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This Place is Weird

Old 07-17-2006, 11:01 AM
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This Place is Weird

I can't connect to any of you in any way. Which surprises me since I have a lot in common with you folks. Of course I spent so many years of emotional stagnation.. and now a few months of rapid emotional growth.. I dunno, I guess it's me that's weird and all you guys got it going on.
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Old 07-17-2006, 11:08 AM
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Jerry - This sounds like your disease talking. All I know for sure is that my disease talks to me - it whispers in my head and pokes at me. It says things like, "You aren't like them. No one understands. It's better to be alone." and so on, ad infinitum.

Here's what I learned. I learned how to *show up and be open* at meetings, on message boards, or in the grocery store. I learned how to take things slowly and get to know other people and to let them get to know me. I learned how to consciously look for the similarities, not the differences.

I hope you stick around and give us and, most important, YOU another chance. It may take some time, but the connection and support and fellowship you will find is so worth it.

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Old 07-17-2006, 11:14 AM
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I'm curious as to why you don't think you have a connection. I read through some of your previous postings and the response you got from them. Others seem to understand what you have to say and find themselves wanting to respond. So can you elaborate a little. I'm at work bored, a little debate or conversation would be fun right now.
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Old 07-17-2006, 11:35 AM
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Know just how you feel. I used to think I was "unique" too. I finally discovered I was just a garden variety drunk, just like everyone else.
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Old 07-17-2006, 11:56 AM
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Wonderfuly strange we ALL are. Bit boring other wise, how could we learn if i dont read, listen ,ACT, n explore... ect, ect, ect....

please try n keep posting....

With love...!
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Old 07-17-2006, 12:40 PM
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What Phinny said.



(BTW, well said Phinny )
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Old 07-17-2006, 02:06 PM
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Yep, I am weird.
But I'm clean and sober and that at least proves I am sane!
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Old 07-17-2006, 03:44 PM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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Good to see you again...
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Old 07-17-2006, 04:56 PM
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I'm not an alcoholic and have never visited this forum, but the title of this thread just grabbed my attention. Feeling like you can't connect to anyone...there's a connection! Good to meet you. I live in a very rural area and no-one around here, not even in the NA meetings I've attended, shares my interest in my drug of choice, I do feel very "weird" and out of place for that, can't relate at ALL on the specifics. Same thing here at SR. Yet, that said, after some 555 or so posts, I have found a few with whom I can directly relate, even though they can't relate to my DoC either. WE work around the specifics and get to the heart of the matter, which is the addiction, and all that's involved. And on that, we're all in this together. Keep writing, and reading, and striving to connect. Things do start coming together, in time...
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Old 07-17-2006, 05:00 PM
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Originally Posted by aloneagainor
WE work around the specifics and get to the heart of the matter, which is the addiction, and all that's involved. And on that, we're all in this together.
Well said, aloneagainor!

Hope you re-consider, El Gato. Your input is important here.
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Old 07-17-2006, 05:21 PM
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Hi Jerry This is Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.

You know what I love the most about recovery? I meet people whose names remind me of someone else. Like you Jerry. I have a brother name Jerry and you are my first recovery friend here named Jerry. I dont recall an AA buddy back home named Jerry, so ur # 1. : )

I went to many meetings in early recovery and just listened. I related to everyone there. But u know what....and its my fault...i never allowed others to get to know me personally because i would run in to the meeting...hide out..then run out emmediately when it was over.

Dont look at me, dont talk to me ..u didnt see me.

And this went on for yrs and I always wondered why no one liked me.

It wasnt their fault but mine because i was too selfish or too self absorbed...self-centered. It was all about me back then.

I did begin to bake things and bring them to my meetings and this slowed me down a bit to allow others to say thank u. And they appreciated it.

Then as i was just about to FIT IN at 6 yrs sober we moved here to houston from Baton Rouge.

How dare we do that....lol It was a miracle move to allow our 2 kids to get a better education and open more doors of opportunity for them. that has been a HUGE plus.

Me...im still sober, but i have NOT connected to AA here in Houston like i did back home. I have however connected in here at SR. with u folks. For u guys im very greatful.

