New Here; Family Doesn't "Believe" in Anxiety. I'm Alone in Distress
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 5
New Here; Family Doesn't "Believe" in Anxiety. I'm Alone in Distress
Hi all, I just joined this site and I'm so relieved to find people who are going through the same things. I was looking for the best cure for anxiety/OCD/depression and from this thread it seems like klonopin and effexor work well for a lot of you?
One obstacle in my seeking a recovery is that I come from an Asian family that doesn't believe in "psychology" at all.. If anyone has similar experiences or suggestions I'd really appreciate it. Right now this whole anxiety thing is such a huge stigma for me... according to my parents you can "control everything you do and think" so whenever I had panic attacks or depression, they would just tell me all I had to do was make myself stop doing/feeling that way. Added on to that is that all these year my panic attacks/depression was essentially "my own fault."
I just got out of college and am looking for a job, and since my parents won't even hear of it, I currently don't have funding for any medication or doctor's visits. Does anyone know anything at ALL that you can do on your own to relieve the symptoms??? Being anxious 24/7 is so tiring and at this rate I can't see how I will EVER get a job when I have heart palpitations and shaking and tension whenever I go to an interview.
Sorry this is a really long post and not that much related to Prozac, but all of you seem to have so much more experience with this and tried out new drugs and ways to recover. Thanks in advance for any advice!!
*despite all this pressure from all my asian friends/relative to keep my anxiety to myself, a little voice in my head keeps saying I have to do whatever it takes to fix it now or it will paralyze me from living my life and be the worst thing I could do--but I am surrounded by people who say the opposite and some outside opinions would really help me decide what to do
One obstacle in my seeking a recovery is that I come from an Asian family that doesn't believe in "psychology" at all.. If anyone has similar experiences or suggestions I'd really appreciate it. Right now this whole anxiety thing is such a huge stigma for me... according to my parents you can "control everything you do and think" so whenever I had panic attacks or depression, they would just tell me all I had to do was make myself stop doing/feeling that way. Added on to that is that all these year my panic attacks/depression was essentially "my own fault."
I just got out of college and am looking for a job, and since my parents won't even hear of it, I currently don't have funding for any medication or doctor's visits. Does anyone know anything at ALL that you can do on your own to relieve the symptoms??? Being anxious 24/7 is so tiring and at this rate I can't see how I will EVER get a job when I have heart palpitations and shaking and tension whenever I go to an interview.
Sorry this is a really long post and not that much related to Prozac, but all of you seem to have so much more experience with this and tried out new drugs and ways to recover. Thanks in advance for any advice!!
*despite all this pressure from all my asian friends/relative to keep my anxiety to myself, a little voice in my head keeps saying I have to do whatever it takes to fix it now or it will paralyze me from living my life and be the worst thing I could do--but I am surrounded by people who say the opposite and some outside opinions would really help me decide what to do
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
Hi, gchen,
And welcome to the anxiety forum of SR!
I moved your post to it's own thread because it was on a very old thread and I wanted you to be able to get some responses.
You ask a very good question. Is there anything we can do to relieve any of our own anxiety. The answer is yes, you can help your anxious symptoms. You need to take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually to do so. That means eating right and exercising; continuing to learn new things; meditating and using positive affirmations; and connecting with your Higher Power.
All of these areas make up your total self. And we need to care for the total self to feel good. If you're not used to doing so, just take it one step at a time. Start with one area, then add another until you are working on your total self. You'll be amazed at how well you will begin to feel.
It's true that you may still need medication. But, before you try meds, do start with a healthy lifestyle. It's what nature intended.
Let us know how it's going. We care.
Shalom!
And welcome to the anxiety forum of SR!
I moved your post to it's own thread because it was on a very old thread and I wanted you to be able to get some responses.
You ask a very good question. Is there anything we can do to relieve any of our own anxiety. The answer is yes, you can help your anxious symptoms. You need to take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually to do so. That means eating right and exercising; continuing to learn new things; meditating and using positive affirmations; and connecting with your Higher Power.
All of these areas make up your total self. And we need to care for the total self to feel good. If you're not used to doing so, just take it one step at a time. Start with one area, then add another until you are working on your total self. You'll be amazed at how well you will begin to feel.
It's true that you may still need medication. But, before you try meds, do start with a healthy lifestyle. It's what nature intended.
Let us know how it's going. We care.
Shalom!
