I don't know how to stop....
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Originally Posted by ScottC
This is, as you can see, my first post. I found this message board and registered because I need help.
I'm 31 and have been drinking heavily for about two years. I never really drank as a teenager or even as a college student. Drank socially with the occassional binge throughout my 20's, but it was never out of control. When I got separated and divorced 3 years ago, I started drinking more frequently, and it just progressed from there.
I don't tend to drink hard liquor...mainly just beer, with the occassional shot. But I have intense cravings and I can't stop once I start. I usually drink until I'm drunk. I occassionally drink enough to have black-out episodes and to throw-up. I get intense hangovers every time I drink, unless I let the buzz wear off completely before falling asleep. I call in sick to work and come in late to work on occassion due to drinking.
My wife and I are back together now, and our relationship is better than ever, and we have two beautiful daughters. But I can't stop drinking. I escape by going to the bar, eating wings, drinking beer, and playing trivia. But once I'm there, I can't stop drinking. I also smoke when I drink now, and I've never been a smoker.
I had a blood test done several months back and found out that I had high liver enzymes, apparently due to my heavy drinking. I stopped for two months because I was scared, and then when it was re-tested, it was better. So then I started drinking again.
I'm sick of being sick, I'm sick of upsetting my wife and making her worry about me, I'm sick of my four-year-old daughter asking me how many I've had, I'm sick of driving drunk, I'm sick of harming my body and my mind. I want to stop, but I can't. The urge to go is so overwhelming, and I always think I will be able to handle it this time, and I NEVER can. EVER.
I'm hungover today and feel terrible. I have immense guilt and anxiety. My stomach is in knots and I worry that my liver is bubbling with disease.
I'm sorry for the long, "woe-is-me" post, but I just really need some help/advice. I don't know what else to do. I'm utterly overwhelmed.
I'm 31 and have been drinking heavily for about two years. I never really drank as a teenager or even as a college student. Drank socially with the occassional binge throughout my 20's, but it was never out of control. When I got separated and divorced 3 years ago, I started drinking more frequently, and it just progressed from there.
I don't tend to drink hard liquor...mainly just beer, with the occassional shot. But I have intense cravings and I can't stop once I start. I usually drink until I'm drunk. I occassionally drink enough to have black-out episodes and to throw-up. I get intense hangovers every time I drink, unless I let the buzz wear off completely before falling asleep. I call in sick to work and come in late to work on occassion due to drinking.
My wife and I are back together now, and our relationship is better than ever, and we have two beautiful daughters. But I can't stop drinking. I escape by going to the bar, eating wings, drinking beer, and playing trivia. But once I'm there, I can't stop drinking. I also smoke when I drink now, and I've never been a smoker.
I had a blood test done several months back and found out that I had high liver enzymes, apparently due to my heavy drinking. I stopped for two months because I was scared, and then when it was re-tested, it was better. So then I started drinking again.
I'm sick of being sick, I'm sick of upsetting my wife and making her worry about me, I'm sick of my four-year-old daughter asking me how many I've had, I'm sick of driving drunk, I'm sick of harming my body and my mind. I want to stop, but I can't. The urge to go is so overwhelming, and I always think I will be able to handle it this time, and I NEVER can. EVER.
I'm hungover today and feel terrible. I have immense guilt and anxiety. My stomach is in knots and I worry that my liver is bubbling with disease.
I'm sorry for the long, "woe-is-me" post, but I just really need some help/advice. I don't know what else to do. I'm utterly overwhelmed.
I was 33 when I quit. Other than that, I felt exactly as you described. That's why I went to my first AA meeting and I haven't had a drink since. I'm 63 now.
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