:

A: Tell her the truth

B: Break it off

There is no real way around it. A week sober is a big deal, celebrate it, but you need to kill the guilt and anxiety in order to truly deal with the root cause of why you're celebrating your sobriety. Seeing you in a certain state may have hurt her enough, and trying to figure out why you chose that route may have already caused her suffering, but I don't know your story and I'm not judging, just want to give you something to consider.

Being accountable for your actions albeit the state you were in, would be a good start for growth and putting an end to the feeling. I wish you the best.

The only way I was able to deal with my guilt and shame in a healthy manner was 1) therapy and 2) AA.

Therapy was great and helped me work on lots of things about myself.

AA and the steps gave me a plan for living, including dealing with those feelings that are normal in every alcoholic. As time went on and I worked through the steps, those feelings gradually diminished.

I've done a lot of bad stuff in my addictive past that used to cause anxiety, quilt and general suffering. In recovery I learned to forgive myself. I can not go back and change the past. I can learn from my indiscretions, not repeat them and balance the bad that I have done by doing more than my share of good.

I have to echo everyone else. Therapy has been the one thing to help me stop feeling guilty about the past. I am still working through it, and it isn't always pretty.

AA has helped me a lot too, because I like you all so much and I think "Well, if they got through it and they are cool people, then I can too...." You all inspire me to keep trying!

I agree with the therapy if it is causing you so much anguish. I do not think you should tell your girlfriend though? What good would that do? It would only hurt her and then continue your anguish....just my .02

I hope you have grown with experience. I would not tell her. it would make you feel better and destroy her