Jerry....don't give up. Bring the body and the mind will follow. U can expect others to open up to u if u dont do that to them. Start out small with smaller friendships and once u begin to feel trust then u can add on to more.

Hey Jerry, I need a NEW RECOVERY FRIEND. Will u be my friend? : )

Thanks for letting me share.
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Old 07-17-2006, 07:45 PM
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el gato
yeah i see people like connecting here and i feel "guy, how do you do that?"--i dont know how to be a part of?--i guess drinking all my adult life i missed how to be with otthers--but i totally know how you feel--well im here and we can talk!!
Laura
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Old 07-17-2006, 08:14 PM
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Originally Posted by El Gato
I can't connect to any of you in any way. Which surprises me since I have a lot in common with you folks. Of course I spent so many years of emotional stagnation.. and now a few months of rapid emotional growth.. I dunno, I guess it's me that's weird and all you guys got it going on.
A balance of 'listening' to people, and sharing yourself with people is how I connect with people here.

If you say, "I can't" you take your power away. The fact is, You can, You chose not too. Which is fine, but for me I try to never give my power away to anyone or anything.

People want to be heard, if you hear them, they will hear you as well.

When I share something, I 'try' not to hold any expectations as to what or if I may hear anything back.

There are days here when I also feel like I am not connecting with anyone, I think that is just my perception for the day.
If you look around you are probably more connected than you realize.

I hope you stay.
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Old 07-17-2006, 08:27 PM
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I went through six airport in three days this past weekend. What struck me was not how different we all are from one another... but how alike we are.

I could look around and see folks who remind me of ... me. And I am a pretty unusual looking gal. Then I saw someone who acted a lot like my mom... then one who was all helpful and sweet like some of the gals in Alanon. Next thing you know, I was giving folks "labels" of other folks I know who they remind me of.... or who remind me of how I USED to be .... or still COULD be.

It occured to me right in the middle of this that we are MUCH more alike than different.

I wonder how many others were thinking the very same thing as they waited in line, watching me watch them watching me....

El Gato... you weren't hanging around in Portland, or Chigaco or Columbus last weekend, were you? Lots of folks there who looked a little "out of place". Just like me.

((((El Gato))))
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Old 07-17-2006, 08:35 PM
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Been there and done.
 
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Originally Posted by El Gato
I can't connect to any of you in any way. Which surprises me since I have a lot in common with you folks. Of course I spent so many years of emotional stagnation.. and now a few months of rapid emotional growth.. I dunno, I guess it's me that's weird and all you guys got it going on.
Do you really mean that?

Seriously: we are all weird, all drug addicts with mental issues, down to the last person, IMO, including me. Welcome to the club.
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Old 07-17-2006, 08:43 PM
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I have one thing in common with most people here, and it usually seems like only one thing. I can relate to some people's experiences occasionally, but I dn't think I have "connected" with anybody here either.

I'm not sure I need to connect with anybody hee, or if just hearing other people's experiences with that one thing we have in common, alcoholism, is enough. It is nice hearing other people go through similar problems, and find solutions, whether I can relate to their situation or not.
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Old 07-17-2006, 08:59 PM
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When I read posts at SR, I do what my "mentor" told me to do if I ever decided to start going to AA...take what seems applicable to you, and leave the rest. There are plenty of posts here that I seem to not be able to relate to, but in the end, we are all battling an addiction. Granted, the addiction can take many forms, and people have various ways of overcoming, or battling the addiction. I think that everyone here has a lot to learn from everyone else, whether you can relate or not. Learning from other people's experiences can only make you a better person. I hope you stick around, too. I'm sure you'll find some common ground with someone.
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Old 07-17-2006, 08:59 PM
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I guess i might be wrong to ask, if so, please tell me, but what exactly is your "situation"? I am a curious kind of person, and who knows, we may actually connect..never know..glad you are here though..keep coming back..
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Old 07-17-2006, 11:46 PM
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hey el gato--hope your ok--waz up?
Laura
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Old 07-18-2006, 03:49 AM
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Jerry. Share with us somethings about you so we can better get to know you and what it is that u r going thru. Share ur experience, strength and hope with us. What it was like before, during and after drinkings or taking drugs.

We're here for u.
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