I hope you find the answers you're looking for here, there's plenty of support on this site.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Tyne and Wear, UK
Posts: 60
gchen, I'm sorry to hear that you're having such difficulties and that you've come up against extra barriers to asking for help.
historyteach has some great advice there, as always
I need to take on that advice-I've bought a new swimming costume and I'm finally buying things I actualy have to cook now, rather than opening it from a tin! I'm also taking time out to do things I enjoy that I find relaxing-reading, listening to calming music. It's really tough when I feel rubbish to keep going and make myself eat properly or excercise or do things I enjoy instead of getting bogged down in worry, so I understand, and you are free to write to me anytime you feel that way too!
In terms of meds, I am due to start a course of Citalopram for anxiety and depression, and will let you know how that goes. But if that course of action isn't available to or suitable for you, then don't forget that there are lots of people here who understand and will share their experiences and offer their support.
Good luck xx
historyteach has some great advice there, as always
I need to take on that advice-I've bought a new swimming costume and I'm finally buying things I actualy have to cook now, rather than opening it from a tin! I'm also taking time out to do things I enjoy that I find relaxing-reading, listening to calming music. It's really tough when I feel rubbish to keep going and make myself eat properly or excercise or do things I enjoy instead of getting bogged down in worry, so I understand, and you are free to write to me anytime you feel that way too!In terms of meds, I am due to start a course of Citalopram for anxiety and depression, and will let you know how that goes. But if that course of action isn't available to or suitable for you, then don't forget that there are lots of people here who understand and will share their experiences and offer their support.
Good luck xx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Ft Worth, TX
Posts: 174
Yeah, that's one of the worst parts about anxiety. It's not something that people who don't suffer from it can really understand. I can't tell you how many times I've heard,"It's all in your head," and,"Just calm down," and,"What are you so anxious about?" It's really hard to describe to people who don't really know about it.
My advice is try to see a therapist or councelor. Preferably without your family knowing about it, as they don't sound very supportive. Just having someone to talk to about how you've been feeling who really understands that it's a very real problem will probably make you feel better. They can also help you address what's causing the problem and teach you techniques to deal with the anxiety.
Depending on where you live, there may be counceling available for free because you don't have a job. I'd check the internet or just start calling counselors in your area and ask where you can get free treatment.
In my opinion, there's just no substitute for proffessional therapy. But anything you can do to help you relax on a daily basis will probably help. I take tai chi and got a book on meditation. Both of those have helped a lot, but you have to do the stuff daily for at least a few weeks before you really start to feel better. At least, that's how it worked for me.
As for the meds, it seems like people tend to respond differently to different meds. Some work for some people but not others. Some people suffer side effects, but some don't. I think finding the right med for someone involves a lot of trial and error. Personally, I'd try therapy first and if you don't feel better after a couple months of that go see a doctor about some meds. Of course, I'm neither a doctor nor a therapist, so I don't really know what's best for you.
Welcome to SR. Good luck, and keep us posted.
My advice is try to see a therapist or councelor. Preferably without your family knowing about it, as they don't sound very supportive. Just having someone to talk to about how you've been feeling who really understands that it's a very real problem will probably make you feel better. They can also help you address what's causing the problem and teach you techniques to deal with the anxiety.
Depending on where you live, there may be counceling available for free because you don't have a job. I'd check the internet or just start calling counselors in your area and ask where you can get free treatment.
In my opinion, there's just no substitute for proffessional therapy. But anything you can do to help you relax on a daily basis will probably help. I take tai chi and got a book on meditation. Both of those have helped a lot, but you have to do the stuff daily for at least a few weeks before you really start to feel better. At least, that's how it worked for me.
As for the meds, it seems like people tend to respond differently to different meds. Some work for some people but not others. Some people suffer side effects, but some don't. I think finding the right med for someone involves a lot of trial and error. Personally, I'd try therapy first and if you don't feel better after a couple months of that go see a doctor about some meds. Of course, I'm neither a doctor nor a therapist, so I don't really know what's best for you.
Welcome to SR. Good luck, and keep us posted.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: I'll let you know when I figure it out
Posts: 92
I can sorta relate a little here. Whenever I tell my father about my anxiety/feelings. He tends to shrug it off and tell me to cope. Actually sometimes he gets angry and starts yelling at me,telling me there's nothing wrong with me and that it's all in my head. While it just might be"in my head",it effects alot more.. work,family the whole nine yards. I believe psychology is real. Unfortunatly I also feel most people in the field are just glorified witchdoctors.(the ones I've personaly dealt with) I wish you all the best with your fight against anxiety.
