Anger and anxiety?
 

I may be way off base here, but has anyone experienced irrational anger after an anxiety period?

Part of my work is to give lectures. I´m just getting over dealing with major anxiety in my life - buying real estate, death in the family and a stressful journey. I´ve noticed I get incredibly angry when it´s not appropriate - and I do practice anger management and positive affirmations. It is normally so calming.

Just now my idea of a lecture was rejected in favour of someone else´s, but I was asked to do a ten minute bit. My instinct was to refuse and point out how unfair this was, which I didn´t do, thank God. I accepted calmly. Then I did some anger management and was astounded by the negative thoughts I have. I couldn´t finish, and now my anxiety has returned.

Part of me - a big part - wants to do an incredibly silly thing which would ruin my career and leave me friendless: Make trouble. I hope I can let go and do the thing like a responsible person.

Any input would be great.

Love and light,

Lilya,

Im no expert on anger. Just have a lot of experience with panic/anxiety.

I dont think there is anything wrong with being angry, so long as that anger poses no harm to others.

I felt the way you feel before, I understand. I had a boss I wanted to punch out so bad, but my sense of reason showed me the consequences of my actions. It further showed me the regret I would suffer. I would have thrown a good part of my life away due to actions resulting from anger.

I decided to get even by doing a much better job at work so I could not be denied. Sounds corny, I know, but I am proud to be where I am today, because I held my anger in restraint.

I know life can be unfair sometimes. Little we can do about that except move to be the best we can be. That'll show em.

About the anxiety, your thoughts, you may have had anxiety during or after anger and now a relationship between the two has formed.

Sounds like you're dealing with a lot of stressful issues. Your anger may just be the result of frustration or your way of trying to deal with all of it somehow.

Talk to a therapist, or counselor, someone who can give much more qualified advice. What I give you is my opinion and encouragement.

Things can and will get better.

Intro

I just asked my p-doc about this 2 weeks ago whether there was a relationship between anxiety and anger and she said no, the anger is usually related to depression.
Most often depression and anxiety are two sides of the same coin.

Thank you both for your insightful replies. It was really helpful.

I think anger can come from helplessness, and your replies have helped me to explore that with my therapist. I had a big anxiety attack later yesterday and had a quick talk with her on the phone.

She told me that a death in the family, particularly as it was a young child and totally unexpected, could be the reason I´m so angry.

Intro, I really wanted to punch all these guys with whom I´m doing the lectures and really, really make trouble. I am the only woman in this group and it´s easy to pin my insecurity on classic "male domination". But, I got far like you because I held my anger in check and stopped nagging. These guys have the tendencies to trample over my feelings, but I know they respect me.

In anger management I´ve learned not to expect too much of people. I need to constantly remind myself. It is so important not to nag or make a nuisance of oneself. I have never known that to work.

Love and light,

When I get panicky I get angry. Ive read up on some panic attacks being called anger attacks and one can fly into a rage. Its most commonly associated with PTSD

What a good input, Cindarella. Thanks.

I really needed to read this.

I am really angry today at my boss and my staff. It will be difficult enough to manage this project and receive foreign guests, but I get sick when people use silent treatment instead of working things out. I want to change my career, I really do.

It will be all over in the last week in August. I can´t wait for that to happen. I am envious of one of the persons who work for me, because she doesn´t have the same level of responsability.

That made me think that maybe it´s time to let go of some of this stress and find a new and exciting way of using my education and knowledge.

Anger attacks linked with PTSD. Of course it makes sense! Then we feel the old trauma alla over without even noticing that.

Love and light,

Thanks for making the connection to PTSD, Cinderella. I would not have thought of that....but I have PTSD....but don't think about it much, as the depression is usually the pressing matter. I am prescribed a rather high dosage of anti-anxiety med.

For me, the anger is the "fight" option of the "fight-or-flight" reponse to anxiety. There's a lot of adrenaline involved with anxiety and in my case it can definitely cause aggression.

Breathing exercises, meditation, and putting down caffeine have helped me a lot. I also do 900mg of St John's Wort herbal (OTC) every day. My PCP says that there is significant anecdotal evidence that St. John's helps with anxiety and he supports it.

Just don't use St John's Wort if you are presribed for depression. They do not intereact well.

Also dont take St JOhns Wort if on birth control

Many thanks, Live and Mike.

Yes, it makes a lot of sense. I just doubt my meds work properly when there are major stress episodes. I have noticed I feel minimal stress when I´m in an exotic country. Then mind and body seem to connect in some divine way.

The trick is maybe to train the mind to be like that in our daily life. When I try, I become a bit shallow.

One thing I cannot and will not give up is coffee. Not possible when you´ve grown up in Paris where the coffee aroma is everywhere. ;)

Love and light,

What about switching to decaf Lilya

I hear that. I'm on again and off again myself. Whenever I go to Europe I hop right off that coffee wagon.

Caffeine wrecks me....anxiety wise. My system simply cannot tolerate it. But I also have PTSD.

How about decaf, Cindarella? Ouff! That´s hard.

Only in the evening... :)

Well, I know it´s bad for my anxiety. That is for sure. I know I should try harder, maybe that will come.

I drink herbal tea over the day and at night and that really helps.

Love and light,

Tired after reconciliation
 

Hello again,

I slept really badly for two nights because of the problems I had with my boss, irritation towards the men I work with and growing unhappiness of my staff. Madame refused to speak to me or take my calls so I went there and talked to her. There was reconciliation, which was a huge relief.

So tired after this stress I´m going to treat myself to a spa this afternoon.

I´m not angry anymore, only really, really tired and feeling slightly depressed, which often comes with fatigue. I keep thinking that I should do some career changes.

Has any of you been in a similar situation and changed jobs?

Love and light,