I need help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: london
Posts: 23
Truth
Yes Cést
After my heavy drinking days began, I became a stranger to myself. I hated solitude. I avoided facing myself.
To survive , I started telling myself lies. And if a part of the mind still refused to believe, the first couple of drinks easily inveigled it.
It was like tearing oneself off from one's soul.
My ego believed it is a sign of weakness to admit that I cannot control my drinking.
The truth, which was always there, was hard to accept. Instead I resorted to wearing masks weaved with carefully contrived lies.
I tried to romanticise the concept of drinking. When I was feeling terrible self pity , I read about Hemingway and Faulkner, Modigliani and Churchill, to make my false and foolish justifications.
I linked art with alcohol , to tell another lie.
I lied again, when making the countless attempts to prove myself that alcohol cant dictate me.
No, none of them saves.
Alcoholism is nothing but a disease, and I am a victim. As I finally admit this, I feel relieved.
A simple acceptance of one truth saves me from a thousand lies.
After my heavy drinking days began, I became a stranger to myself. I hated solitude. I avoided facing myself.
To survive , I started telling myself lies. And if a part of the mind still refused to believe, the first couple of drinks easily inveigled it.
It was like tearing oneself off from one's soul.
My ego believed it is a sign of weakness to admit that I cannot control my drinking.
The truth, which was always there, was hard to accept. Instead I resorted to wearing masks weaved with carefully contrived lies.
I tried to romanticise the concept of drinking. When I was feeling terrible self pity , I read about Hemingway and Faulkner, Modigliani and Churchill, to make my false and foolish justifications.
I linked art with alcohol , to tell another lie.
I lied again, when making the countless attempts to prove myself that alcohol cant dictate me.
No, none of them saves.
Alcoholism is nothing but a disease, and I am a victim. As I finally admit this, I feel relieved.
A simple acceptance of one truth saves me from a thousand lies.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Finding out what I have been missing!
Posts: 1,011
[QUOTEI no longer have power over my thought patterns. 'Self will' has disappeared at some blurred boundary between sobriety and inebriation.
][/QUOTE]
I always said, "I have total control over how much I drink as long as I am sober" lol.
Great writing. It sounds like you know exactly what you need to do, now the easy part, you just need to focus on actually doing it!
Glad your here, we can help!
][/QUOTE]
I always said, "I have total control over how much I drink as long as I am sober" lol.
Great writing. It sounds like you know exactly what you need to do, now the easy part, you just need to focus on actually doing it!
Glad your here, we can help!
body ~ mind ~ spirit
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Geelong, Australia
Posts: 582
Originally Posted by sofoclese
One more day being sober..
I'm thankful to all, and need you with me in each step...
I'm thankful to all, and need you with me in each step...
Being sober is fun, I can do so much more and feel so much more and see so much more. Oh, and I grow up so much more and I am so much more and I know me so much better. AND I can give to other people a lot more and share myself.
There is heaps of other great stuff too!!
love and peace,
Brigid
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
sofoclese started an interesting new thread...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...849-fight.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...849-fight.html
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