If you are lost, stand still
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: James Island, SC
Posts: 159
I'll write more later (if I remember) but if you do indeed need medication (which, I agree should not be the FIRST thing tried, without counseling) you can go to a Physician or Psychiatrist and talk to them about your financial situation, and ask if they can give you free samples of a medication.
Some medications are very similar, and when discussing which one to try, knowing that I was concerned about cost (no insurance), he suggested we start with one he had free samples of. Luckily, it did work, and I've been going back for samples ever since
Some medications are very similar, and when discussing which one to try, knowing that I was concerned about cost (no insurance), he suggested we start with one he had free samples of. Luckily, it did work, and I've been going back for samples ever since
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Can you get to a new gp and see if they can recommend you for counselling, seriously! No-one will know and you can sneak away for an hour a week. Maybe you can get some sort of help for the meds, would the gov subsidise it, where are you living, i'm from the UK but in spain!
I'm just coming off anti-depressants, been on them for 5 months, really helped me to get a start and out of a rut. Family is a great thing but they are only human and you need to get an opinion of a professional in this case, rather than them feeling they need to maybe apologise in 10 years when your life is a pile of ****!
Please don't listen to all the crap about its your fault, pull yourself together, what is wrong with you, your brother/sister/friend doesn't have these problems why do you? Lmao dumb mofo's (not your family...you know what i mean!!!).
Good luck to you, btw you can private message people on this forum and it is all confidential etc. I'll add you as a friend...don't live with it!
ONE MORE THING - I am best friends with my exgf and both her children had what you are describing. David is 25 and I got him into counseling, turns out he actually had adhd causing the problems so got concerta as meds, life is cool now. Got Sarah, now 21, to counselors too, now she is at university after having panic attacks galore, losing weight and bigtime anxiety.
I'm just coming off anti-depressants, been on them for 5 months, really helped me to get a start and out of a rut. Family is a great thing but they are only human and you need to get an opinion of a professional in this case, rather than them feeling they need to maybe apologise in 10 years when your life is a pile of ****!
Please don't listen to all the crap about its your fault, pull yourself together, what is wrong with you, your brother/sister/friend doesn't have these problems why do you? Lmao dumb mofo's (not your family...you know what i mean!!!).
Good luck to you, btw you can private message people on this forum and it is all confidential etc. I'll add you as a friend...don't live with it!
ONE MORE THING - I am best friends with my exgf and both her children had what you are describing. David is 25 and I got him into counseling, turns out he actually had adhd causing the problems so got concerta as meds, life is cool now. Got Sarah, now 21, to counselors too, now she is at university after having panic attacks galore, losing weight and bigtime anxiety.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
I'm on two meds for anxiety, with mixed success. Sometimes they help, other times they don't. There are also herbal 'remedies' for anxiety, chamomile tea is useful in relaxing yourself. Valerian and skullcap are also helpful in relieving anxiety. Google "natural remedies for anxiety" and see what comes up.
I'm sorry your family is being so stubborn in their approach. Please pay them no mind, and focus instead on your own well being.
Is there an agency in your area that treats mental health conditions and charges a fee based on your income, so it's affordable. We have such a place in my area, and many urban areas have such mental health clinics.
I hope you can find one.:ghug3
I'm sorry your family is being so stubborn in their approach. Please pay them no mind, and focus instead on your own well being.
Is there an agency in your area that treats mental health conditions and charges a fee based on your income, so it's affordable. We have such a place in my area, and many urban areas have such mental health clinics.
I hope you can find one.:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 741
Help in Getting Meds and Advice
Try looking up your county health department and seeing what they offer. Where I am at (suburb) they offer counseling on a sliding scale and may be able to get you on some sort of program with the state to help you with the meds or something. At least you can have someone to talk to about what you are going through.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
I agree with the others that you should get into counseling. When I first went into counseling nearly 30 yrs ago I couldn't afford it and at that time it wasn't covered by insurance, but I would a therapist that I could pay based on a sliding scale. The therapist asked me up front what I could afford and that's what I paid. Many churches have a therapist they can refer you to based on what you can afford.
There are also many natural herbs and vitamins that may help you, just google something like "anxiety reducing herbs".
Good luck.
J
There are also many natural herbs and vitamins that may help you, just google something like "anxiety reducing herbs".
Good luck.
J
To infinity.....AND BEYOND!
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas
Posts: 132
I assure you anxiety is real. I've had it for years and have only recently convinced my father that it is real and that I needed help. I hope you get the care you need as I know how miserable a life filled with anxiety can be.
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